“IMAGINE”

That great song by John Lennon has inspired me to do a little imagining of my own.

I imagined that my bailout check arrived in the mail the other day.

I imagined the awesome things that I could do with it.

I could buy one of those soon to be retired space shuttles. The grandkids would love it as part of a backyard playground.

Or I could modify it as a wine tour limo. Think of the looks myself (as the pilot, of course) and my customers would get landing in a winery parking lot.

How about my own shoe throwing range? I could set it up with shoes (the ammo) and photographs of my customer's favorite politicians and other odious celebs (the targets).

Flustered middle class working slobs could let fly with worn out size 10s and 17s, factory-crud encrusted steel toes and dog-do stained Crocs and stilettos.

I would also encourage the huddled masses to bring their own footwear and target material (at a reduced range fee, of course). I think I would call it “Paul's Shoe-ting Range.” Catchy, huh?

Here's one I doubt any Upstate New Yorker would argue with.

Detach everything from Albany east and south to Montauk Point, float it out to sea, declare it something other than New York and make Union Springs the new capital of the Empire State. We could even keep the Bluebird as the state feathered vertebrae.

All kidding aside though, I would really like to use my imaginary half-bil (with a B) to buy every vacant building in the area and turn into a money-making enterprise.

How about the old Orchard Street roundhouse as a wine cellar and restaurant or antique consignment barn?

“IMAGINE”

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Paul N. Luziani

Union Springs