“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.”

- John Lennon

Let me ask you something. Has anyone ever told you the expression that “you're only as old as you feel?” And then, right after they say it, do you ever want to beat them upside their heads? I know I do.

Usually the person dispensing the advice is about 15 years younger than you and can still wake up in the morning without hearing any creaking coming from their backs. This person also probably knows the words to every Britney Spears song, yet has no idea who the Beatles were. I don't mean to wipe my feet on the threshold of this new calendar, but I always have mixed feelings come January, because not only does it mark the beginning of a new year but starts the countdown to my birthday, as well.

You see, in a mere five days I will be turning 37. That's right, that little toe-head from way back when is having a heck of a time covering up his gray.

Now, don't be fooled, I'm not unhappy about having another birthday. I mean, it does beat the alternative. And I am glad of all the great benefits being an adult grants me. I have facial hair now. I can stay up as late as I want. If I want to cross the street I don't have to hold someone's hand. Also, I can get into R rated movies whenever I feel like it.

Sure, there are some drawbacks. I no longer get an allowance. If I take my dad out for coffee, I'm the one who's buying. And if something goes bump in the night it's now my job to get up and check things out.

So, seeing as though age is what's on my mind, I figure it's appropriate to take a moment to try and illustrate the wisdom that has come with these 37 years.

I've already decided to not be one of those happy-go-lucky types who enjoys comparing life to a roller coaster. That group loves to show how similar the two are because they both have ups and downs. Well, I beg to differ.

For starters, you know what to expect on a roller coaster. You see the hills coming and you actually get excited about the drops; not so much in real life. Also when you go to the amusement park, you pay before you get on the ride. In life, you pay for it much later.

About the only thing the two have in common is that if you're going fast enough, you'll end up puking.

No, I think life is more like waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom without turning on the lights. If you're lucky, you make it to the bowl with no problems. Other times, you stub your toe along the way. And, as in life, you're just trying to get some relief before the lid gets lowered.

Auburn native Bradley Molloy's column appears here, each

Sunday, in The Citizen.

He can be reached at lovonian@hotmail.com