�“The world will never starve for want of wonders.”

- G. K. Chesterton

Well, folks, check your calendars because we have at this time of the year an event so big it can only be called one thing, The Great New York State Fair!

Ah, the fair, where else can you go to see sculptures made from butter, sand and cheese all in the same day? Or stand in line for a half hour just to get a glass of chocolate milk for a quarter?

Want to see a monkey ride on top of a dog like a furry jockey? You can do that here. How about seeing a statue of a man that suddenly moves? It's there but, this one creeps me out a bit, because the guy just stands there and you actually start to believe that he's made of stone. That is until you get close enough to have your picture taken next to him when suddenly you feel an arm on your shoulder that wasn't there a minute ago. Now, as you pee in your pants from the shock, you have to act casual because there are about 100 people looking on.

Soiled self aside, ever since I was little I have always loved what the fair had to offer and this year has been no different. Just flipping through the program my anticipation grew, though I was a bit baffled by one act in particular. It says that, this year, there will be Pirates Of The Sky performing three to four times daily.

For those unfamiliar, it involves a troupe of acrobats dancing on a tightrope 50 feet in the air. Normally that wouldn't faze me but, it's the fact that they bill the group three or four times daily that makes me nervous. For all I know they are just covering all the bases in case something goes wrong during the matinee, but it did seem suspicious.

My favorite part of all though is the Center of Progress building. Here is a chance to get a glimpse into the latest advances that science in New York has to offer. And from what I gather the future is .. shammys? Everywhere you turn someone is trying to sell you a multicolored roll of shammys. Have I missed something here? When did we, as a state, become so accident prone? I mean, the guy is standing on his little stage just dousing the table top with soda and water all the while smiling and laughing as he sops up his spill while we in the audience stood in awe at this wondrous of human inventions. The best part is the children watching all this unfold and all I kept thinking was one of these kids is going to go home and turn his countertop into Niagara Falls. Will he be getting a shammy? Probably not; more like a spanky if anything.

But I have to say I enjoyed myself and as I headed out to find my car I wondered why it was that the last show of the Flying Pirates was postponed. Perhaps there is a job opening as we speak.

Auburn native Bradley Molloy's column appears here, each Sunday, in The Citizen.

He can be reached at lovonian@hotmail.com