“My biggest problem is what to do about all the things I can't do anything about.”
- Ashleigh Brilliant
I'm apologizing early because I don't want to start your Sunday off on the wrong foot, but there are a few things eroding my patience lately and if I don't vent soon I'm going to end up like one of those cartoon characters with the smoke coming out of my ears.
One: the Fourth of July holiday is past us so can we please stop setting off bottle rockets at 11 o'clock at night? I know it's a fun split-second thrill, so is getting my paycheck every week, but you don't see me sharing that with the neighborhood do you?
Second: I want the war to end. I'm tired of all this false patriotic banter and the networks going on about how, if we were just able to find Osama Bin Laden, all of the worlds terrors would go away. Now if the government was to ask me what we should do I would have just five words for their consideration. Lynn Lepak and Joseph Spinosa. The names might be unfamiliar but trust me you've not only seen these blue clad public servants but I bet you too have felt the fear that comes when they suddenly; stop walking.
Are these guys some crack commando unit you've never heard about? No, they're the guys that are always running around the city handing out parking tickets. All we need to do is tell one of them that a red flag is about to go up in Pakistan and then send them in. What the military intelligence committees couldn't do in seven years these gentlemen will accomplish in under an hour. Those two quick steppers are like parking meter ninjas. They are everywhere and nowhere all at the same time.
Furthermore, I ask you, how comical would it be to witness the most notorious terrorist, ever to live, suddenly go sprinting out of his cave just to put another quarter in the meter before his time runs out? I know I myself would pay the $10 fine just to see Mr. Bin Laden try and talk his way out of the ticket. These two guys don't even know the meaning of the word negotiation.
Lastly, I just want to point out that we have advanced so far technologically that we can send a robot on a million mile field trip to Mars, touching down with such precise accuracy that it can roll off the landing pad and start digging in the dirt like a kid at the beach, but, with that image in mind, why is it that anyone driving an SUV can't seem to get it in between the white lines at Wegmans? My feeling is that if you can't park it then you shouldn't drive it. And I realize that your four wheel drive tank comes with more air bags than Congress but that doesn't mean you have to actually use them; so slow down. It's Grant Avenue not the Grand Prix!
Auburn native Bradley Molloy's column appears here,
each Sunday in The Citizen.
He can be reached at
lovonian@hotmail.com
I'm apologizing early because I don't want to start your Sunday off on the wrong foot, but there are a few things eroding my patience lately and if I don't vent soon I'm going to end up like one of those cartoon characters with the smoke coming out of my ears.
One: the Fourth of July holiday is past us so can we please stop setting off bottle rockets at 11 o'clock at night? I know it's a fun split-second thrill, so is getting my paycheck every week, but you don't see me sharing that with the neighborhood do you?
Second: I want the war to end. I'm tired of all this false patriotic banter and the networks going on about how, if we were just able to find Osama Bin Laden, all of the worlds terrors would go away. Now if the government was to ask me what we should do I would have just five words for their consideration. Lynn Lepak and Joseph Spinosa. The names might be unfamiliar but trust me you've not only seen these blue clad public servants but I bet you too have felt the fear that comes when they suddenly; stop walking.
Are these guys some crack commando unit you've never heard about? No, they're the guys that are always running around the city handing out parking tickets. All we need to do is tell one of them that a red flag is about to go up in Pakistan and then send them in. What the military intelligence committees couldn't do in seven years these gentlemen will accomplish in under an hour. Those two quick steppers are like parking meter ninjas. They are everywhere and nowhere all at the same time.
Furthermore, I ask you, how comical would it be to witness the most notorious terrorist, ever to live, suddenly go sprinting out of his cave just to put another quarter in the meter before his time runs out? I know I myself would pay the $10 fine just to see Mr. Bin Laden try and talk his way out of the ticket. These two guys don't even know the meaning of the word negotiation.
Lastly, I just want to point out that we have advanced so far technologically that we can send a robot on a million mile field trip to Mars, touching down with such precise accuracy that it can roll off the landing pad and start digging in the dirt like a kid at the beach, but, with that image in mind, why is it that anyone driving an SUV can't seem to get it in between the white lines at Wegmans? My feeling is that if you can't park it then you shouldn't drive it. And I realize that your four wheel drive tank comes with more air bags than Congress but that doesn't mean you have to actually use them; so slow down. It's Grant Avenue not the Grand Prix!
Auburn native Bradley Molloy's column appears here,
each Sunday in The Citizen.
He can be reached at
lovonian@hotmail.com
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Post your comment - click hereThere are 3 comment(s)
cm wrote on Jul 30, 2008 8:35 AM:
So there must be alot of birds still hanging around here.
Last night the neighborhood Owl was outside my bedroom window--HOOT HOOT, at times he was making the frogs shut up so I didn't mind--Hoot all he wants!
Sometimes if you return home in the wee hours, you might get lucky and spot him sitting a top a mailbox (our mailboxes are the street not on the houses)
He is very large, and will just stare at you, it's amazing to see Hootie so close!
the fireworks dont scare him off, I think it makes him happy since it will chase off other birds and more food for him! "
irritated wrote on Jul 30, 2008 8:00 AM:
blueyankee443 wrote on Jul 29, 2008 7:45 AM:
are a team,but even here a common sense
appeal would be justified if a ticket is not justified,by allowing for circum
stances when presented.The fire works
display,is not anything wrong,as its a
legal,firing.Just because someone wants
to have fun on a boring night,as there
are no places to go for teens,so if you
]were not there,you would not have any
complaint.Its probably a mistake,but ho
w many times do you park evenly in a pa
ralel parking space.Every time you back
into a space,you are backing up on a
main thoroughfare,causing problems for
other drivers,who have to swerve from your vehicle. Is your vehicle,getting
better milage,if not,where is the complaint? Have a Good Day "