It's back-to-school time, but I probably didn't have to tell you that.

Your first not so subtle hints probably came from the retail industry. Sunday fliers are filled with shopping ads featuring rock bottom pricing on pocket folders and erasers. Display cases of school supply lists are placed prominently at the front of every store you walk in to. Clothing companies have put out their brightest window signs and flooded the airways with commercials.

Kids have noticed the signs too. They have probably already begun talking about the brand of sneakers they want in between moans of how hard it will be to get up early again or how fast the summer went by.

Back to school time can bring excitement and anxiety to both parents and children. While the obvious downside is all that money we have to spend on clothing and items to stuff the backpacks, which will hit the floor and become a further nuisance for months to come.

However, I do often hear from parents that they will be glad when their kids go back to school because it gets their household back into a predictable schedule.

The daily routine of getting off to school in the morning, afternoon extra-curricular activities and homework in the evenings is a welcome relief to many parents who have spent their summer juggling their kids activities or lack of activities with work, family and vacation schedules. Hosting sleepovers, carting the kids and their friends around town and hearing the whine “I'm bored. There's nothing to do” is enough to make a parent snap.

Children are also dealing with mixed emotions at this time of year. Many are anxious to get back to school to see their friends or participate in sports or clubs.

But almost every kid, no matter what age, will also be at least a little bit nervous about going back.

I understand some kids will worry about their clothes, hair and make-up but more often, and more serious, fears I hear from kids are if they know anybody in their classes, if they will like their teachers, will they find a group of friends to fit in with and will they be able to keep up with the schoolwork.

Feelings like these are very natural. They come from a need to feel accepted, and this is a very normal part of being human.

Unfortunately, there is no store to pick up a sale on self-confidence. And because children are all different, there is no exact formula to follow. But there are things a parent (grandparents, extended family, friends and neighbors) can do to help ease anxieties about going back to school.

Use those shopping trips to your advantage. Talk openly with kids about their hopes and fears for the coming school year. Ask them what they are looking forward to and what they are nervous about. Validate their feelings; let them know it's OK to be nervous and that other kids are also feeling the same.

I think kids appreciate it when adults are honest. So avoid sugarcoating any situation by promising them that everything will be OK. Help them have realistic expectations about school and friendships.

Not every day will be a “High School Musical” day. Doing your best at school is hard work. There will be good days and bad days along the way.

Getting to know your child's teachers, counselors and principal is a great way to help your child be successful in school. Most school personnel use e-mail now and this is a very easy and convenient way to stay in touch with them.

Look for opportunities to visit the school as often as possible. Open house, concerts and special events are held in every school throughout the year. Getting to know as much about your child's school environment as possible will give you lots of new things to talk about.

Helping your child understand and achieve a balance of schoolwork, activities, friends, family time and alone time is perhaps the most important, and challenging, way to ease back into the school year.

Academic and social activities are both important for a child to be well rounded. It is equally important for a child to feel secure and be well rested in order for them to be ready to learn. Helping kids achieve a healthy balance is not easy. It is hard to say no when kids are begging to join another activity or stay up late to watch something on TV. I won't sugar coat this either - it can be difficult, but it is very necessary for parents to set and enforce rules that may have slacked off on during the summer months.

Finally, parents or caregiver should trust their instincts about a child's needs and behavior. If the child seems to have a very intense fear of going back to school or fears that gradually worsens as school approaches, you may wish to seek professional advice. Some children show signs of stress through physical aliments such as tummy aches, sleep problems, depression or aggression.

Don't hesitate to contact the school counselor or family doctor if you have any concerns. The earlier you address these concerns the better results you will see. As you make your lists and run from store to store, try to remember what really matters is not the size of the crayon box you buy but the time and attention you put into your relationship with your child. They grow up fast, so enjoy the process.

Annette Abdelaziz is executive director of the Auburn Education Foundation. Contact her at annette_abdelaziz@auburn.cnyric.org or call 255-8827.