Because boredom has set in and we're all missing India, we have planned a party to share our unique Rotary Group Study Exchange experience with our friends and family.
First thing to know about a Rotary GSE trip is that everything is out of your control, and in India, there is no concept of time. Also, this will be a BYOTP party, so bring a roll of toilet paper or stuff wads of tissue in your pockets along with hand sanitizer and your own water because this will likely not be provided. We were given this much info, so heed this advice. All guests must arrive in khaki pants and a white or black T-shirt with a nametag the size of their head. Before entering the party, guests will be given a sandalwood garland, a jasmine garland and a lemon. The sandalwood is great to liven up your outfit since after a few minutes, its hue will leave yellow streaks on your blouse. We'll also dot your forehead with a red streak of vermilion.
Don't forget to take your shoes off before entering. And don't worry, it's very clean. We've sanitized the ground by rubbing cow dung paste into it. After meeting every host, it's picture time. After a few snaps, don't move! There will be at least eight more.
How could we not feed you the minute you arrived? Forgive us; please come. You must drink tea, eat bland “biscuits” and try at least five other items - just as starters. We'll eat a three-hour dinner - when we get to it.
Have you had enough? Want to escape into the bathroom? You'll be greeted by the smell of mothballs and an assortment of buckets. Soap, toilet paper and a washcloth will not be provided and no explanation will be given as to how to proceed. In addition, there will be no garbage pail - in the bathroom or any other room for that matter.
Lastly, you will not be provided with silverware, so you must eat with your hands. Proper etiquette is to eat with your right hand and serve with your left. Even if you are left handed (and brilliant), this rule still applies. Also, food should not venture over the fingernails. This will be a challenge as you will also eat standing up.
Since our party guests are friends and family, we'll provide a curtsy warning when eating meat - for example, a dish with chicken will include bones - sharp, rigid bones. To make such a dish, the entire chicken will be chopped up, bones included and stewed in a curry. Afterwards, you can have a drink. If you'd like, try filtered or boiled water, luke warm; coconut water, or whiskey. If you look adventurous, we'll offer a thick, warm glass of buttermilk. By now we can sense you are tired. So we'll only talk to you for one more hour and then finally offer you rest ... actually demand that you “please take rest.” After 10 minutes, we'll whisk you off to the next destination. We'll ask, “Refreshed?” Now repeat multiple times for a month straight, and you have a peak at the stamina required to be a GSE member. But with all humor aside, I'd sign up again in a heartbeat.
Don't forget to take your shoes off before entering. And don't worry, it's very clean. We've sanitized the ground by rubbing cow dung paste into it. After meeting every host, it's picture time. After a few snaps, don't move! There will be at least eight more.
How could we not feed you the minute you arrived? Forgive us; please come. You must drink tea, eat bland “biscuits” and try at least five other items - just as starters. We'll eat a three-hour dinner - when we get to it.
Have you had enough? Want to escape into the bathroom? You'll be greeted by the smell of mothballs and an assortment of buckets. Soap, toilet paper and a washcloth will not be provided and no explanation will be given as to how to proceed. In addition, there will be no garbage pail - in the bathroom or any other room for that matter.
Lastly, you will not be provided with silverware, so you must eat with your hands. Proper etiquette is to eat with your right hand and serve with your left. Even if you are left handed (and brilliant), this rule still applies. Also, food should not venture over the fingernails. This will be a challenge as you will also eat standing up.
Since our party guests are friends and family, we'll provide a curtsy warning when eating meat - for example, a dish with chicken will include bones - sharp, rigid bones. To make such a dish, the entire chicken will be chopped up, bones included and stewed in a curry. Afterwards, you can have a drink. If you'd like, try filtered or boiled water, luke warm; coconut water, or whiskey. If you look adventurous, we'll offer a thick, warm glass of buttermilk. By now we can sense you are tired. So we'll only talk to you for one more hour and then finally offer you rest ... actually demand that you “please take rest.” After 10 minutes, we'll whisk you off to the next destination. We'll ask, “Refreshed?” Now repeat multiple times for a month straight, and you have a peak at the stamina required to be a GSE member. But with all humor aside, I'd sign up again in a heartbeat.
The Citizens' Say
There are No comments posted.