“O, wind, if winter comes, can spring be far behind?”

- Percy Shelley

First off, before I even begin, I want to apologize for dropping the ball here and letting the deadline slide. I know I made it my responsibility to set the schedules so I am here to tell you now, it's time to take down your Christmas trees.

This goes for all the decorations, as well. I know some of you may be under the impression that just because there are red bulbs on the light strings that it's OK to keep them up until Valentine's Day.

Well, I'm sad to report that after a long and exhausting research effort, I have come to find out that that idea is just simply not true, and I'm sorry if I led you to think otherwise.

Secondly, I have news for all those under the impression that just because Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow a week or so ago, that we will be getting six more weeks of winter.

Well, apparently this information is a bit skewed as well. Contrary to popular folklore, the truth is if that little rat sees his shadow, it only means it is daylight out. And if he doesn't see anything then he hasn't opened his eyes yet.

On the plus side, though, during my hours of study I found an interesting clause that allows us to string lights on groundhogs.

So, perhaps we could just take the strings off the house and staple them to the gopher. The way I see it, it is a win-win opportunity.

I won't have to see blinking lights in February and the groundhog can be turned into a disco ball which, in my opinion, is a much more unique gift to give on Valentine's day than just plain old chocolates and roses.

Sorry to bring this advice so late, but let's be honest, what you got her yesterday probably wasn't that good anyway, so this is your chance to make amends.

Now, while I'm on the subject of more winter, can I get an explanation as to why, at the time of this writing, there's no snow falling down?

It's like nature has decided instead to do a “Best of” this week in case we were getting bored with just shoveling.

In the past week we've had sunshine, rain, and wind that is blowing like it's auditioning for a scene in the Wizard of Oz.

Not that I'm a big fan of snow mind you. I mean, sure it's a pain to drive in, but at least it's clean looking. That's one thing I don't like about all this thawing business.

The only time I enjoy anything slushy is when it's cherry flavored.

But I guess I shouldn't complain too much because before I know it there will be a foot of powder on the ground and I'll be scraping my windshield again.

Maybe I should just take a page out of Phil's notebook and learn to stay indoors until spring.

Auburn native Bradley Molloy's column appears here, each Sunday, in The Citizen. He can be reached at lovonian@hotmail.com