A new book titled “Age Happens,” by Bruce Lonsky, is full of quotes on growing older, such as:

€ When I was young, the Dead Sea was alive. - George Burns

€ My health is good; it's my age that's bad. - Roy Acuff

€ There are three signs of old age: Loss of memory, ... I forgot the other two. - Red Skelton

€ “Don't worry about senility,” my grandfather used to say, “When it hits you, you won't know it.” - Bill Cosby

€ It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. - Anonymous

€ At my age I don't care if my mind starts to wander - just so it comes back again. - Mike Knowles

€ The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy. - Anonymous

€ I don't feel 80. In fact, I don't feel anything 'til noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope

€ Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. - Satchel Paige

€ Age is something that doesn't matter unless you are a cheese. - Billie Burke

€ Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. - Simone Signoret

€ You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas. - Lewis Grizzard

€ Last Will and Testament: “Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.” - Anonymous

€ As we get older, year by year, my husband always mourns: the less and less we feel our oats, the more we feel our corns! - Evelyn Wade

€ At my age, when a girl flirts with me in the movies, she's after my popcorn. - Milton Berle

€ Be nice to your children in your old age, for they will choose your rest home.

€ We seniors don't drink and drive. Our kids always have the car.

€ If I'd known how nice it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first.

€ Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans.

€ Life is full of misery, loneliness and suffering, and it's all over much too soon. - Woody Allen

€ Not only is life a bitch, it has puppies.

€ Life is a bowl of pits. - Rodney Dangerfield

€ Don't take life so seriously. It's not permanent. - Kathy Holder

€ My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else. - Woody Allen

€ Despite the cost of living, it's still quite popular. - Lawrence J. Peter

€ The future isn't what it used to be. - Linda Monker

€ If you're old enough to know better, you're too old to do it. - George Burns

€ The old believe everything; the middle age suspect everything; the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde

€ Remember, no matter how many candles you blow out this year, there's one gal who will always think of you as young, strong and handsome - your mother! - Susan D. Anderson

€ Old age is when you need a map after dialing a long-distance call. - Bruce Lansky

They bit and chewed and served me well, as through the years we ventured.

We had a falling out, and now my new teeth are indentured! - Sidney Kleinhenz

Old age isn't so bad, just don't let it get you down! These quotes seem to be true to us senior citizens, don't they? Send me one of yours!

Nelson lives and writes in Auburn.