AUBURN - Although the Willard Chapel in Auburn was filled with tearful visitors, there were also warm embraces, inspiring music and homemade cookies.

The Hospice of the Finger Lakes held its annual Service of Remembrance Sunday, a tradition that is more than 20 years old, said Theresa Kline, executive director of the hospice.

“This is to offer support to the families of patients we have served,” said Kline. “It's one of the support services we offer.”

The hospice offers 13 months of bereavement programs to any family members and friends of patients who have passed away while under hospice care, said Matthew Binkewicz, bereavement/pastoral care coordinator at the hospice. Services include one-on-one counseling with families to help them with grief and loss, support groups, educational seminars and Camp Hearts Ahoy, a bereavement camp for children.

The service brought 102 people to the chapel - twice last year's attendance, said Kline. It is also open to the public, so even those whose loved ones did not die while under hospice care can participate.

“We want to offer them comfort and support through song, prayer and readings,” said Binkewicz. “It's a reminder that their loved one mattered. Even though their loved one died ... spiritually, they remain alive in our minds and hearts.”

Binkewicz said that hearing the name of a deceased loved one said aloud can be therapeutic. During a portion of the service, 138 names of those who were under care at the hospice and died this year were recited. Then the public had a chance to say the names of non-hospice loved ones who have died.

Music was provided by the Lonsky family - Stephen, Barbara and Stephanie - and various prayers and inspirational speeches were read to grieving individuals. Speakers tried to get those in mourning to come to terms with their emotions.

“The whole of our inward being aches with unshed tears,” said Rev. Marsha Gibbons, of the Owasco Reformed Church. “Those who express and own their feelings are happier, healthier and even live longer.”

Many of the visitors at this year's service participate in the event year after year, said Binkewicz.

Jeannine Larose, of Auburn, said her mother passed away in 2003. Larose is now the vice chair for the Friends of Hospice Committee, a group within the office of the Hospice of the Finger Lakes. She spoke about how her mother received the best care from the hospice.

“It gives me comfort to know she had such good care when she was in such pain,” said Larose. “(The hospice) got me through a lot.”

Cheryl Gabak, of Auburn, is another annual visitor to the service. Her father passed away 18 years ago, she said, and she has come to the service every year since. She volunteers at the hospice and is now on the board of the Friends of Hospice Committee.

“My mom was older ... she was able to come to the service, participate and see others in the same situation as she was,” said Gabak. “It's nice especially this time of year.”

Homemade cookies, cider and coffee were offered to visitors at the conclusion of the service. Paula Kott, who organized the reception, said it was a good opportunity for people to talk informally after the service. Nurses had the chance to see the families of those they had cared for and families could gather and share experiences, Kott said. She said that often, an individual's friends and family stop talking about the death of a loved one and that person still needs to express their feelings.

The need to grieve also extends to children, said Kott. She recalled a time when a little boy asked if he could say his dog's name aloud at the service.

Norma Olcott, a nurse and case manager at the hospice, said the service is not only for family and friends of those who have died, but also for their caretakers.

“It helps me heal,” she said. “When you're seeing people every day, you don't have the time to stop and grieve.”

Staff writer Kelly Voll can be reached at 253-5311 ext. 239 or kelly.voll@lee.net