I work for SAVAR (Sexual Assault Victim's Advocate Resource) of Cayuga Counseling Services. In the 10 years that I have been with the program, I have been privileged to meet some strong and resilient people. These people have had a positive influence on my life and on the lives of others.
In my last article, I talked about an outstanding volunteer.
Today I would like to share a letter from a young woman whom I knew as a survivor of abuse, a volunteer with our program and a friend. We correspond by e-mail, and I asked her to reflect on her life in Auburn. Her hope is that people who need services from SAVAR will come forward and those who wish to be part of the solution will also come forward to volunteer with SAVAR.
When I look back and think of my years growing up in Auburn, I do not only recall the moments spent with family and friends but I also remember the worst times of my life - the years I have tagged as “the nightmare years.”
For five years, from the time I was 11 until the age of 16, my body was used and abused, my innocence stripped away for the pleasure of another being. I was a terrified little girl - the victim of a savage beast who had vowed to love my mother and take care of her and her family.
Following my escape from the abuse, I made several attempts to escape from my reality. I involved myself in school sports, extracurricular activities and community service organizations; however, I needed more. I needed help, support and understanding. I needed someone to help me get rid of the guilt, release the pain and feel beautiful.
In 1996, I sought out the services of SAVAR. With the support and understanding of people such as Rosa, Patsy, Sally, Anita and Katherine, I was able to move from a victim to a survivor of sexual abuse. It is important that I recognize these individuals that assisted me during this time. They are not only people doing a job - they are caring people. They are advocates. They are individuals who are passionate about their jobs and the people that they work with. And they have each been an inspiration to me and have guided me to take the path I have chosen.
Throughout high school and college I continued with SAVAR - not as a client but as a volunteer. I learned that through working with others I could help myself - empower myself. I was able to understand and relate to the passion demonstrated by those who had helped me.
In 2003, I graduated from Wells College with a bachelor's of psychology. I have enjoyed using my life experiences to interact with youth and families in community settings, detention facilities and residential treatment facilities.
On Aug. 7, 2006, I became Mrs. Crystal Rozelle-Bennett, and in October 2006, I relocated to Virginia Beach with my husband, Elijah, who is stationed in the U.S. Navy. I currently work as a family counselor with foster families and youth that have experienced trauma in their life. My husband and I are anticipating the arrival of our first child, a baby boy, at the end of October.
This is not meant to be read as a fairy tale story. It is my attempt to unveil the face behind the mask that I have hidden behind for so many years. Inside of me there will always be the terrified little girl that is afraid of the man in the dark.
But inside of me there is also the woman that armed herself and fought back. I refused to let myself become my perpetrator's creation; but I have allowed the sexual abuse to influence the creation of who I am.
I have no regrets for the way I have lived my life. I recognize that it is not my fault that I was sexually abused. Sexual abuse is a crime and no one deserves to be stripped of their innocence ... their pride. Life goes on and you take control of your life. Take back your body and recognize that you are a beautiful individual who is worthy to be loved.
Rosa Grube is an education coordinator for SAVAR of Cayuga Counseling Services.
Today I would like to share a letter from a young woman whom I knew as a survivor of abuse, a volunteer with our program and a friend. We correspond by e-mail, and I asked her to reflect on her life in Auburn. Her hope is that people who need services from SAVAR will come forward and those who wish to be part of the solution will also come forward to volunteer with SAVAR.
When I look back and think of my years growing up in Auburn, I do not only recall the moments spent with family and friends but I also remember the worst times of my life - the years I have tagged as “the nightmare years.”
For five years, from the time I was 11 until the age of 16, my body was used and abused, my innocence stripped away for the pleasure of another being. I was a terrified little girl - the victim of a savage beast who had vowed to love my mother and take care of her and her family.
Following my escape from the abuse, I made several attempts to escape from my reality. I involved myself in school sports, extracurricular activities and community service organizations; however, I needed more. I needed help, support and understanding. I needed someone to help me get rid of the guilt, release the pain and feel beautiful.
In 1996, I sought out the services of SAVAR. With the support and understanding of people such as Rosa, Patsy, Sally, Anita and Katherine, I was able to move from a victim to a survivor of sexual abuse. It is important that I recognize these individuals that assisted me during this time. They are not only people doing a job - they are caring people. They are advocates. They are individuals who are passionate about their jobs and the people that they work with. And they have each been an inspiration to me and have guided me to take the path I have chosen.
Throughout high school and college I continued with SAVAR - not as a client but as a volunteer. I learned that through working with others I could help myself - empower myself. I was able to understand and relate to the passion demonstrated by those who had helped me.
In 2003, I graduated from Wells College with a bachelor's of psychology. I have enjoyed using my life experiences to interact with youth and families in community settings, detention facilities and residential treatment facilities.
On Aug. 7, 2006, I became Mrs. Crystal Rozelle-Bennett, and in October 2006, I relocated to Virginia Beach with my husband, Elijah, who is stationed in the U.S. Navy. I currently work as a family counselor with foster families and youth that have experienced trauma in their life. My husband and I are anticipating the arrival of our first child, a baby boy, at the end of October.
This is not meant to be read as a fairy tale story. It is my attempt to unveil the face behind the mask that I have hidden behind for so many years. Inside of me there will always be the terrified little girl that is afraid of the man in the dark.
But inside of me there is also the woman that armed herself and fought back. I refused to let myself become my perpetrator's creation; but I have allowed the sexual abuse to influence the creation of who I am.
I have no regrets for the way I have lived my life. I recognize that it is not my fault that I was sexually abused. Sexual abuse is a crime and no one deserves to be stripped of their innocence ... their pride. Life goes on and you take control of your life. Take back your body and recognize that you are a beautiful individual who is worthy to be loved.
Rosa Grube is an education coordinator for SAVAR of Cayuga Counseling Services.
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