“The only reason for time is so that things don't happen all at once.”

- Albert Einstein

Hello, and how've you been? I know it's been a couple weeks since I spoke to you last. You were probably wondering where I went off to. Well, due to the elections, I got to have a week away from writing.

I can't say that it was a true vacation, because I still had to go to my “day” job, but I did manage to have some adventure nonetheless. So, I'll try to bring you up to speed with yours truly.

First off, Halloween was great. I got to be the belle of the ball, and somehow I survived without smudging my makeup or ruining my dress. On an interesting note, for some odd reason I found that more women talked to me while I was in my wedding gown then after I switched back into my jeans. I'm not sure why that was, but I'm starting to think that maybe I should begin thinking about adding a kilt to my fashion ensemble, because apparently I have great legs! Or so I'm told.

Now, I can't fairly play catch-up with out mentioning daylight saving time and how much fun I had last Sunday trying to figure out what time it actually was. You see, I must have been having a brain fart moment because instead of turning my clocks back, I accidentally moved the time forward. Imagine my confusion as I tried to figure out why it was that I was so early to all my appointments on Sunday.

And the sad part? I didn't realize my mistake until Monday afternoon! I went to work Monday at 7 a.m. even though it was really 5 a.m., and by noon I was so disoriented that I ended up staring at both the clock on the wall and the watch on my wrist all the while trying to do the math in my head. Theoretically I was ahead, but technically, I was an idiot.

To add to my headaches, I had to vote last week. Now I won't go into whom I voted for, not because I support the idea of the secret ballot but mainly because I'm not quite sure who got my support. Apparently someone was thinking a bit too much when it came to developing the new voting machines, because instead of standing in the usual curtain-draped booth with the levers, I had to contend with filling out a form and then running it through a computer. It was as if I was back in high school and trying to complete the S.A.T. exams.

Was flipping levers so difficult that we needed to add a few extra steps to prove democracy works? I mean, if I knew there was going to be a test at the end I would have studied the opponents more carefully.

So that's what I've been up to - a little confused, a tad bewildered, certainly befuddled but, all in all, still me.

Auburn native Bradley Molloy's column appears here each

Sunday. He can be reached at lovonian@hotmail.com