Cory Spakman, a 32-year-old father died in an accident while chased by the police Thursday. The father went to the mother's home and begged to see his children. Instead, the mother used an order of protection and called the police. The father left voluntarily. The mother alleges he threatened to kill himself and a policeman. As he was traveling back to the city, the police spotted his car and went on a chase that ended Cory's life. No gun was found in the car. In hindsight, would it not have been better if the police waited until the father cooled off? And what is the child to think of the mother and police when he grows up and finds his father died in an attempt to see him?
Since the courts of New York state keep divorce proceedings secret we can only speculate on further details. But I have an opinion.
According to Sheriff Gould, the vast majority of murder/suicide cases are domestic in origin. Most I know of involve rights of fathers to their children.
In life, every act can be traced to one or more causes. Remove the cause and the action will not take place. Could one of the causes of his death be traced to a ruling of the judge awarding sole physical custody of the child to the mother granting the father only some vague visitation rights or rights the mother refuses to honor?
Suppose that the judge had ruled “Sir the child carries 50 percent of your genes, and you are awarded physical custody 50 percent of the time, six months out of the year: Sept. 1 to Feb. 28. And you the mother, the other 50 percent the remainder of the year. Work out any trades to the schedule in a civil manner. If either of you refuses to accept your fair share of custody then directly pay the other parent for support in the amount as determined by this court.”
In my opinion, fathers would have little or no need to beg for visitation, and little need for lawyers. I also believe that the number of such unnecessary deaths of mothers and fathers (like Cory) would plummet. As a bonus, unwed mothers would get more marriage proposals, and the divorce rate would plummet because a mother would want to be with her children (as would a father) 100 percent of the time not just 50. A win-win for all, especially children.
Peter Kotzer
Auburn
According to Sheriff Gould, the vast majority of murder/suicide cases are domestic in origin. Most I know of involve rights of fathers to their children.
In life, every act can be traced to one or more causes. Remove the cause and the action will not take place. Could one of the causes of his death be traced to a ruling of the judge awarding sole physical custody of the child to the mother granting the father only some vague visitation rights or rights the mother refuses to honor?
Suppose that the judge had ruled “Sir the child carries 50 percent of your genes, and you are awarded physical custody 50 percent of the time, six months out of the year: Sept. 1 to Feb. 28. And you the mother, the other 50 percent the remainder of the year. Work out any trades to the schedule in a civil manner. If either of you refuses to accept your fair share of custody then directly pay the other parent for support in the amount as determined by this court.”
In my opinion, fathers would have little or no need to beg for visitation, and little need for lawyers. I also believe that the number of such unnecessary deaths of mothers and fathers (like Cory) would plummet. As a bonus, unwed mothers would get more marriage proposals, and the divorce rate would plummet because a mother would want to be with her children (as would a father) 100 percent of the time not just 50. A win-win for all, especially children.
Peter Kotzer
Auburn
