My granddaughter has written two important letters recently. The first, to the tooth fairy, said “I wonder if you are doing your job by yourself. I think that Mom and Dad are helping you. I will find out.”

The second letter was written after she and I stood in a long line waiting to talk to Santa. After she talked to Santa, she said to me “I know that was one of Santa's helpers. Now I'm going to write a letter to the real Santa.”

After she wrote to Santa about her hopes for Christmas, she wrote P.S. “I know you have a sister, the house fairy, who helps too.”

What struck me was that at her young age she accepts the fact that no one can do it (whatever it is) on their own. Hey, look at all those elves who are busy helping Santa out. The guy gets a lot of help. And why should we expect more of ourselves than Santa.

Why is it that so often when we have problems or tasks that seem overwhelming, we feel that we must bear the load alone? Because I work at Cayuga Counseling Services, a place where people can turn for help when feeling overwhelmed with life's challenges, I am acutely aware that this is a difficult time of year for many people. Our expectations are high for the perfect Christmas. We want to experience all the joy that we see reflected from our TV screens. Our families should be perfectly behaved, and we should be able to accomplish superhuman tasks to make them happy.

The truth is that if you look at holidays past and don't have all happy memories, you are not alone. If you look at the tasks ahead to make this a “perfect” holiday and feel overwhelmed, you have something in common with most of us.

And if the idea of this holiday season causes you to feel a bit depressed, you too are not alone. At a time when childhood memories come flooding back, issues that may not have been dealt with as a child surface. The realization that current problems in everyday living are related to those issues of the past can be a wake up call to give ourselves the gift of a healthy future.

There is hope and there is help. Reach out and talk to someone. You may choose to turn to family and friends or you may seek help and support from one of the helping agencies in our community.

I find that the directory “Living in Cayuga County” published by The Citizen is a good resource when you are looking for services that might fit your need. If you can not quite put a handle on what your need is, but realize that it is time to reach out, you might call the Contact hotline at (877) 400-8740. That's a toll free number that provides 24-hour counseling, crisis intervention and information and referral services. Calling specific agencies such as Cayuga County Community Mental Health at 253-0341 might lead you to the help you need. Cayuga Counseling Services Inc. is another option. Calling the clinic at Cayuga Counseling Services at 253-9795 is a positive step which can lead to a variety of services which might just be the answer to a healthier and happier New Year and beyond.

Be kind to yourself. Personally, I don't read those glowing, “my life is perfect and my children amazing” letters that I receive in my holiday cards and I order Chinese for Christmas dinner. Cope in a way that works best for you. It won't be perfect, but I do wish you a peaceful holiday with hope for a joyful future.

Rosa Grube is an education coordinator for SAVAR of Cayuga Counseling Services.