POPLAR RIDGE - Two natives of Pakistan shared their culture with an audience at the Friends Meeting House in Poplar Ridge Friday night.

Beenish Javed, 25, a business student from Islamabad, comes from an army background. She attended different coeducational army schools in Pakistan, as her father was stationed at a new location every two years.

Syed M. Ali, 23, comes from an upper middle class family in the town of Skardu in northern Pakistan, bordering India and China.

A hotel and restaurant management student, Ali attended Skardu schools until 10th grade, then

finished in Islamabad.

Both are currently Fulbright exchange students from Tompkins Community College.

During the presentation, Javed focused on marriage and the family, while Syed described the geography of Pakistan, particularly the spectacular location of his hometown, known as “Little Tibet,” in the mountains.

The average Pakistani can't afford to send his children to private schools, Javed said. Public schools are cheaper, but the standard of education is better in private schools. In most schools, girls do not attend the same schools as boys.

Syed explained the green and white colors of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan flag - a green field for the Muslim people and a white star and crescent for the minorities.

Urdu is the main language in Pakistan, but Syed also speaks the dialect of his town, Balte, as well as English and German.

“I have pretty big plans for the future,” he said. “I prefer to live in Skardu, the most peaceful place in Pakistan, having a very low rate of crime or any kind of violence. That's why it's the major tourist attraction in Pakistan.” He wants to become a decision maker in his country.

Javed speaks English and Urdu. She would love to teach, she said, probably in a business school in Pakistan. She also wants to become a part of television media in Pakistan.

“The Pakistani army plays an important role in the political system,” she said, but she didn't think this should be. “An army's function is to defend a country, not to run it.” She said Pakistan had four military dictators. When Musharraf came to power, the stock market crashed in her country and her family lost their home. Now, she said they have begun to recover.

Javed, also from an upper middle class family, lives with her father, a retired Army officer. Her three brothers are well educated and her mother is a housewife.

“Every president should be able to stay five years,” she said, “but the army interferes. A lot of our money goes to the war in Afghanistan because our army assists the U.S. there.”

She presented a different view of the status of women in Pakistan, saying that her's is a family-based culture.

“Love and the bonds of family are very important,” she said. “I see very strong problems in the U.S. linked to the family structure.”

She described a typical Pakistani wedding, noting that the girl will go and live with her husband's family, and that the extended family all like to live together.

“The mother's status is very important in the family,” she said. “My father, in the end, listens to her. I listen to her. I'm scared of her.”

Women don't prefer to work because they believe the woman's job is to raise a child.

Javed said times are changing and young women are getting their education first, then marrying.

“I'm getting an education,” she said, “because I want to be able to support my family if anything happens. If I have children, I'll give them my attention. It's important to have the affection and closeness of a mother.

“It was a culture shock for me to see people with divorced parents here,” she said. “In Pakistan, if he's cheating on you, you go to your mother-in-law and she will probably take your side.”

She liked the freedom she has here to go places alone.

“It's not easy for a woman to be out alone,” she said. “She must be protected by her father, brother or husband. Women are highly respected and protected.”

Staff writer Kathleen Barran can be reached at 253-5311 ext. 238 or kathleen.barran@lee.net