" Any suggestions for whether to take a 2.5 year old child to a fireworks show ... I'm thinking either she's going to totally love it or be totally freaked out by the loud noise. Maybe if we tell her enough ahead of time that fireworks are really fun to look at but that she should be ready for them to be really loud, she'll have a good time. Just not sure. "

" Sorry to hear about your puppy problems. We recently adopted not 1 but 2 kittens. Adopted one from an animal rescue last week and wouldn't you know that another one showed up on my parents' doorstep. Both are so cute and playful, and my little guy loves them, but he doesn't quite realize yet how much bigger he is than them. Even though I'm not a huge animal lover(my husband is the animal lover in the family) I can't help but love the smile that they bring to my son's face. To see him that happy--what more can a mom ask for? : ) "

" The dog story has an unfortunate ending --- no, Ella didn't repeat the mistake made by her father when he was 2 years old and accidentally sit on the puppy (my accident was with the guinea pig).

But upon bringing the new pooch home, we quickly realized that despite the fact that this particular mixed breed is generally considered good for people with allergies, one of us quickly began to have a strong allergic reaction to the doggie's presence. We had to bring her back.

Ella definitely loved the puppy, but she handled the return pretty well. She's at the point now where we can explain things to her in a straight-forward way. We just told her that the puppy was going to have to go back to be with her brothers and sisters because she was making one of us not feel well.

Maybe there is a dog in our future, but this wasn't the one.

Now back to focusing on potty training ... "

" I just got word that we officially have the new addition to our family -- here we go ....


I'll try to provide a report on how the first night went tomorrow morning. "

" It looks like we're going to finally stop delaying the inevitable and bring a new dog into the household. As some of you following this blog recall, we lost our beloved dog Morgan to cancer in the fall, and while we always knew we would have a new dog someday, we've been very cautious about bringing one into the house at a time when it will seem manageable for all of us. We've come to the realization that we can always come up with a reason not to get a dog -- but ultimately we just should do it and move forward. The fact that Ella is constantly walking around the house and yard with strings, belts, etc. talking about her imaginary doggie is a signal to make this happen, too. That said, I'm sure there will be challenges. Any advice out there? "

" When all this Tween Dora stuff 1st hit the scene a couple months ago, I was under the impression that little Dora would still explore on her show and would still be available for the younger kids. I didn't think they were messing around with her aspect of the character at all. I also didn't think the new Dora would even have a TV show, it was all just marketable items... but I really don't know. Having 2 Doras at all may not work out.

And I agree with you on the deciding factor being the way she carries herself. Boy crazy and vain are not qualities society's kids really needs any more of a push toward these days. I'd hate to see a character as wholesome as Dora become just another Bratz doll. Oye. "

" Probably "disgusted" was too strong of a word. "Disappointed" would be the better description.

I agree that she doesn't look like a "slut" or "tramp" with the new look, although someone mentioned a display they saw in a store recently in which the new Dora was striking a model's pose, which I don't think is necessary.

I guess a big question for me going forward is what they do with the character. I just hope her character doesn't spend her time worrying about boys and her appearance.

My biggest problem is that Dora has always been a show that appealed to pre-school children mostly, and this move was made to try to sell her to an older "tween" audience without any regard to the pre-schoolers who are now watching her. But the "tweens" are a lot more influential at getting their parents to buy all the promotional products so I think this is being done mostly to make money.

Kids grow and move on from the characters they followed at younger ages. Why can't we leave characters like Dora alone for future generations of pre-schoolers to learn from? "

" as a side note: The "c'mon people..." reference was aimed at those articles where they were lableing the older Dora a tramp... not at you Our Little Boss. Just out of curiosity though, what disgusts you about the whole thing? "

" This is absolutely happening at school. He's not alone long enough at home to do this stuff. Evidently, this happened at the beginning of the school year, since then his "girlfriend" has kissed him 2 other times, both at school, but "no tongue, mom. God".

Ugh. I have been struggling for days with how to handle this. I haven't done nor said anything yet as my 1st reaction was to ground him or print off pics of tongue cancer victims and tell him "SEE? This is what you get from french kissing!" lol. I think I'll try the "How did it make you feel" route. I'm hoping (being so young and not yet hormonally driven) it felt "weird" at best. At that time, I think I might try the "experimenting is normal and being curious is healthy, but you are very young and there's a lot to this you might not understand. Maybe you should slow down and save some of the grown up things for when you're a grown up".

But I just don't know.

As far as Dora. I think a lot of people are over reacting to this. So what if they are marketing a "Tween Dora"? I've only seen a few pics, but it's not like she's all tramped out. And as long as she maintains the innocent, smart explorer personna... perhaps there will actually be something for 8yo little girls to associate with that doesn't encourage them to make out on the play grounds. From what I just saw when I googled it, its the commentary about her being a "slut" or "hoed-up" that are WAY more offensive than lengthening her hair or traiding the shorts for a skirt. C'mon people. Let's talk about some of the "after school specials" on MTV before we start Dora bashing. "

" Wow -- it's stories like these that make me truly cherish the fact that Ella is 2.5 years old; I know we'll figure out a way to handle these kinds of issues as she grows up, but it's scary to think about.

One slight tangent that comes to my mind. Have you heard about the image makeover that's being given to Dora the Explorer? Just Goodle "Dora the Explorer makeover" and see what it's all about. I personally am disgusted by it. "

" 3rd grade???? seriously? well, that explains why by the time they reach 9th grade they are practically making babies in the hallways. And they don't seem to care when teachers say something to them. No joke, at my school 2 students got caught having sex in a very remote corner of the school. Have you no shame or class or respect for yourselves? you are so right mamaD, everything they see is so oversexed and violent. And it seems like while you can protect them and try to show them what is appropriate, that influence of "everyone else is doing it/has it/saw it" is a powerful thing.

And have you tried to buy little girl clothes that don't look like they should be on a street corner? it's tough. Going back to the 3rd graders french kissing--is this happening at school? in someone's home? If it's school I'd definitely be concerned about why these kids are alone long enough for this to happen. "

" OK. Here's one for ya... it has come to my attention within the past 12 hours that 3rd graders, EIGHT/NINE YEAR OLDS, are "french kissing". Once the initial shell shock of this tidbit of knowledge wore off and the risk of mom having a stroke faded, i started really thinking about a concept SO foriegn to me when I was 8/9 a little deeper. I realized that these kids and their french kissing adventures (my son says most of his friends have also already had this experience) are NOT hormonally driven. These kids are NOT "horny" at 8 years old. So where does it come from? Movies? TV? Radio?

Yes. It does. I have been single for many years, my son has not learned this by watching me, that's for sure. But... He DID learn what masturbation was from the 1st Transformers movie. I know what for a fact. Daredevil quickly replaced Spiderman as his fave movie a couple years ago... and they are straight up naked in that movie. Any of you ever seen Drake and Josh or the Naked Brothers? Some hormonally charged young boys, right there. Any of you listen to 107.9 ever? Hear songs like "Like it like a lollipop"? Any of you ever seen the game Grand Theft Auto? Where your missions consist of drug runs, picking up hookers, watching the car rock while you have sex with them, then you kick them out of the car, beat them up, take there money and run them over... complete with bloody tire tracks.

Fact is, times have changed. I didn't learn about french kissing from Bugs and Daffy, that's for sure. Atari taught me nothing about hookers. Although Jethro Tull caused me to question organized religion by the time I was 10, it certainly did not advise me to like anything lollipop style.

Here's my question/problem/crisis: How do you adequately explain to a YOUNG child of 9 about the reality of what he's doing/the path he's on without terrifying him, making anything sound dirty, making him feel ashamed or simply talking over his head? Especially when his media world is straight up SATURATED with this stuff?

THIS terrifies me more than anything else, to be honest. He is too young to grasp the bigger picture here. Soon, hormones WILL start flowing, and these kids are more educated and more experienced at 8-ish than I was at 14... than most of us were at 14. I don't have any idea how to tackle the birds and the bees with a 3rd grader... and if he's already french kissing, well, the next step is like 3rd base, isn't it? Oh. My. God. "

" Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there ... the weather might not be the greatest here in central New York, but it's still a wonderful day to relax with family. Enjoy! "

" mamaD wrote on Jun 9, 2009 10:14 AM
in my opinion you are doing the right measures with your son.
I have 3 older children 27(boy),
24 (boy), 22 (girl) and a 10 yr old (girl)!
I also raised my sister from 10-18 yrs.
(my mom died when she was 6)

you have to be ahead of them at all times! there will be times they will 'hate you' and yet times they will need you immediately.
I also met their friends, met parents of friends or they were simply NOT allowed to visit friends homes.

in the moment-NOW-your child will think you are nuts, overprotecting, or simply mean!
when he is grown, he will THANK you for being so caring, always insuring his safety, and it will aid him when he has kids of his own!

my 24 yr old son has 2 kids now, he is at times worse than me, and he used to call me the 'gustapo'--lol
right now his kids are only 2 and 3!
NOW he realizes the responsibility of parenting, IT NEVER ENDS!

as I tell him--be consistant! dont throw threats you have no intention of keeping.
Always let them know the rules ahead of time,
WHY there is a rule,
and what the punishment will be.
Give only ONE warning, then follow thru! "

" A small bit of good news to share on the unfortunate story that the Child Care Council of the Finger Lakes is closing its doors. A neighboring agency out of Syracuse is taking over, and by the looks of things, this agency really wants to work with the community to have the smoothest transition and provide the best services possible. Here's a link to the story on our Web site:
CLICK HERE TO SEE STORY "

" Interesting story that came across our wires .. I'll put the first few graphs here and link to the full piece since it's pretty long. Just thought I'd pass along since I know milk is such a big part of many families nutritional gameplan for their children:

Here's the URL:
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/health/bal-te.fo.milk07jun07,0,735920.story

Here's the first few paragraphs of the story:

By: Laura Vozzella(c) 2009
The Baltimore Sun

<

Patty Sullivan is stumped by the dairy case. One kind of milk promises to make her children smarter. Another claims to come from healthier cows. Unable to sort all that out, she reaches for conventional Costco milk.

"I find it very confusing," said Sullivan, of Catonsville, Md., who picks up five gallons a week for the preschool she runs. "You need a research degree to find out the differences. And is it really that much better for you?"

Not long ago, consumers had to ponder only one thing before hefting a gallon jug into the shopping cart: How much fat did they want? Then, more than a decade ago, organic started showing up in traditional supermarkets.

Today, the world of milk is even more rarefied -- and more confusing, because the milk trucks are moving more quickly than the science. Researchers can't even agree if milk "does a body good," much less which kind is best. While consumers can have their pick of more milk varieties than ever before, they also have more questions about a product considered to be a cornerstone of childhood nutrition -- one that each American, on average, consumes at a rate of 24 gallons a year.

There's milk from grass-fed cows, said to be more nutritious and better for the environment. Milk with added omega-3 fatty acids, touted as boosting brain function. Nonhomogenized milk that fans are willing to shake before drinking -- in glass bottles, no less -- on the premise that their bodies won't absorb as much fat if it hasn't been blasted into tiny bits.

Ultra-pasteurized. Low-pasteurized. Unpasteurized "raw" milk. With soy, rice and almond milks suddenly mainstream fare, the dairy case has become more crowded than a feedlot. And none of it is cheap.

While Sullivan spent about $2.25 a gallon for milk at Costco, Wendy Johnson, a special-education teacher, pays more than twice as much for organic. She shells out even more -- about $14 a gallon -- for individual, juice box-like containers of organic milk for when the family's on the go.

Johnson figures organic is best for her 5-year-old daughter, but she has some doubts, precisely because of those handy "shelf-stable" boxes that don't need refrigeration.

"If you can put it on the shelf, what's left in it?" Johnson wonders. "

" Terrifying, you bet. As my son is almost 9, I do allow him to venture the 1/2 block up to his friend's house, the other house he's allowed at is a little further away (you know, like, 4 more houses up) but I know the parents there and feel pretty secure... although, I do see their kids running the streets unsupervised all the time.

The hardest part is, for me, explaining to him why his friends can run the streets until 10pm most nights, unaccountable to anyone, but he has to be in by 7:30-8:00 and I demand to know where he is at all times. He is strictly NOT allowed in ANYone's house without my prior consent. Period. He's been grounded for that one already. Falling back on the "I don't care what 'johnny' does. I'm not 'johnny's' mother" feels like a cop out and I remember how much I hated it when my parents said that stuff to me.

My son is a good kid, though. I've caught him getting wrapped up in some of that unsavory behavior that a few of the neighbor boys get into, but he always gets caught (I hope lol), and mom always brings it to his attention with specific examples of why he shouldn't continue acting in these ways. 9 times out of 10, tears of embarassment follow these discussions.

My advice? Stay involved. Stay on top of what's going on with your children. Over bearing mom's raise good kids. :) Kidding a bit there, but you know what I mean. These days, my son stays out of trouble making behavior (well... most... he is still just a kid and sometimes bad behavior is just toooo tempting) simply out of sheer terror that "mom's watching and she yells at me... AND my friends"! LOL... it works though, and if "mom's voice" becomes his conscience... well, personally, I'm ok with that. "

" mamaD--it seems terrifying to me, as the mother of a less than 2 year old. I see what my high school students are like and I pray that my son does not end up like most of them. There are a couple of students who look at and I think "now that is the kind of kid I want my son to be like" or "that is the type of girl I hope my son dates". But most of them scare the ever lovin' out of me. I know that I will be like you, that mom who keeps tabs and prefers the kids at your house. How do people handle the whole letting your kids go to other people's houses? I am very paranoid about who my child will be exposed to, what they will be exposed to...you get my point. ???? "

" All this talk about kids unsupervised. This is an issue in my neighborhood recently. I'll tell you, my 9 year old is allowed out alone but only if he is in my yard or at one of two other houses, both within eye/ear shot. I'd never let him down to the school without me at this age. Ever. And if the kids are playing at our house (preferred)... I am one of those horribly embarassing mom's yelling out the window things like "I better not hear that word again" or "get out of the road" or "stop throwing rocks"!!! At this point, I think my son is mortified, but as he gets older and is allowed more priviledges, I hope that he will see the so-called "hoodlums" and not want to engage in that behavior. And he won't be allowed to roam freely for several more years, and even then, only with specific destinations and time frames set in effect. You can only do the best you can do. Then... you set them free and hope it's enough. Scary, eh? "

" I would still carry a 'copy' of the childs birth certificate, and vaccinations...best to be prepared just in case.
becareful what you pack in the carry-on bag..especially liquids or medicines.

as OLB said CALL the airlines..the rules seem to change weekly. "

" We flew a couple of times this past winter and here's what we experienced:

1. No ID was needed for the child -- she had to go through security like all of us, but they only asked for our IDs. She did get a boarding pass as we bought a seat for her.

2. Jet Blue, US Air and United all allowed strollers and carseats and they didn't count as carryons as long as the carseat was actually strapped into the plane seat for her to use and as long as we gate-checked the stroller. They put a green tag on the stroller at the gate and then you pick it up when you get off the plane.

It's still probably a good idea just to call the airline ahead of time and double-check, though, because things seem to change in the airline industry all the time.

Hope this helps -- good luck! "

" Has anyone flown with a little one lately? I'm just wondering what kind of identification, if any, we will need for our little one, as we go through the security checkpoint at the airport(we are staying domestic, nothing overseas). Also, we are bringing a carseat on the plane, and will be checking a small stroller. Does that count against us as far as a carry-on? None of the airline websites I've looked on are crystal clear. Thanks!!! "

" There have been many times when I've found myself rushing my son along because we are "in a hurry". But then I stop, realizing that I'm not going to have these moments forever. If he wants to take an extra 30 seconds and stare at the big trucks and busses that he loves so much, why not let him? Going for a walk is very time consuming if we let him walk, rather than riding in a stroller, because he is constantly turning around to look at things that have gone by or to look at where certain sounds were coming from. That curiosity is so refreshing!!! I get frustrated with myself for being impatient and 'always in a hurry', while at the same time I complain about the lack of curiosity in my high school students. I hope that my son will continue to be as currious at 17 years old as he is right now at 17 months. "

" It's hard to believe it's been 20 years since the release of "All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten" by Robert Fulghum. That booked popped into my head yesterday as we were visiting the zoo in the Syracuse.

While exploring the zoo, Ella reminded me of an important lesson -- life is not always a race. As we were going from exhibit to exhibit, Ella would become fascinated by certain animals and just want to watch them for what seemed like forever. Our urge as adults is often to see the animal for a minute or two, perhaps glance at the exhibit sign and move on to the next one. There is an entire zoo to see, right? But it hit me while Ella was not interested in leaving the big-horned goat exhibit that there's no good reason to rush through a zoo -- or an art museum, a nature trail, an amusement park or anything else. She eventually was ready to move on to other exhibits. We took the general approach of giving her time to soak in what really interested her, and it made for a very enjoyable day -- for all of us. "

" Lots of good discussion (and horror stories for those of us with toddlers to look forward when our children get older).

What are everyone's thoughts on the age when it's OK to let the children out and about on their own to play -- I see plenty of kids from I'd say 8 to 14 clearly without parents at parks and playgrounds. To be honest, I know at a certain point in my childhood, we had some freedom to ride our bikes to the school or go from one neighborhood friends house to another during the day. But I can't rememember how old I was when this started happening. Any thoughts on what's appropriate -- and what ground rules need to be established once they are given some freedom? "

" teacher1: a carry over from 'two cents' a few days back, I agree as my daughter has ONE of THOSE in her class, the whole class suffers!
Older parents usually are too tired to 'deal with it' or simply spoil the child beyond belief.
My first child was born was I was 20. My last, and the only one home since she was 6, was born when I was 37.

there was a time when I noticed she was turning bratty, expecting everything for doing nothing..alot due to her being spoiled. Being the only child home --with our lives beng more settled, it's easier to spend money and take her places.
This also was a practice of her older siblings---spoil the child!
no one meant it to be harmful, which it was only at home, at school she was the perfect child!

However, before it got out of hand, MEAN 'ole mom put her foot down!
there were some screaming fits at stores when she couldn't 'get something from EVERY store' which were followed by 'time-outs' when we got home.

very true PARENTS need not be in denial.

even at 10yrs I give her a warning, then I start counting (5 is timeout/or lose something she cherishes like her Wii) most family members are amazed I hardly ever get past the number 3..and she is doing what I asked!

she also recieves alot of praise for 'good things' like her straight A's thru the whole school year with excellant behavior!
this will also cost me 40.00 (5.00 per A) plus a bonus for the whole year, which I haven't decided the prize yet! "

" As a teacher it is incredibly frustrating when parents are in denial/oblivious/don't care about their child/ren's bad behavior. It truly ties a teacher and administrator's hands when they don't have the support of the parents. I know that there are people who might argue that the teacher just needs to be better about discipline, but there is a big difference between dealing with a student who is difficult once in a while and a student who is CONSTANTLY disrupting the classroom. You begin to feel more like a prison guard, simply trying to prevent chaos, rather than any actual teaching getting done. And it does affect the education of all of the students in the class. There is a scary pattern of enabling going on. It frightens me to think that these kids are going to constantly be bailed out by their parents and the teachers who enable them. Feff100--this boy in your child's class--i don't doubt that when he is older and gets caught selling/using drugs, robbing a bank, attacking his girlfriend, that his parents will claim "he's just being a boy." I know I sound cynical, but after having taught for 10 years, I've seen this a lot and it makes my job ten times harder than it already is. I know I"m making some generalizations that are probably going to upset some people, but GENERALLY speaking, it seems to be the parents who are significantly younger and the parents who are significantly older who tend to be more enabling. The younger ones never got a chance to be kids themselves and are soooo terrified that their kids won't like them. The older ones...I'm not sure. Guilt? When my son is school aged, and God forbid he is a holy terror in school, I really hope that I will be able to be objective enough to listen to both sides and not take either the teacher or his version at face value. "

" OLB: the most we can do is hope by that age we have trained our children to be respectful of others and their property, to use their manners, and to
always THINK first:
ASK themselves, is their behavior/actions/or words something we parents would allow them to do in front of us??? what would mom say? what would dad say?

of course they will test the waters, but that will be occasionally not repetitive.

years ago (1988) there was a set of books out on behaviors for the wee ones to understand.
such as: a childrens book about LYING
by Joy Berry
there is a whole series: being bossy, being mean, being messy, being rude, being wasteful, disobeying, snooping, stealing, teasing, whining, etc.

check your local library or ebay! "

" Let me start by saying that my children are FAR from perfect. That being said, I don't know what is going on with parents turning a blind eye to thier children's behavioral problems.
There is a child in my son's 3rd grade class that is a terror. He is always touching the other kids,- slapping lightly, not hurting, just annoying. This child whispers things to the other kids to make them mad and then when the other kids react, they get in trouble.
I had heard about this child from my 9 year old son. But I never dreamed he was telling me the entire truth until I saw it with my own eyes. This poor boy could hardly contain himself- he was pushing and tapping the other kids, he would say snide comments to them under his breath to get a rise out of them. It was completely amazing to me! But it also seemed that the young man in question could not control himself.
I talked to a few other parents and found out this boy had been moved from class room to class room at least 3 times this school year because he was so disruptive! One mother told me that his parents don't think there is anything wrong with the way he behaves and chalk it up to "he's a boy". Well, he's more than "just a boy" and he needs help - be it counseling or medicine to help control his impulses.
How do parents do that? Just stick thier heads in the sand and pretend that thier child is an angel and that all kids act like that? Its not fair to that little boy to have his parents not help him.
And consequently, is not fair that my child and others in his class have to put up with his shenanigans because the parents won't admit thier child is not perfect and that he needs help. "

" Last week we had some coverage in The Citizen of an attack on ducks in Hoopes Park by some apparently unsupervised children -- the story generated a lot of response about parental responsibility when kids do seemingly unthinkable things, like stone small animals to death.

It's sad to say, but the story did not surprise me, having witnessed children in the park and at the nearby Herman Ave. Elementary school playground. It's quite common these days to see groups of unsupervised kids -- perhaps around 10 at the low age of the spectrum and 14 at the high end -- running wild. To be fair, a lot of it is inocent fun, but we also hear our share of unthinkable language. Especially at the playground, these kids will run, push and jump without any awareness, it seems, of the much smaller children playing on the same equipment.

On times when it has gotten to the point of being too much to take, we have said something to the kids -- "Hey, you need to stop talking like that" -- or "Please watch out for the little ones." What's interesting is that much of the time when it comes to that, the kids actually do tone things down. They're a little embarrassed, too.

I know that I'm in for a whole different set of challenges when I become a parent of child at that age, so I don't profess to have the answers about how to deal with children at that age.

But given the recent news of the ducks and the things I've seen, I'd love to hear some thoughts on the subject. "

" OLB: with my kids I used more of their knowledge level than the word NO.

example: if they understand what a boo-boo is and how it hurts, I would say
'ouch you gave the wall a boo-boo with your crayon, walls don't want a boo-boo, but papers loves crayons, paper and crayons hug all the time'

you have to replace the NO with a positive reaction. be consistant and soon you will be amazed at how they want to aid paper and crayons in their hug!
use NO for serious harmful actions, very loud and stern! "

" OLB: Ella is ready to be potty-trained.
the key to the issue is to take one full week off! Do nothing by potty-train!
as you are preparing for that week,prepare with FAV snacks especially drinks, cute big girl undies of her FAV character if possible, and stickers or whatever your reward plan is.
of course sing the 'pee pee in the potty' song!

also right now in the AM when she first wakes have mommy go potty and put the 'big girl' on her potty chair nearby. This will ease her into your 'week' quicker.

I was putting my daughter on the potty every AM since she was 6 months old..she was NOT afraid of it when her 'week' was due. "

" Do you sometimes feel like 50 percent of the conversation you have with your toddler involves telling her not to do something? Don't throw that? Don't use your crayons on the wall? Don't bang the furniture with a spatula?

It's can be frustrating to feel like "Dr. No" all the time, but it's amazing how quickly Ella learns from these moments. I think kids are just programmed at this age to experiment with everything they can think of in order to find out what is and isn't allowed -- it's our job as parents to be there so they can learn.

Then again, there are some things they probably never learn completely. Ella took a frightening tumble after leaning back in a chair over the weekend -- she was fine, didn't even bump her head, but was quite startled. That's when my mother -- a retired first grade teacher -- and my mother-in-law -- a retired seventh-grade teacher -- both said they constantly had students who despite numerous warnings would wind up on their backs in the classroom because they lost control of their backward-leaning chair.

Maybe Ella learned the lesson early enough to not repeat it when she's a teenager. "

" It is extremely hard to know what is going on when they can't articulate what is wrong. and when they are sick and you can't do anything to help them--that is the absolute worst feeling in the world. we went through that last week. our little one was running a high fever--104--for about 4 days. took him to the doctor earlier in the week, even had bloodwork done, and everything came back normal. still running the fever. the doctor kept telling us it was a virus that had to "run it's course" as I'm trying not to think about my baby's brain boiling away. He's much better now, but when they are sick and there's not much else to do but wait it out, it's a crappy feeling. Am I being overly dramatic? : )

And of course, while he was sick he was rather "babied". so now we are trying to get him back on track, regular schedule, no more bottles(Mommy is weak sometimes). Thank goodness for our daycare provider. Having that routine to go back to has made things a lot easier. "

" One of the toughest things about parenting kids in the early years is figuring out what's going on when they're not being themselves. Even when they have a decent early-child vocabulary, they can't articulate well what's bothering them.

Are they sick and need to go the doctor? Are they working on some more teeth and could use some Tylenol? Are they simply going through a behavioral phase that needs some redirecting?

We've been dealing with that to a certain extent lately and I honestly think it's been a combination of all of those things. She's been to the doctor a couple times in the past few weeks, and we've gone from treating a sinus infection to now focusing on the likelihood that she has some allergies (which makes sense given the medical history of her parents). At the same time, she's definitely struggling to sit still at meal time lately (by that I mean, she won't stay in her chair -- she gets urges to get out play with the dining room curtains), and we're working hard to get her back into a better habit. But we've also been wondering if her reluctance to sit down and eat has been a symptom of something bothering her stomach.

I think the lesson I'm learning is that you have to always be open to possibilities about what's going on with them -- most importantly, you have be very observant about what they're doing and going through. We don't need to call the doctor every day but we also need to realize that sometimes they do need to go there even if we have a hunch it could go away on its own. "

" Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there .. now stop reading this blog, relax and enjoy your day!

But please come back to read on Monday :) "

" Thanks for the advice. That's pretty much what we've been doing. Our daycare provider tells the kids "kind hands" when they hit and shows them how to touch their friends gently. He definitely understands that. As for tweens and teens, all i can say is God help you. : ) Seriously, as a teacher I see it every day. All I know is that, somewhere boys think it's okay to hit girls and push them around, calling them nasty names, and become very possessive when they are dating, and then harassing when they break up. I know it sounds like a bad Lifetime movie or after school special but it happens very frequently and at younger and younger ages. Please please make sure teenage boys know that this is not how you treat a woman. Okay, I'm getting down from my soapbox now! Happy Friday! "

" Hitting is a normal part of developement, especially for a little one who hasn't learned how to express feelings with words so much. Be patient, tell him it's not nice to hit, explain about hurting... if it becomes worse (you know, windmill effect with the arms) putting him on your lap and holding his hands, talking calmly until he calms down works. He's a little too small for "time outs" at this point, but I found this worked with my boy when he got older. If it becomes a full blown tantrum, the best thing with my son was to literally step over him, TELL him that you don't understand him and then ignore him until HE calms on his own. As long as he's not hurting himself in the process of tantruming, it'll work. He's looking for a response... when there isn't one... he will find another way to communicate his needs.

What I need is Tween Boy advice, you guys. Mouthy, independent, too smart for their own good boy tweens! Help me! LOL "

" Good to hear from you, plasmatronix. Be sure to share some of your observations on six-month-old child raising when you get a chance, too.

"Super Nanny" certainly offers plenty of practical advice -- and probably for a lot of parents, seeing some of the cases that the super nanny takes on makes us all put our daily challenges in perspective.

One thing that I think we as parents are fortunate to have in these times is a wide variety of information sources through the mass media. Whether it's TV shows like that one, or Web sites or parenting magazines, there's tons of places to research information and just browse to pick up interesting ideas.

The down side is that we can go overboard with our research (especially), and sometimes cause all kinds of needless worry for ourselves. "

" I haven't lived through toddler years with a child yet (my baby is only 6 months old), so my only first hand knowledge of dealing with the terrible twos is through my nephews. I remember when they went through stages of yelling "no!" over and over. One of the biggest things to help seemed to be keeping them on a predictable schedule. Being proactive and heading off meltdowns before they occur can help. Maybe making a set time for the child to rest or nap would help, making sure they have a snack *before* s/he gets too hungry, etc.

A good place for tips on teaching young children appropriate behavior is the Super Nanny TV show. She uses behavior modification principles that research has shown to be effective. As part of my graduate studies in psychology we were actually assigned to watch Super Nanny as "homework" for our behavior mod class. That has probably been one of the best/easiest assignments of my college career! Anyway...Jo (the nanny) applies behavior mod principles very consistently and teaches families how to use them. It's a good show to pick up some tips! "

" If anyone has some thoughts on the challenges that Teacher1 is describing, please offer them here.

I guess the first thing I'd say is to be sure to discuss these issues with your pediatrician -- they know a ton about child development and behavioral issues and can probably give you some good guidance.

My guess is that you don't have anything big to worry about -- but it is something that you should address. I can remember Ella getting a little more prone to frustration around that age, as well, and I think the lack of vocabulary at that stage of development is a big source of why they might act out in a physical way. We just made it very clear to her (through our tone, our use of timeout, etc.) that hitting, being destructive was not an acceptable way to act and it eventually got through her head.

What do other readers here have to say? "

" I don't know about the terrible twos, but my little one is only 16 months old and he's become very obstinent. He's hitting-which seems to happen the most when he's tired, he's started kind of yelling, into everything. i want to think that some of this is normal and it's out of frustation or something because he can't talk yet or he's asserting his indepdence or something. ?????? i don't want to think that i've already messed my kid up in some way. advice? suggestions? "

" You hear a lot of people talk about the "terrible twos," and I certainly understand where the term comes from. But it's so inaccurate to think of this age as being dominated by frustrated toddlers whining their parents' ears off all the time.

The truth, this for me has been an amazing time because of the growth we can witness in our child on an almost daily basis. I'm not talking about physical growth (although I do have moments where I just stare at her remembering how tiny she once was.) What I'm most blow away by is the new things she says and does. I'm talking about her saying "I want to eat something spicy," and when I offer some pretzels, she looks at me with disdain -- "no, not pretzels, something spicy." Or just watching her play imaginary games with herself, pretending that we're painting and looking at my imaginary canvas and saying "Dada, that's so pretty."

So if you're new at this like me and you haven't hit that magical 24 month mark, don't be all that fearful -- it's really a lot of fun. "

" A couple of weeks ago a reader commented about grandparents helping potty train their child years ago. It was a unique circumstance -- the child had to stay with the grandparents because of a health issue in the family -- but it got me to thinking about how crucial a role grandparents can play in the healthy development of a child.

We just finished back to back weekends visiting grandparents on each side of the family, and we're really blessed that they care so much about Ella. It's something that will surely help her as she grows (it already has, actually), and we need to remember to be thankful for that. I'm not sure off the top of my head when "Grandparents Day" is on the calendar, but it's good to show appreciation for what they do all year long. "

" Here's what the American Academy of Pediatrics Web site has to say on when to start potty training (By the way, I'm glad I looked it up, because I discovered that they have a really great Web site aimed at parents):

"When is the right time to start toilet training?

"There is no set age at which toilet training should begin. The right time depends on your child's physical and psychological development. Children younger than 12 months have no control over bladder or bowel movements and little control for 6 months or so after that. Between 18 and 24 months, children often start to show signs of being ready, but some children may not be ready until 30 months or older.

"Your child must also be emotionally ready. He needs to be willing, not fighting you or showing signs of fear. If your child resists strongly, it is best to wait for a while."

The rest of the page goes on to offer tips, guidelines, etc.. It can be found at this link:
http://www.aap.org/publiced/BR_ToiletTrain.htm "

" It's a strange thing to think that because they are overtired, that they struggle with sleeping soundly, but it seems to happen. On the nights when I know my little one should be exhausted and crash right away, he seems to struggle the most to fall asleep and tends to have the most restless nights. There was a time when we were coming back from a very exhausting all day family event and my little one just started crying---and wouldn't stop. There was nothing that would console him. He just cried and cried until he exhausted himself. It was rather upsetting for us and really emphasized how important it is to stick to his routine as best we can. I know it's not always possible, but it really messes him up if it's not even remotely followed.

As for potty training--i've heard boys start later than girls, but when exactly should we even be thinking about it? "

" We appreciate the insight, Proud Grammy. I also think the moon definitely affects sleep patterns for many of us.

Another important factor for Ella is a solid nap each day. She still takes one in the early afternoon, and on days when that gets disrupted, she can struggle -- perhaps she's overtired. "

" I was forever grateful when my husband became very ill and his mother took Sara home to Massena with her for the three months her father was in the hospital. When we all were able to go back to being a family, my little Sara came home, potty trained! Every first-time parent should be so lucky to have in-laws like that! "

" Growth spurts interrupt sleep the same as teething, illness, and changes in the weather. Adults begin to have trouble sleeping when the weather teases us with a few good days here and there,and so do children. Cabin fever is stressful to everyone. "

" We've got a big challenge ahead of us, one that we've admittedly been putting off. Sooner or later, though, we're going to have to dive head-first into potty training with our Ella.

I'm pretty sure she's going to do OK; she's always been eager to "grown-up" things and prove that she's a big girl. But I'm still apprehensive and am eager to hear any tips that experienced parents can share.

So please, share away (and despite the subject matter, let's keep the language clean :) ) "

" Oh yes, a full night's sleep is a precious thing. Our 15 month old has very few of them. He might wake up for a few minutes, once or twice. but even that is enough to interupt not only his sleep, but our's as well. I don't know how many times a day I'm told how tired I look. On the rare nights when he does sleep all night, I often suddenly wake up, thinking "Oh my gosh, is something wrong?" I will say, with the nice weather we had last week, the nights that we went to the playground to play after dinner, my little guy slept like a rock. I can't wait for consistent good weather!!!!!

On a different note, my little guy-15 months old, only child--seems to be hitting the terrible two's a bit early. Is he just testing boundaries? Do I have a little devil on my hands? He raised quite a ruckus at daycare the other day--hitting, taking toys from other kids, throwing food, etc. Advice? Suggestions? And of course, he's already learned the art of a cute smile and batting his baby blues. Sheesh! "

" Here's a warning for parents of relatively newborn babies -- once your baby starts sleeping through the night, it's a big relief but it doesn't last forever.

At least in our case.

Perhaps it's related to growth spurts, but it seems that every couple of months, our 2.25-year-old goes through a streak of nights where she wakes up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep. We just had such a stretch, and thankfully, have now had three nights in a row of her sleeping through the night again. We've been giving her stickers in the morning for sleeping all night, and she's genuinely proud of herself. Hopefully we can get it to become a habit again, but I'm sure there's another bout of sleepless nights somewhere in the future.

The battle never stops -- so savor those nights when you can get complete sleep. "

" I just discovered that I somehow deleted the past three months worth of posts to this blog. I just copied and pasted the most recent entry from that batch, made on Tuesday, and I'll try to find out if we can retrieve the deleted material and post a link to it soon.

Sorry for the mixup. "

" We've had a few nice days here and there, but it just feels like we're on the edge of consistently decent weather -- though I still fear one more wintery blast is in story.

It's got me thinking about outdoor things to do with Ella, and one of her favorites last summer was to go to the playground.

I'm wondering what others think are the best playgrounds this area has to offer. We've spent a good amount of time at Herman Avenue elementary school, which has a solid setup -- though it seems like it's becoming a tween hangout of late, and sometimes it just doesn't mix well with toddlers (disturubing conversations we have overheard there is a future topic).

The town of Owasco playground by the fire station is quite nice, especially because the equipment is spread out so the kids are bumping into each other as much.

Emerson Park has some nice pieces of equipment, though it's a little on the older side.

Where else? -- And what else do you look for in a good playground for the kids? "