How can I get my children to eat what they need to be healthy? Why is my child so picky about foods?

Feeding children can be a frustrating experience for parents and other adults in their lives when children refuse to eat what is served. The best intentions of having children eat the right foods in the right amounts so that they grow up healthy and well nourished can lead to food pushing by adults that results in constant food battles. To see it from a child's perspective, imagine eating dinner with a giant hanging over you, watching every bite you take and saying things like “take another bite of the carrots” and “you're going to sit here until you finish what is on your plate.”

What does that do to your appetite?

Divide and conquer. Based on feeding relationship studies by Ellyn Satter, we have learned that feeding children works best when there is a division of responsibility. The parent or adult who is providing the food is responsible for what, when and where food is offered. The child is responsible for whether to eat, what to eat and how much to eat. Until adults interfere, children are very good at recognizing their hunger. Forcing a child to eat when not hungry, teaches the child to ignore hunger signals and eat just because food is available. “Clean your plate” teaches the child to continue eating, even when he or she is full. Most adults are not very responsive to hunger and full signals because when they were children they were forced to eat regardless of hunger or fullness.

Make meals and snacks predictable. Children have small stomachs and need to eat about six times a day. If they are not hungry for a meal or snack, it will only be a couple of hours until the next chance to eat. Snacks that include nutritious foods, such as cereal, cheese, milk, yogurt, bread products, fruits and vegetables can fill in for some of the foods a child might have declined to eat at a meal. Sweets and salty snacks are not forbidden but should be only an occasional treat.

Do not be a short order cook. If a child does not want to eat what is served for a meal, the adult in charge should absolutely not offer a substitute. Including fruit and bread as part of meals makes it more likely that a child will find something to eat. For many years, my kitchen had a sign that read: “There will be two choices for dinner: Take it or leave it.” Children are more likely to eat what is served when they know that is all that there is to eat.

Adults should control food access. If children are hungry when a meal is served, they are more likely to eat well and try new foods. To be sure children are hungry enough to eat when a meal is served, do not allow food or beverages an hour or less before the meal. Allowing constant grazing or fruit juice from a sippy cup all day long means that the child is unlikely to feel hungry enough to eat much at a meal. The adults in the home should be the gatekeepers of the food. Children should not be allowed to grab food or beg for food when it is not time for a meal or snack.

Stay calm but firm. Do not get into a power struggle with children over food, and do not give in to whining and other negative behavior. Serve good food at predictable times and back off. The more attention you give to children's eating, the less likely it is that they will eat well.

Do not reward or praise good food choices. Do not punish for not eating. If adults set a good example and eat well themselves, children will follow their example.

For more information on feeding children well, visit www.ellynsatter.com.

Christine Gutelius, MA, RD, CDN, is a nutrition resource educator with the Eat Smart NY program at Cornell Cooperative Extension of Cayuga County

Fruit Scones

Makes 24 scones

1 egg

1 cup buttermilk (or 1 cup milk+1 tablespoon lemon juice)

3 tablespoons oil

2 teaspoons grated orange peel

1/2 cup oatmeal (uncooked)

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

1/3 cup brown sugar

1 tablespoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 cups dried cranberries (or other dried or chopped fresh fruit, such as apple)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Beat egg in small bowl. Stir in buttermilk. Stir in oil and orange peel. In a large bowl, mix together oatmeal, flours, brown sugar, baking powder and salt. Stir in the fruit. Pour the buttermilk mixture into the dry mixture, stirring just until the dough comes together. Do not overmix.

If the dough is too dry, add 1-2 tablespoons of milk. Spray a cookie sheet with nonstick spray. Drop heaping tablespoons of dough onto the cookie sheet. Bake for 15 minutes or until slightly golden on top.

- Source: Recipe modified from Berkeley Unified School District Breakfast Program