“Fear grows in darkness; if you think there's a bogeyman around, turn on the light.”

- Dorothy Thompson

Some people are really starting to push me over the brink.

No, it's not those people that ring the doorbell early in the morning on Saturday asking if I've “found Jesus.” I don't really mind the question and answer sessions these folks present me with, I just sort of take it in stride; though I never quite know how to answer them. The way I look at it is if he did decide to make a trip back to check out the sights, I'm pretty sure that crashing on my futon wouldn't be high up on his list of things to do.

No, the people that are really starting to bug me are all the Negative Nancys running around letting me know that we are all in grave danger.

It used to be just a guy in a sandwich board with the words “The end is near” painted on it, but now everywhere I look and turn there is another terrible event that is about to unfold. For some reason or another, the brightest and the best of us have decided that the main topic of discussion has to be how we are all doomed.

Experts have a wide range of “potential threats” coming from, but not excluded to, terrorists, asteroids, disease, acne or any number of natural catastrophes on the way to your town any day now. My personal favorite death wish du-jour is how the Earth is soon to be liquidated away like the wicked witch of the west from ice caps melting. They make it seem like one day I'm going to wake up and I will suddenly be sitting on prime-ocean front real estate in the middle of New York.

The trick to getting over the anxiety of instant peril is to read the fine print. Sure global warming is a concern and we probably should be doing something about it but the dishes in my sink are a problem too, yet I don't foresee myself grabbing the Dawn liquid anytime soon.You might wonder how a person that loves the outdoors can take such a nonchalant attitude toward all things outdoorsy. The answer is pretty basic. All these disasters are going to be happening a few hundred years from now.

So, I'm 35 and although I am having a great time here on Earth I really don't plan on picking up any of my mail anytime after the year 2100.

So if the world suddenly becomes one melted ice cream cone in the year 2101, well, I won't be worrying about getting a new bathing suit. I guess my reasoning for doubt amongst the worry warts goes back to my hatred for weathermen. They say it's going to be a sunny day and then inevitably it turns to rain. And that's just the forecast for this week!

With any luck the pendulum will swing the other way and we'll have an ice age, too bad I won't be around to see it.

Auburn native Bradley Molloy's column appears here,

each Sunday, in The Citizen.

He can be reached at lovonian@hotmail.com