My readers send me humorous contributions for this column.

€ I'll never make the mistake of being 70 again!

- Casey Stengel

€ You've reached old age when the gleam in your eye is just the sun on your bifocals.

- Anonymous

€ Getting old has its advantages. I can no longer read the bathroom scale.

- Dot Nelson

€ Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.

- Maurice Chevalier

€ My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.

- Ronnie Shakes

I ran into Uncle Sven on Genesee Street last week. He was all excited.

“Dorothy, you've got to listen to my latest poem! I got it right here!”

“Read away,” I said. “I like to encourage those ‘lovely lyrics' of yours!”

Sven cleared his throat and began reading from his long yellow-lined sheet.

Poem

I feel so bad for Uncle Ted,

There's not much hair upon his head.

And, what is worse, he barely hears --

There's too much hair in his ears!

Well, I had to laugh. Sven himself is bald and deaf!

Nelson lives and writes in Auburn