“We know what we are, but not what we may become#”

- William Shakespeare

It's that time of year again, dear friends. Time to throw away the person you have worked so hard to become for one night and transform yourself into someone else.

Oh, Halloween, that special holiday where we all get to act crazy, eat tiny candies and stare at women dressed up in outfits that usually require an expensive dinner reservation before you get to enjoy the show.

Like most people, I like Halloween, but you have to admit it's sort of a hypocritical holiday. It's a time when we disperse with the whole “don't take candy from strangers” rule and throw it out the window. And let's not forget the fact that we get to forgo any of those child safety guidelines.

How's that?

Well, you tell me when at any point during the past year have you ever handed your little rug rats a sharp steak knife, then a pumpkin and expect some happy memory to transpire. Also we never really talk to our neighbors, but on this night we just walk up and down the streets knocking on any door with a light on.

The only problem with the trick-or-treat season is that you have to pick the right look. This is your chance to really make an impression, though if that's a good thing or bad is all up to you.

Note to the male population: Suit up as an Indian, a cowboy, policeman, construction worker, biker or an Army guy and you'll have no one to blame but yourself for all the Village People references you'll be dealing with all evening long. Also, unless you are totally ripped, don't go as a Chippendale dancer either. Trust me, from past personal experience this is not a look that you can just pull off if you're on the slim side.

I tossed and turned on what to be and finally decided to take the easy way out and dress up in drag. Now it didn't start out that way. I was in the department store shopping and there was some summer swimming shorts left in a bin, but they were red and white striped. I initially thought that perhaps I'd be a beach bum but when I tried them on I looked more like Richard Simmons; which is basically the same thing anyway, so I went with a dress instead.

Now there are some things you have to prepare for when making the decision to tap into your feminine side.

First you'll need a big ego because there is nothing more deflating than having to ask a teenage Hillary Duff wannabe salesgirl what eye shadow looks best on a 35-year-old man who normally doesn't apply makeup. It can be discouraging but, on the plus side, I found out I was a “winter,” whatever that meant. Maybe she was just trying to gently tell me to go as a snowflake instead of a diva.

My self image dented, I left with a bag filled with powders and lipstick and went out to enjoy the night, and that's the point of the holiday in a nutshell.

Auburn native Bradley Molloy's column appears here, each

Sunday, in The Citizen.

He can be reached at lovonian@hotmail.com