" Yes, that is an awesome idea--contributing to college. My parents buy a few small gifts, but also give savings bonds. It is nice to know that he will have that "cushion" of money for college when the time comes. I don't know if this is considered tactful or not, but I read a suggestion by a parent in one of the many magazines I receive about how to avoid kids getting too much. This mom wrote in that she tells all family and friends that they are limited to buying one toy, one book and one outfit. Not a bad idea, especially if you come from a big family. "

" OLB: funny that we parents think we are the rulers, but in fact the kids consume our homes with toys everywhere!
even though I have a playroom, the house has some kind of toys in every room!

we always do a clean-out of toy boxes quarterly, many times I do it alone while she is at school. lol.

mine will turn 10 on Jan 21st-we dont get much of a toy break either!
she hopes to receive what she didn't receive for Christmas.

the pony and the german sheppard puppy are still on the NOT happening list!
especially after I saved the turtle this AM from being the cats appetizer.
She forgot the cat went into her room; last night! Actually I am surprised the cat only went after the turtle when the hamster and gecko could have been fun too!

I think we should send out notices to family and friends:
please only spend half of your gift on a toy/clothes, deposit the other half into her savings account.
should we consult Dear Abby for the proper etiquette?? lol. "

" OLB: we too, are having the Viacom talk thru dinner tonight.
I agree anyone with young tots are overly angry about this. My daughter is 9 and still loves to watch dora,blue clues,etc. the grand-daughter is also a Nick addict.
I am also not happy with brighthouse NOT notify their customers with this change!
brighthouse has raised our rates 2ce this year, we recieved a notice for that! We dont seem to have a say in their raises and nor in the channel selections. When we signed up for brighthouse-they included these stations!
I am considering changing to verizon in my area!
I plan to call brighthouse to let them know my disapproving thoughts!

happy new year! "

" I'm sure our house was not the only that read with shock the crawl that appeared across the screen of the morning episode of "Jack's Big Music Show" on Noggin, a commercial free channel with programs designed for pre-school age children. The message said that channel and a bunch of others would be removed from our lineup at midnight and urged us to call Time Warner to demand this not happen. Viacom, which owns these channels, is trying to negotiate higher fees from Time Warner. We have a story that we'll keep updating on our home page, and there's plenty of coverage in the national media about the dispute.

It seems to me that both companies are being greedy about this whole thing, but what truly disgusts me is the way Viacom is using its viewers, particularly families with small children, as pawns. The worst was an ad in today's New York Times, which featured a crying "Dora the Explorer." "Why is Dora crying?" the ad asks. "Time Warner Cable is taking Dora off the air tonight!"

Give me a break!

In a civil world, both parties would figure out a way to keep these programs going while the worked out their differences. They would do this because they care about their customers. But in the end, they're not about serving their customers. They're about maximizing profits with whatever means necessary. "

" I too, wish that I had thought to do the toy purge before Christmas. My little guy did quite well even though we made the concsious effort not to go overboard(his b'day is in 2 weeks so we needed to split things up a bit). I kept thinking about purging the toy baskets/bins but just never got around to it before Christmas. So after Christmas it happened, but I had to make sure not purge all the "guys" that came with each truck that Santa brought this year. It was definitely a fun but overwhelming day for him. And he's still actually playing with the toys he got so we must have done something right! : ) "

" First-time parents of newborns, learn from my mistake: Keep your child's toys under control starting now. You have plenty of generous family and friends who all love to give your little one age-appropriate toys, and as they accumulate, you start putting them in baskets or bins. But before you know it, those baskets and bins will be overflowing, and they you start to lose floor space.

Here's what I think I did wrong ... I should have conducted quarterly toy retirement sessions, go through all the stuff once every three months and put a bunch of the older items in boxes or bags or whatever long-term storage device you like and either donate them, give to a friend who needs them or keep them in the attic for your next child.

My failure to be organized about this puts us in the position of needing to undertake a major toy inventory project soon as we have just completed the holiday (and for us, birthday) season.

On the bright side, I procrastinated on that project today by jumping on the treadmill for 30 minutes while Ella was napping .. felt great to get some exercise. "

" teacher1: I have to agree with OLB on traditions..keep some old ones but add whatever suits your needs or wants.

for us-my job at holiday time is very busy-I began the lasagna dinner as tradition..I can make this way ahead and NOT be in the kitchen on christmas day, and enjoy the day with the family!

we also started decorating cookies and making gingerbread house on the 'EVE' too, after we visit our nearby Christmas House for family pics and just strolling the property thats so beautiful.

It WILL be the kids who will remind you 'we need to do xxxx' that then turns it into a tradition THEY love! "

" That's an interesting question about family traditions around the holidays -- I hope some others reading this blog offer some thoughts on it ...

For me, I guess the answers really depend on the families involved. Maybe the best way to approach it is to be open and upfront about your desire to establish some of your own traditions with your children, but certainly not at the total elimination of other established traditions.

One thing about traditions, though, is that they just sort of happen. I wouldn't go out of my way to do something with the idea that it has to be the start of a tradition. Just make plans to do stuff as a family and see how it goes. If it turns out to be fun and memorable, there's a good chance you'll try to do it again the next year.

And traditions can take all forms. It could be something really informal. The three of us, for example, just wanted to get out of the house the other night to cure a little cabin fever so we went to the mall to do some last-minute shopping and just walk around. It turned out to be a blast. Who knows, maybe we'll turn that little excursion into a Dec. 23 tradition at our household.

Thanks for the input and question, teacher1 -- keep 'em coming! "

" Yes, my little guy-almost a year old!-loves to play with a small pan and a wooden spoon that I gave him to keep him entertained while I cook dinner. : ) Hopefully he'll play with the toys that we bought him-at least for a little while. I read a comment someone left about buying stock or savings bonds. That's what my mom started doing for other family members and she is now doing for her grandkids. He definitely doesn't get it now, but when it comes time for college, he'll definitely know the value of it. : ) Anyone have any advice for balancing family obligations and trying to establish your own family traditions at the holidays? Merry Christmas!!! "

" You're right about the limited appeal of many toys, CM. It has seemed like ever since she could sit up and grab objects, Ella's favorite toys have been things like pots, pans, stones, etc. That's probably why they just put the stick in the toy hall of fame in Rochester. (Quick tangent here -- if you've got small children, you've got to visit the museum of play they have up there, it's an incredible experience for kids.) One of Ella's newer favorite toys is a rolling pin she found, which she drags over the floors like she's operating a vacuum cleaner, which is what she's pretending to do -- "I'm vacuuming the crumbs." More than anything, she seems to have the most fun when she's using her imagination.

Still, we are losing square footage by the day to new toys around here with her birthday and the holidays. It's time for us to go through the toy collection and pack some stuff up. "

" OLB: coming from a large family-with extensions, I now find it better to buy my grandkids ONE toy and either buy a savings bond or make a deposit to their savings account.

as you will soon see, the toys will be ignored about a month after they purchased--especially the ones you thought would be the coolest for her play with!

my best friend in NY bought her daughter this doll that costed over 100.00 whn she was 2..because everytime the commercial came on-her daughters eyes were glued to the TV.
I mailed her an 8.00 See 'n Says..she completely ignored this doll, and my present went everywhere she went!

they really dont care about the 'fad' of today, they are just as happy with pots and pans to bang on!

future money however will aid in college, buying a car, or even a house!
stay away from 'stocks' lol... "

" OLB: I too say the same exact things about packaging-especially on kids toys!

ask a parent about opening up a new barbie!

to also save your sanity, ask your wife when shopping to please pay the extra 10.00 and have whatever put together!
it is well worth the cost!

as she grows if you plan on purchasing 'house items' such as a kitchen set or a playhouse--stick with little tykes or Step Two--you may spend more money but they will last 20+ years.

our grand-daughter loves my older daughters 'country cottage' by little tykes--it IS 20 yrs old this Xmas!
and is in perfect condition! "

" One of the most rewarding parts of being a parent are those moments your child does or says something that catches you pleasantly off guard. With toddlers, those moments seem to come each day because they're developing so fast. The other night, my daughter asked me where Mommy was ... I told her that Mommy was on the way home and that she should be at home in about 15 minutes. With that, Ella gave a perfectly inflected answer of "OK, that's fine." It was so cute and so funny that I had to call my wife to tell her right away.

I'm sure those moments of simple breakthroughs don't stop -- they just take different forms -- as our children grow up.

But they are all great reminders of what a blessing it is to have them in our lives. "

" COMPLETING FAFSA & TAP FORMS - HELPFUL HINTS FOR YOU FIRST TIMERS.....

It's almost that time of year to begin another fun filled time completing the FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) and TAP (New York State's Tuition Assistance Program).

The madness & mayhem begins January 1, 2009 in starting this process.

You might as well get a jump onto this and utilize your 2007 tax numbers as a start. You will think you do not know what you are doing, probably will become confused and annoyed, and hey, that's ok. That's how the system was created.

For you first timers at applying for FAFSA & TAP this, let me give you some helpful hints:

1. Have a sense of humor and patience doing this. It can get annoying, confusing, irritating and downright humorous just in one sitting at the computer.

Have one or two of your favorite beverages nearby as you go through the process. It may take you more than an hour the first time. Keep your cool. Keep a sense of humor.

And after your 2008 taxes are completed, you will have to go into your FASA account to change and correct everything you used for your 2007 tax numbers.

2. When creating user names and pins, actually write these down and make copies of it. Put these in different areas so they do not get lost. This is permanent account information. If your child is going for a 4 year degree, you will be doing FAFSA & TAP every year.

3. Information on FAFSA can be found on www.fafsa.ed.gov . There is a worksheet on there in pdf form. Download it, print it out and USE IT! (Unless you do enjoy torturing yourself). The worksheet can help you figure out the numbers and from what lines on your previous tax returns.

4. Do not be intimidated by the FAFSA application. Get started with it using 2007 tax return numbers. Try to get comfortable with it. When you later go in to make corrections, the FAFSA form will actually tell you all the correct numbers, lines from tax forms, etc that it is seeking.

5. Speaking of tax returns, immediately schedule to have your 2008 taxes completed. Shoot for a goal on when to have them done. I would say no later than February 15, 2009 so it gives you ample time to go back into FAFSA and make the necessary corrections.

6. And when you get your tax returns done, do not hesitate to make corrections to FAFSA.

7. The beauty of the FAFSA form is that it incorporates the NY State TAP Program. You can access TAP from the FAFSA form and you use your NY State Tax return information for this.

In this age of computers, it really is a good thing to do FAFSA & TAP on a computer. All the colleges your child has applied to receives this information simultaneously. Should these colleges award academic scholarships and/or financial aid grants, they have your financial information available.

However, like all questionnaires, there are trick questions and questions there to trip you up on FAFSA.

Down the road you may get a letter from a particular college asking why such a financial discrepency occurred to particular question(s).

It's really a simple answer: First time attempting FAFSA with no real knowledge of this process.

And one more thing before I forget, if a college sends you additional financial aid forms to complete, be very wary of them. Especially if they ask what is the market value of your home, mortgage payment, rent or own.

It is another way to trip you up, thus adding another layer to muddle through for financial aid from a college, especially a private college.

FAFSA does not ask the market value of your home.

One way of looking at completing FAFSA is the time spent as an investment in your child's college education and its funding.

Only 15 more days till you can start playing with FAFSA! "

" Well, we had a great birthday celebration with some friends and family over the weekend. Ella had a good time, to be sure, and she certainly added to her arsenal of toys.

The whole experience, though, was reminder for me about one of my biggest frustrations as a parent -- the ridiculous packaging of children's toys. I understand that toy companies are trying to combat theft, but the amount rigid cardboard, plastic and wires that are used to hold things in place is enough to build an addition to our house with. Is all of that packaging really needed? I'm also sure that its' bad for the environment because a lot of people don't bother to flatten out all of that cardboard and pull out the plastic and wires so it can be recycled. I do it, but I feel like I've completed a workout by the time I'm done (OK, the folks who have read my past blogs may point out that I can use the exercise, anyway).

But really, am I wrong in thinking this packaging is way out of control? "

" Say It Isn't So....

With this lousy and unpredictable enconomy and projected revenue gloom and doom with governments, don't be surprised that school districts aren't already seeking ways to make cuts into education programs.

I've heard through the grapevine that some proposed cuts will probably occur in the Cayuga Onondaga BOCES New Visition Program.

And that bothers me.

Tentatively scheduled for the axe is the New Vision Business & Media, and Environmental programs.

With terrible enrollments for school year 2008-09 in these programs (less than 10 kids per program out of 8 school districts), I can see why these programs may not seem to be effective on paper.

The New Visions Environmental program has always had smaller enrollments, but if we are in the age of Go Green, are we now sending the wrong message to our youth? Trash environmental education at the expense of students?

In academic year 2007-08, the New Visions Business & Media program had 17 kids. My daughter was in this program - and yes, I can say it was the best thinig since sliced bread for her and a lot of those students then.

Why you ask? Here are a few reasons.

1. It brought kids together from different school districts as a "melting pot", educating these kids on how to interact with one another on a neutral turf and learning together.

2. It got students ready for college...period. Studying. Workloads. Expectations. This is not an easy program, has demanding tasks associated to it, and it got these kids involved in our community and community issues.

3. Internships - Four in the spring semester (one per month) per student. Where else can a student get this?

And with that being said, I can honestly say and honestly believe my daughter would not have received an academic scholarship from Canisius College without the aid of the New Visions Business & Media program.

I'm not sure if she would have received an academic scholarship should she have stayed in a traditional high school setting.

I've heard it said that students learn at different levels and different ways. Sometimes traditional methods are not as effective. New Visions acted as an alternative method.

What saddens me about this is that from 2007-08 to 2008-09 enrollment for this New Visions program dropped from 17 to 4. So on paper, this could be considered to be an ineffective program? I beg to differ and offer contrary reasons.

Could there be a conspiracy amongst school districts to (1) limit the amount of New Vision kids as a district, (2)Not promote the New Vision program so the school district would not have to financiall pay BOCES per student enrolled in these programs, (3)These school districts do not care to educate themselves on the virtues of these New Vision programs, thus hindering students and their respective potentials, or (4) Districts have no respect for the New Visions program.

In our college search with our daughter, we asked all these college admission people on their thoughts about New Vision programs.

Out of 10 schools we visited, only one was not impressed with the New Visions program and put more stock into AP high school courses. The remaining 9 colleges gave the New Vision program high marks. And of course my daughter did not attend SUNY Geneseo.

So say it isn't so. For once I hope the grapevine is wrong. Please keep the New Vision Business & Media and Environmental programs alive. It would be a shame to derail a good thing. "

" OLB: my house has been taken over with toys and 'stuff' in every room for the past 9yrs since my daughter was born!

I swear they multiply after I go to bed!
For about 5 months I had my grand-daughters 5ft track & riding train in the middle of my livingroom.

the front yard has the basketball hoop, bikes, and barbie jeep.
the back yard, has the trampoline, little tykes cottage, and sandbox, and swingset.

the main bathroom has shower toys, the other has bathtub toys.

I almost could say the laundry room is safe toyless grounds--but then stuffed animals are washed and some set atop the machine to dry!
lol.... "

" Had my grandson last night. his parents commenting on how their Xmas tree is only decorated on the TOP half!
He did very well with mine--of course wanted to touch a few things, which I said 'thats grammas, pretty, so be nice'

he never pulled a thing off it!
funny how wee ones have different personalities and actions in their own home vs. grammas house or daycare!

Unless its something very sentimental and breakable, or dangerous, I dont put things away. I find it better to teach them very young what they can and cannot touch.

I have a huge Indian collection, my grandson knows he can only SEE the pretty babies (dolls) but he CAN play with the drum.
He will look at me and point, then wait for my approval. when I do say NO, I give him something He can play with.
or hand him 2 items and let him choose.

bartering eases he temper tantrums!

also being clear on rules (he's only 1)makes life easier when visiting OTHERS homes.

If your friends ask you: 'are you bringing Johnny?'
YES,you say. Then they reply oh-great! you are doing your job as a parent.
BUT if they say 'OH-ok', they havent the guts to tell you your child is undisciplined and misbehaves in their home. "

" We probably don't have the room, cm, our house has slowly been taken over by toys. I also think Ella's too young for the trampoline at this point.

One thing to remember with all toys and activities, I guess, is that it depends on the individual child -- their age, size, physical abilities, etc. The No. 1 thing that all parents and grandparents want to be sure about is safety. Of course, a big part of that is adequate supervision. It's funny to see how Ella's curiosity can get her into things while I'm watching her -- she reminds of Curious George so often -- but that also reinforces that she needs to be monitored heavily at this point in her life.

One other quick point I want to get in -- this blog is merely a place for parents to share stories and ideas. None of us, especially me, have any illusions that we're experts. "

" happy 'late' Birthday Ella!

oh I see your plan, you want to exhaust Ella before bedtime--hahaha
all parents goal..

if you have the room, invest in one of the blow-up mini-trampolines

http://www.toysrus.com/product/
index.jsp?productId=2267365

it says ages 3 and up, but we had one for granddaughter and at 2 she loved it-we also have the added balls--to use too.
similar to making the 'ball pit' at chuck e cheese-this was hours of fun!

we have a 14 ft regular trampoline in the yard with enclosure--she has loved that since she could crawl..!!! "

" Thanks for the project idea, CM. We definitely do enjoy the indoor craft projects -- Ella loves painting, glue sticks and coloring.

What I'm really talking about, though, are ideas for more physical activities. What can we do in the wintertime to replace that hour of running around like wild on a playground or in the yard?

By the way, today is her 2nd birthday. Thinking back on what was going on this day two years ago, it's been an incredible journey. "

" OLB: CRAFTS!
messy but indoor fun!
right now we make 'ice cream cone ornaments' for the tree and gifts.
1 box of colored cones
1 bag of plastic balls-a tad bigger than the cone openings
1 bag of cotton
elmers glue

glue the cotton around the top of the cones, then glue the ball ornaments atop the cotton. let them sit overnight and you have fun great gifts and decorations!

messy but Ella will love the outcome.

PS never place them on the bottom of the trees, OUR dogs eat the cones!

also craft stores have sticky foam-you can make hats,bookmarks,door hangers, picture frames...easy for Ella to do. "

" The last few days have not been the most enjoyable weatherwise around here, which is tough on toddlers. This will really be our first full winter with a toddler -- Ella didn't start walking until February last year. Getting outside in the parks and playgrounds was great this past fall and summer, but I'm wondering what ideas people have for things to do outside the house with small children (3 and under, say) here in snowy, cold Cayuga County? Ella and my wife visited the Seymour Library recently, and she had a great time there with a computer they have for little kids (she loves to say "I want to check my emu" -- referring to email). But I also want to find things she can do that will help her stay physically active. Of course we can go outside and play in the snow for short periods of time, but it would be good to have some indoor options.

Just some of my rambling thoughts -- please chime in. "

" OLB:
at our local craft fair..from TN. was a man that built these awesome cases--similar to a flag holding case..(shadow box) only in many different sizes.
we bought one and are planning to do one a year for the kids..
I have packed away--many of their cutest (MY fav) things.

such as my 2nd son born premmie, actually wore cabbage patch doll clothes! (no preemie clothes in 1985)
I still have them all!

in his case these will go!
this shadow box will be a great idea to hang in their room!

some similar:
http://www.meadowsdisplaycases.com "

" OLB: so sorry about your dog, my Tia is not fairing so well either..she will be 14 in Feb. at the moment she is almost totally blind. And barks for me to come to her aid.
the day is coming soon and I will be devasted!

depending on your religion, I would explain where Morgan went. the library has great books even for 2yr olds.

we have another dog Lulu..she is my 9yr old FAV, they have grown up together. We bought Lulu when my daughter was 1.
A few years ago a book came out about 'saying goodbye to Lulu'
I bought it and put it away for when they day comes, that she looses her best pal.
I think it will bring her some comfort.

head to the library... "

" OLB: A trick on shopping when they are little like Ella is to lie...lol
I always stuck with my story 'thats the stores and NOT for sale' while having something of their FAV in the diaper bag that they didnt see me pack!

OR if you do plan to let her have something small-and are going to many sores in one day-my kids had their own wallet and money (earned). They were taugh very yong to spend wisely.

earned from a 2yr old? YES!
the age loves to help you.
my grand-daughter loves to help fold clothes, empty the dishwasher, and mop with the swifter!
though its not up to OUR pars, its extra aid that should be rewarded.

but putting their toys away is a chore..no reward there! lol...

mostly at 2, they want to mimic YOU.
fit in a dollar store on your store list! "

" The countdown to Ella's birthday is on ... in just three days, she's going to be 2 years old. It's amazing how much things have changed in that period of time. Right now her vocabulary has exploded, and one of the most fascinating things to watch is how she is clearly experimenting with putting words together.

I've finished going through all of my photos from the past year; naturally, when you do something like that, you get a little sad because you see her in clothes she will never wear again or playing with toys that she won't use again. But I think it's important not to get too caught up in that kind of looking back because you'll miss out on all of the great things going on now. At this age, it seems each day brings some kind of new breakthrough that is worthy of celebration. "

" Things are slowly getting back to normal, or at least the new normal without Morgan the dog in the house. Ella typically asks about her once a day, but she seems OK with our explanation.

So to get our minds off things and to get out of the house, we're looking to take a family shopping trip this weekend --- probably heading over to the outlets in Waterloo.

Shopping with a toddler is always an adventure. I think generally we've had good success. We give her a little space to explore, but make sure to stay in control. We've avoided major meltdowns, and when they do seem to be emerging, our strategy has been to quickly shift the scene (meaning I typically take her outside while my wife finishes in whatever store we happen to be in at the time). I'm sure we've all seen some troubling toddler/parent dynamics play out in the store. I cringe when I see some parents start to scream louder than the kids and use language that would make most of us blush.

But don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect and it's not easy. What strategies/advice do other people have for handling the shopping experience? "

" I think it stinks that so many schools have done away with early admissions. It is hard enough for kids to get into the right school, and those applications costs add up. With early admissions, you could apply to the schools which really interested you, and lock down your place if you got in. If you didn't, you still had time to apply for community college or a state school. Now the whole process is made so much more stressful -- and expensive -- by forcing kids to apply to a lot more schools to be safe.

Colleges should be supportive of students trying to find the right match instead of trying to force their hands and adding even more stress for the whole family by condensing the application process into one pass instead of two.

Bring back early admissions! "

" This has been a tough week at our house because our beloved little dog, Morgan, passed away. Like many pets, she was a giant part of our family -- Morgan has been with my wife and me for 11 years, a period of time that included seven moves, countless trips to the vet and I won't even get into the money spent on those trips. But needless to say, we're heartbroken.

It's extremely difficult to talk to Ella about this when she asks "Where's Morgan?" At 23 months old, she's obviously going to have a limited understanding of death and what it means. We've tried our best to stay positive and explain that Morgan got sick and that she won't be coming back to us. Actually, Ella seems OK. The toughest part is for my wife and I to keep it together when Ella starts to ask about Morgan.

Talking to young children about death is an awful but absolutely unavoidable thing parents must do, and of course, that conversation varies tremendously depending on the child's age.

I'd welcome anyone with thoughts on how to do this for any age to share them here. I doubt that there's a perfect way to go about it, but it helps to hear from people who have been through it.

-- OLB "

" Early Admissions - Good or Bad?

Tis the season for college early admission & decision. Tis good? Tis bad? Tis not sure?
It's been my experience that early admission & decision is only a benefit to a college student when: (1)the student is receiving a fully academic/athletic scholarship, room & board (2)there is no financial challenges by the family to paying for college (3)a family member (parent, sibling) went to the same school.
Bottom line: With early admission & decision the student is bound to that academic institution. No changing of minds. Not sure if this is really really a good thing.
Your take on it?
-EDH "

" Our Little Boss:

Ella sounds delightful. Children generally start tantrums when they have a 100-200 word vocabulary so she can say she's hungry but not be able to specify that she wants a PB & banana sandwich instead of a PB&J.

If the tantrums reach into other areas, then start a trigger list. When does she have the tantrum? What time of day? What has she been doing? Where was she? What did she recently eat? Who was with her? The list goes continues.

You may find that she has a tantrum more often if her nap is late, she's visited with Uncle George and Aunt Grace, or just eaten any number of food allergens. Once you have a matrix of triggers, you can try to prevent them.

Easier on you and her. < g >

Judy Colbert
"Temper Tantrum Common Sense Handbook" "

" Our luck seems to have run out ... Ella has come down with some kind of a bug. It had been quite a while since she was last sick. As anyone who is familiar with children around this age knows, getting sick is a routine part of growing up. As our pediatrician explained it, children are going through these first couple of years building up their immunity, which comes when they get these minor illnesses. Fortunately, that's all they are. But it sure does make life miserable for a while, mostly because it's such a helpless feeling when your child doesn't feel well. You just have to do your best to comfort them and make sure they know they can count on you.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving with their families and that the holiday season is off to a festive start. I drove by the Auburn parade scene before it got started tonight, and it looked like a lot of fun ... tons of children eager to see the procession.

I was a little sad that Ella wasn't feeling enough to come out and see it all. "

" OLB: always with the 1st born, we parents take tons of pictures. I took daily ones!
BUT, you take less as you get more kids.which makes the others a tad jealous! lol...

I have a photo album for each kid separate, sort of my favs from year to year.
then I have about 30 other albums all one year in each and labeled..a very time consuming project!

If you havent be sure to do a baby book, it really does mean alot to them when they are older. Though they have lines about their firsts ?? I always added a separate paper with MY own stories.
some things we tend to forget especially when more kids are added to the mix..
Like changing the batteries of the smoke alarm, pick a day of the year to write the page..mine is New years day!

silly but even with my older ones in their 20's I still write things that I am proud of!

happy thanksgiving! "

" I just got a chance to check out the Web site mentioned by cm -- kidsgrowth.com -- and it's outstanding. I'm glad I saw it today because it has some cool thoughts on Thanksgiving. Thanks for the recommendation.

There's also a companion site there that's geared toward teenagers, something parents of teens may want to check out.

This will be our second Thanksgiving, and the first one when both sides of the family will be coming to our house (last year my mother was sick, unfortunately). I'm really excited for the day, which I'm sure is going to be chaotic but fun.

To all who have discovered this blog so far -- Have a Happy Thanksgiving!!! "

" Our toddler's second birthday is coming up in a few weeks, so I've been going through our digital photos from the past year picking out the best ones for a slideshow to share with family and friends. It's amazing how many photos we take, especially now that we have digital cameras. I know there are some photo purists out there who lament the growth of digital and the decline of film, but as a dad, I can't tell you how great it is to be able to shoot photos as many times as I want without the fear that it might be a bad picture and therefore a waste of film. It's much easier -- and cheaper -- to simply delete a bad picture off the camera card instead of waiting to see how it turns out after developing. As a result of shooting so many pictures, I know the end result has been more good photos.

OK, that was a bit of a tangent, but I also wanted to share this tidbit because it leads to a cautionary story. Last year, when Ella was about 9 months old, our home computer hard drive died and I foolishly had backed up very few photos. We lost everything. What a heartbreak.

Once we got a new hard drive, I had learned my lesson and purchased an external hard drive. Now, every time I download photos from my card, I also back them up the external HD.

Whether it's an external hard drive, a memory stick, or just CDs, do something to back up your memories. "

" One of my FAV websites is
kidsgrowth.com

lots of info there...for ALL ages! "

" OLB: my kids are 27,23,21, and 9.
the youngest was a 'surprise' blessing!
my grandkids are 3 and 1 yrs old: children of the 23 yr old.

as I have stated on the 2-cents forum, its amazing how my 4 kids -raised by the same parents, are so different!

If you watch closely you will see how others such as family, friends, those closest in your lives will affect their influence. BOTH good and bad!! lol...

plasmatronix: congrats on your new baby.
I have had both grandkids at one time or another while parents work, and learning to juggle a newborn in MY daily life, is at times a chore!

A great tip: ALWAYS keep an extra "emergency" bag in the trunk-with diapers, formula, change of clothes, socks, hat, blanket; basically anything you are using NOW. You never know when you might forget something, or be delayed somewhere!!
BE sure to replace, when you get home, what you used.
as the baby grows-update the bag! "

" plasmatronix, Congratulations! I'm sure you're world has changed dramatically, but it truly is a wonderfully amazing experience. By all means keep us posted on your experiences, and if you know any fellow new moms and dads with stories to tell or advice to share, encourage them to stop by here, as well.

P.S. --- we at one time we're going to try for the cloth diapers but never pulled the trigger. Let us know how you make out on that one. "

" I am so glad to see a parenting blog! My husband and I just had our 1st baby in October. She is now 5 weeks old. It is definitely a learning experience. I would be happy to share my experiences. There are so many products that we are learning about and trying (I'm going to attempt cloth diapering next week! Who knows how that will go!). Plus, all of our old routines, like going out to eat, are new adventures with an infant.

Juggling work/careers with a newborn is also interesting. It's hard enough to find time to run errands, make meals, etc. So, I haven't started exercising again yet. I love yoga, so I'm hoping to order some Yoga w/ baby DVDs online and give those a try. I'm also getting a sling so that I can wear the baby and get exercise by walking in the park (or at the mall when it is really cold!). "

" When you have children, especially your first, you find yourself saying and doing things you never imagined for yourself ... case in point -- listening to children's music.

Much to my delight, however, is the fact that there's a lot of children's music these days that's actually appealing to parents, as well. Check out some names like Laurie Berkner, Dan Zanes and Ellis Paul, just to name a few.

One word of caution about this world, though. These songs will get stuck in y our head, and there's nothing you can do to get rid of them.

Be especially careful with songs from children's TV shows. I can't tell you how many times I've been hanging around at home and I'll just mindless start singing the theme to the "Wonder Pets" or "Jack's Big Music Show." That's bad enough, but then Ella will hear me and instantly start begging for me to turn on the TV to watch that show.

Like I said, it's just a whacky world at times. "

" OK, I'm not off to the greatest start with my resolution get in better shape, but ...

CM is exactly right about trying to involve the little ones in our exercise routines. I was able to do a good amount of walking and playing around the playground with Ella during the nice weather months. It's certainly more of a challenge when the temperatures are below freezing, but as she gets older, her attention span increases along with her eagerness to do things like an exercise program aimed at children. Still, it's tough to do full-blown cardiovascular exercise like 30 minutes of running or biking, which is the ideal.

For parents of newborns and infants in their first few months, it's much tougher. I guess the nap times are the best chance for us adults to work out, though that's much easier said than done. We all know that when baby naps, it's often the only chance for the rest of the household to catch up on some lost sleep, as well.

One goal of ours with this blog is to get a newborn parent, a parent of grade-school children and a parent of teenagers contributing regularly. But it's also great to hear from parents who have been through it all --- the best advice often comes from folks who have lived through the experience but now have the perspective of someone looking back on it rather than being in the thick of things.

That's it for today ... thanks for reading and keep offering those comments -- OLB "

" OLB: why not pull out that treadmill and include your child in your routine?

I have brighthouse cable, we have a channel on demand, on different exercises, I like beginners Yoga..after dinner--6pm--I turned it on, if my grand-daughter is around she try to follow me and the TV. It's entertaining for both of us!!!
She loves having a try on my treadmill too!

This also begins a child into exercising that hopefully becomes a life habit! "

" One of the biggest challenges we've experienced since becoming new parents is finding the time to exercise. It may sound like a selfish observation, but for me (inherently high cholesterol, family history of stroke and heart disease), it's a back-of-the-mind worry. I want to be sure I'm around and in good health to see my daughter's graduation, college years, wedding, etc. Like many people, we have a treadmill that collects dust. It often comes down to a simple matter of what seems like not enough hours in the day.

So I guess the solution might be extending that day, getting up earlier or staying up a little later to get some working out in. As a new blogger, I'm going to make a resolution to establish some sort of fitness routine. I'll let you know how it goes --- any ideas that parents of toddlers or infants might have are welcome. Have you figured out a schedule the works for you, one that allows to have the time with your child that you want and that she deserves, but also lets you stay, or get, in shape? "

" Where To Begin In the College Process?

All of this can be a bit confusing on where to start in the process.

However, you have to consider the student at hand, and whether or not the student is best suited for a community college for at least one year or a four year institution.

If you consider doing both the community college and four year school route, take lots of notes, and better yet when visiting, take pictures of these schools.

Depending on how many and when you visit, it can become very confusing trying to remember what school buildings look like including dormitories. Some are modern, some are not. You have to remember that many community colleges now offer dormitory living.

Not many of us have a photographic memory. And in this age of digital photography, this should be a piece of cake. Download those pictures onto your computer, make a file folder within your computer, and store those photos for later comparison.

Another good tip is to start folders to store information received from each college. File that information away. Make a flow sheet for the front of these schools, writing down information such as tuition, housing, miscellaneous costs, key dates for sending in required information.

I give lots of credit to my wife Janet because she did this with every one of eight, four-year-schools we visited. Without organizing this information, we would have been lost, so to speak.

When you do visit a school, take down notes during the visit, talk about it with the student, and even write down the student's feelings about likes and dislikes about the school. As a parent write down your likes and dislikes as well.

It has to be a good fit for the student, parents and school. I don't put too much stock into a "college major" at this point because college majors can change at any time during a student's career. I prefer to get into other subjects concerning the college.

While during the college visit, don't be afraid to ask questions to anyone with these schools. Ask about requirements such as grades, SAT, ACT scores, curriculum, student-to-professor ratios, retention percentage (this is the percentage of students who come back for their second year and who have not dropped out or transferred), number of yearly applications receiving and acceptance rates; and of course, ask about crime and safety programs.

Funny thing about school visits is that representatives of the schools only show you the good side of these institutions. And of course you will be taken to the college's student union where it will look like there are more foreign flags on display than the United Nations.

This serves as a sudden reminder that college is a global thing, and many foreign students enroll at these schools. At this point you become well aware of how competitive college has become.

And getting back to the SAT scores, some schools take all three parts (reading, math and writing) whereas some schools do not recognize the writing portion and rely heavily on match and reading scores.

And finally, how active has the student been with volunteer work in the community? Believe it or not, a lot of emphasis is put on volunteer work.

So in effect volunteer work is mandatory. It begs the question, how can it be voluntary if mandatory?

And for those of you who don't know, let me fill you in on this: Your student will need a resume to apply to a four year college. It highlights clubs, volunteer actitivities, sports groups, etc.

It should take into account at least the high school years, and probably into 7th & 8th grade as well. Colleges want to see activity.

What I have described so far is the easy part of Parenting For College. Next time, I get into more mind blogging things for you to consider.

-EDH "

" excnyer is right..along with being consistant..
you can't cave because you are in the grocery store or restaurant..
No matter where you are the rules stay the same! "

" I enjoy the blog postings. Parenting children is a tough task if you do it right. For those of us, who have survived it, we can see more humor in the situations. So let parents like us, give everyone hope. Parenting college students extends the parenting years. College Students still need parenting but it is a different kind of parenting. I call it collaborative parenting versus the administrative parenting we needed to do in high school and younger. I have a FREE eBook "Parenting College Students: 27 Winning Strategies for Success" that is a quick fun read that might be helpful. Go to my web site: www.collegeworks101.com and sign up for it. "

" I've been skeptical about "time out" for a child who is not yet 2 years old, but excnyer motivated me to look up some research. It sounds like the key to "time out" is how it's actually executed, and most important, how rewarding "time in" is to the child. Here's a link to something I found at http://www.dbpeds.org/ --- developmental pediatrics online ... It's a bit of a long read, but I'm glad I found it:



http://www.dbpeds.org/articles/detail.cfm?TextID=739 "

" To "our little boss"....for goodness sake! YOU are the parent; therefore, YOU MUST be the one in charge. You have to sometimes be the bad guy. If you give in to your little girl's whims now, imagine what it will be like when she's 12! Trantrums are unacceptable behavior and discipline (ie, time-out) is necessary so your child will know what her boundaries are. "

" Thanks for the suggestions, CM. We've tried "time out" with our 23-month-old a couple of times with mixed success. I'm not sure she's old enough to really get that yet, which is a good topic for debate -- when to start doing "time outs" ... anyway, I just came across this story on the wires today and thought it would interest some parents of pre-schoolers (sorry for the length of this post as a result):

ABCs plus playing nice equals better pre-K smarts
By LAURAN NEERGAARD
AP Medical Writer





WASHINGTON (AP) _ Should preschool be more about ABCs or learning to play with others? With the help of Twiggle the Turtle, scientists found out that youngsters do better if they do both.

So concludes a major study in Head Start programs in Pennsylvania, research with implications for preschools and parents everywhere.

Face it, 4-year-olds are lovable but self-centered, impulsive and prone to meltdowns. Teaching them not to whack a classmate who snatches a toy is a big part of preschool socialization.

But growing awareness that early learning is important to future school achievement has put more pressure on preschool's academic side, especially efforts to eliminate achievement gaps between low-income and wealthier students.

Both skills are intertwined, said Penn State University psychology professor Karen Bierman, who led the new study.

"If preschools focus just on the facts — let's just get the letter knowledge in, let's just get the number knowledge in — they're really missing the engine that's going to drive the desire and motivation for learning," she said.

To prove the relationship, Penn State researchers turned to Head Start, the federal preschool program for poor children.

With funding from the National Institutes of Health and other federal agencies, they divided 44 Head Start classrooms with about 350 4-year-olds. Half taught a traditional Head Start curriculum.

The other half added to their traditional teaching a program called REDI Head Start that included weekly special social lessons — puppets or stories that teach specific problem-solving skills.

Take Twiggle the Turtle. He pushed his friend after she knocked over his block tower, and thus couldn't play anymore. A wise old turtle told Twiggle that when he got upset, he should go inside his shell, take a deep calming breath, and say what bothered him and how it makes him feel: "It really made me mad that you knocked my blocks over."

Cross your arms to be like Twiggle in his shell, the teachers tell their preschoolers. Then practice what James might say if Suzie takes the toy he wants, or if Billy says something mean to Tommy.

Instead of the vague "use your words" advice that parents tend to spout, "be like Twiggle" became the theme and a good habit.

"What's really beautiful: You'll see children over in the blocks center and someone stands up and does the turtle and talks, and someone else does the turtle and talks, and then they sit down and play again," Bierman said.

Another enrichment tested: More intense reading-readiness instruction. It included interactive reading — where the teacher asks questions after each page or so to work on vocabulary and comprehension — and listening games to tease out discrete sounds in words. Both require self-control to focus.

By year's end, preschoolers given enriched instruction scored higher on tests of school readiness, both social and academic, Bierman reported Friday in the journal Child Development.

Some examples: Seventy percent of kids in the enriched classes showed little or no disruptive behavior, compared to 56 percent in the regular classes. Twelve percent of the enriched students still struggled to focus attention on academic tasks, compared to 21 percent in regular classes. And 20 percent in enriched classes exceeded a national vocabulary norm compared with 15 percent in regular classes.

Preschools always aim to teach good behavior, but a crowd-control approach — "stop doing that, put that down, don't pull his hair" — doesn't help children learn to resolve conflict, said James Griffin of the NIH's National Institute of Child Health and Human Development.

The new study shows how to teach children positive steps, not just what to avoid, in a way that's easy for busy teachers, he said. Much of the enriched curriculum is commercially available, along with similar programs also being studied in Head Start.

"You can impact both social, emotional and the pre-academic skills at the same time, in the same classroom, with the same teacher, without overwhelming the teacher," Griffin said.

Bierman next wants to train parents to reinforce these lessons. Meanwhile, her advice for parents:

—Ages 3 to 7 are a key window for learning self-control. Talk to youngsters daily about their feelings and how to work through problems. Who did they play with? What made them happy? What made them sad?

—Get a misbehaving child to take a deep breath and calmly explain his or her feelings. That doesn't mean give in. But saying, "I see you're sad but it's still bedtime," helps children learn they can feel upset but still meet obligations.

—Parents should calm down, too. "It doesn't help to use your words if you're just yelling," Bierman notes. "

" Little boss: do I ever remember those days--and now re-living them with a 3yr old grand-daughter...lol..

I have found at MOST times you can get the tantrums to stop if you replace the disagreement with something they CAN have.
for instance I collect indian dolls, my daughters always wanted MY dolls, I would say 'no thats mama's baby' and HERE is your baby.
Mama's baby doesnt talk, or eat, like your baby does.

if you make it sound BETTER than what they wanted, they seem to fall for it!

If I am in a store, I would tell them the sign says its NOT for Sale today, we have to wait until the worker says its ok buy it. This only works until they can read! lol...

sometimes tantrums are just for attention, or they dont feel well, you have to watch your child and learn her habits.

if you know she is sick, she will whine and just want to be cuddled.
if you know she is tired and missed her nap, she will whine.

the times tantrums are simply for no reason, then I do a time out. ONE minute for the age.
I make it clear that their behavior is not nice, and when they can be nicer to me, and say 'sorry' I will then give them my attention. "

" Parenting for College can be a challenge, to say the least. As parents we strive for having the best for our child - better than we had - and balancing it with the financial commitments and institutional suitability for our kids.
I will walk you through the pitfalls, perils, joys, sorrows, financial negotiating, numerous strategies to help you get through Parenting For College. Sit back, relax, read, take notes, and feel free to ask questions. This subject Parenting For College is not for the faint of heart.
My wife and I went through this the first time, starting approximately 2 years ago with our oldest daughter, and we will begin another journey through this mystery with our youngest daughter in the next few months.
Along the way I will be writing about college visits; public vs. private instutions, pros & cons; completing FAFSA and TAP forms the first time, and then making corrections; negotiating with colleges on financial packages; and ultimately the final choice.
Thanks for reading. I will be back shortly. I am out for now.
-EDH "

" In December 2006, I wrote a column in The Citizen about the birth of our first and only child. I now report to our online readers nearly two years later that I'm still as confused as I was when our girl was born, but for different reasons. Instead of trying to figure out what Ella wants, my wife and I spend considerable time these days figuring out how to tell her she can't have what she wants without producing what we lovingly call a "protester tantrum," where our little angel will start screaming with all her might while throwing herself down to the ground like a protester who refuses to move off the street.
The best advice I've received for these moments is to ignore these tantrums, but it's so much easier said than done. Are there any other techniques out there for telling a toddler she can't have something or do somethign that she really wants to do? "