Editors' note: In light of the recent arrest of a former local Boy Scouts volunteer on child sex abuse charges, we have agreed to publish the following column from a local child counseling professional to give families additional information on how to deal with these situations:

I have worked for over 25 years in a profession in which the trauma and life-changing effects of childhood sexual abuse is most evident. In my educational presentations I often give the statistics that one in three girls and one in five boys will be sexually abused in some way before their 18th birthday. Those are overwhelming statistics, but what is more overwhelming is that those statistics represent children, sweet, innocent, vulnerable children.

As a mother, I was constantly aware of the dangers my daughters faced, but realized that I could not protect them at all times. Now as a grandmother, that awareness of my grandchildren's vulnerability still haunts me.

You who read this as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and concerned adults, probably have faced the same fears and concerns. I want to give you information that might help you to help the children in your life.

The reality is that as vigilant as we are to protect our children, we do not have control 24 hours a day. Even the most protected children may be vulnerable to perpetrators who present themselves as kind, caring and trustworthy people. Perpetrators who prey on children are experienced and practiced at presenting themselves in a positive light to those around them. It is often even difficult for trained professionals to determine if someone is a possible perpetrator.

We give the children in our lives safety rules that make them less vulnerable. You can teach them to follow the “buddy system,” to say “no” if they are uncomfortable with a situation and to get away, and most importantly, to talk to an adult if they have any concerns.�

These safety rules can be taught just as we teach fire safety or any other kind of safety. But even with these rules, we still need to be aware of children's great capacity for trust and their vulnerability to those who might take advantage of that trust.

If your child indicates to you in any way that they have been a victim of sexual abuse, listen to them and believe them. It is extremely rare that a child makes up stories about being abused. They need you to listen to as much as they want to tell you. It is important that you don't pry for more information or ask leading questions of them. Remember, the more the child is asked to repeat the story, the more likely the child is to think that the adults involved don't believe them.

It is most important that you let them know that this was not their fault and that you love them and are there to protect them. This is something that must be reported to law enforcement in order to protect your child and other children. The law enforcement investigator is trained to interview children in a way that doesn't add further trauma but will provide information needed to ensure that the perpetrator is stopped.

Not all abused children will disclose verbally, but many will display indicators of abuse which should be red flags to those who love them that there is a problem in the child's life. As you read these indicators, please realize that they may be signs of other problems other then sexual abuse. They do alert you to the fact that you need to talk to your child to find what the problem is.

Some of the signs to be aware of: depression, sleep disturbances, decline in school performance, detailed and age-inappropriate understanding of sexual behavior and/or sexually acting out with peers, toys or themselves. The last two indicators of course are more likely if the child has been a victim of sexual abuse. These indicators tell you that you need to get help for your child.

There is help available in Cayuga County if you find that your child has been victimized. S.A.V.A.R. (Sexual Assault Victim's Advocate Resource) of Cayuga Counseling Services provides free and confidential services and support to victims of sexual assault and abuse and to their families. Services provided include therapists who are knowledgeable in working with children. Therapy can be a positive step in moving a child from being a victim to being a survivor with increased self-esteem and decreased vulnerability.

S.A.V.A.R. also provides advocacy for the child and family as they work through involvement with legal and sometimes medical issues. There is also a hotline available if parents have questions about the possibility that their child has been abused or if the need for support comes at a time when offices might not be open. The hotline number is 252-2112. To contact S.A.V.A.R. during the business day, you may call 253-9795 and receive information and the services that will help your child.

�Rosa Grube is an education coordinator for SAVAR of Cayuga Counseling Services