I am still horror-stricken over the death of 20 month old Imani Jennings.
As most of you know, the toddler was beaten to death by her mother's fifteen year old boyfriend after a potty training accident. Police say the child was beaten for nearly an hour with a metal rod and cable wires.
Relatives say they were growing concerned about how hard the toddler was being spanked. But they did not realize the punishment had become abusive until it was too late.
The tragic incident has stirred up water-cooler conversation as to whether or not spanking your child should be illegal.
Everyone I know was swatted on the backside at least once as a child. In fact, many child-development experts agree that limited and restrained physical punishment is not harmful and can actually be an effective and necessary teaching tool.
But tragedies such as the death of Imani Jennings raise a lot of questions as to whether or not spanking is a gateway to more severe corporal punishment.
As a child, I took a swat to the bottom on a few occasions. Mind you, it was very rare and always well earned.
But I think it's fair to say that I learned at a young age to respect authority and to pick my battles.
I grew up having tremendous respect for my elders and a clear understanding of both rules and consequences.
It sounds basic, but as Generation Y enters the workforce there are many, particularly boomers, who feel that this generation is undisciplined and brash; unable to respond to commands and orders without reasonable explanation and a courteous “please and thank you.”
I'm not saying that sparing the rod necessarily spoils the child. But I do think there is a huge difference between spanking a child and violently beating a toddler to death.
I think spankings shouldn't occur until the child is old enough to speak and should stop when the child enters kindergarten.
I also feel that physical discipline should be limited to the backside with an open hand and never administered on a hot temper.
This poor baby wasn't spanked. She was neglected and abused on a consistent basis.
If the relatives had concerns as to the growing severity of the spankings, they should've come forwarded before it was too late.
Estabrook's column appears Mondays and she can be reached at estabrookcarole@yahoo.com
Relatives say they were growing concerned about how hard the toddler was being spanked. But they did not realize the punishment had become abusive until it was too late.
The tragic incident has stirred up water-cooler conversation as to whether or not spanking your child should be illegal.
Everyone I know was swatted on the backside at least once as a child. In fact, many child-development experts agree that limited and restrained physical punishment is not harmful and can actually be an effective and necessary teaching tool.
But tragedies such as the death of Imani Jennings raise a lot of questions as to whether or not spanking is a gateway to more severe corporal punishment.
As a child, I took a swat to the bottom on a few occasions. Mind you, it was very rare and always well earned.
But I think it's fair to say that I learned at a young age to respect authority and to pick my battles.
I grew up having tremendous respect for my elders and a clear understanding of both rules and consequences.
It sounds basic, but as Generation Y enters the workforce there are many, particularly boomers, who feel that this generation is undisciplined and brash; unable to respond to commands and orders without reasonable explanation and a courteous “please and thank you.”
I'm not saying that sparing the rod necessarily spoils the child. But I do think there is a huge difference between spanking a child and violently beating a toddler to death.
I think spankings shouldn't occur until the child is old enough to speak and should stop when the child enters kindergarten.
I also feel that physical discipline should be limited to the backside with an open hand and never administered on a hot temper.
This poor baby wasn't spanked. She was neglected and abused on a consistent basis.
If the relatives had concerns as to the growing severity of the spankings, they should've come forwarded before it was too late.
Estabrook's column appears Mondays and she can be reached at estabrookcarole@yahoo.com
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Post your comment - click hereThere are 7 comment(s)
james_13021 wrote on Dec 5, 2008 6:04 AM:
I was spanked, beaten, struck with furniture, 2x4's, sticks, belts, cooking utensils, locked up in the basement, thrown outside in the winter with just my pajamas on, and alot more by an abusive mother mostly, and by a father who got drunk because of her.
I learned alot on what not to do children from my "parents". Do I think they (mostly my mom, who even a few years ago tried to jam a buring citeragette im my face during an argument) went too far...YES.
Do I think parent should be aloud to spank. YES, but where to draw the line between abuse and discipline. I would rather see a parent be unafraid to discipline their children, instead of seeing children with no discipline for themselves or anyone around them, mostly-RICH or poor.
I drew the line with my own parents a few years ago...I finally ended my relationship with them and family because I have a family of my own, and could see what they(my mother) was doing to my children and myself still... "
anonymous wrote on Dec 2, 2008 12:54 PM:
Citizen editors wrote on Dec 2, 2008 11:47 AM:
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GiveMeLiberty wrote on Dec 1, 2008 10:41 AM:
Similarly our children should have protection from other children striking them out of anger. And that behavior should be corrected by an authority figure. In your example, the authority figure is the police officer who comes to the situation with persuasion, and then commands, and then physical force if needed. In my example the authority figure is a parent, who comes with the same tools.
You are trying to say that parents who use physical punishment would allow their children to be hit out of anger by other children?
"Children are still learning and often don't really know what they are doing because they are confused by all of the 'role models' that they are exposed to."
You are slyly implying that physical punishment is usually the first form of correction resorted to by parents who use it. You are painting a picture of a child wandering through life getting smacked when they don't know the proper way to act in new situations. This is not indicative of the average parent and I resent the implication.
"Hitting a child often makes them feel that hitting is an acceptable way to solve problems."
Boy I would love to see your data on that. "
GiveMeLiberty wrote on Dec 1, 2008 10:16 AM:
This incident has nothing to do at all with spanking children. A psychopathic 15-yo monster beating a child to death with a wire and a metal rod has nothing at all to do with a responsible parent occasionally reminding their child who is boss with a swat on the butt.
At some point WELL before the child's death, the murderer crossed over into a realm of what would already be considered illegal child abuse. The fact that they were illegally abusing the child did not stop them from continuing until the child was dead. Pushing the line of illegality down closer to or even beyond where responsible child-rearing is would not have made a difference in this case.
If the speed limit in your town is 30 miles per hour, and a drunk comes through at 90 miles per hour and kills someone, is your solution to lower the speed limit to 15? "
plasmatronix wrote on Dec 1, 2008 9:41 AM:
Hitting a child often makes them feel that hitting is an acceptable way to solve problems. "
stophitting.org wrote on Dec 1, 2008 7:15 AM:
Yes, spanking is a gateway to abusing children.
Studies have also shown that it does not have the effect parents want - Instead spanking raises the risk of aggressiveness, increased behavior problems, and mental and physical health problems.
Twenty four countries have banned hitting of children in all settings, even homes. They have done so to reduce child abuse and to give children the right that adults have to be free from physical harm. "