Well, schools are open now, and the classrooms are filled with students learning their three Rs and more.

For starters, here are some conversations that might have taken place in Cayuga County over the summer.

Each year, Sam and Sarah went to the state fair, where Sam would ask Sarah to take a ride with him in an open biplane for $10. But each year Sarah would refuse, saying, $10 is $10.

Finally after several years of this, the pilot offered to take them for a ride for free if neither of them would say a word during the flight. Sam and Sarah agreed, and off they flew as the pilot took them through loops, spins and dives. They never said a word.

As they landed, the pilot said over his shoulder to Sam, I thought for sure youd say something with all the maneuvers I did.

I should have said something when Sarah fell out, Sam replied, But $10 is $10.

A freshman in high school brought home his class picture to his mom. She asked him to write something soft and mushy on the back of it.

So he wrote, Oatmeal.

Inside the jacket of a used textbook, the previous student added his own words of advice: In case of fire, throw in.

A 6-year-old boy asked his mother if its true that God made man from dust.

Yes, son, its true that were made from dust, and to dust we shall return, replied his mom.

Well, said the boy, I just looked under my bed, and theres someone either coming or going.

Comforting diet advice

Food eaten for medicinal purposes, such as chocolate for energy, have no calories.

Cookie pieces contain no calories because the breaking process causes caloric leakage.

If you eat standing up, the calories go to your feet and get walked off.

Stressed is dessert spelled backward.

A married couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, but the husband looked miserable. One of the guests finally asked him why.

The husband replied, Her father and three big brothers came to me and told me theyd throw me in jail for 20 years if I didnt marry her. I just cant help thinking that if Id chosen jail, Id be a free man by now.

Grade school lessons

Teacher: Why are you so late?

Pupil: Because of the sign.

Teacher: What sign?

Pupil: The one that says, School Ahead. Go Slow.

Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?

Pupil: HIJKLMNO.

Teacher: What are you talking about?

Pupil: Yesterday, you said it was H to O.

Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America.

George: Here it is.

Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

Class: George.

Teacher: Johnny, your composition My Dog is exactly the same as your brothers. Did you copy his?

Johnny: No, teacher. Its the same dog.

Cured of a Bad Habit

After years of trying, a wife finally got her husband to stop biting his nails. When asked how she did it after so many years of trying, she said, I hid his teeth.

Nelson lives and writes in Auburn