Not many middle-aged men join a fraternity. And only one has written a book about the experience as both a sociological experiment and a heartfelt story of human bonding.
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Scott Conroe, a former staff writer at The Citizen has written a book on his experiences as a member and former adviser to the fraternity Phi Kappa Tau.
Scott Conroe, a former staff writer at The Citizen has written a book on his experiences as a member and former adviser to the fraternity Phi Kappa Tau.
Scott Conroe, former staff writer and editor for The Citizen, wrote “I Take Just Pride” - to be released this week - following six years with Cornell's chapter of the Phi Kappa Tau fraternity. His membership underscores the chapter's unique mission to subvert fraternity stereotypes such as hazing, alcohol abuse and misogyny.
“There was no hazing, there was a lot of community service and they wanted leaders and classy men,” he said.
Conroe grew close to the brothers as their faculty adviser beginning in 2000, when he began teaching news and science journalism classes. At the time, the Phi Kappa Tau chapter was just getting back on its feet as a “colony” after five years of dormancy due to organizational difficulties.
Prior to coming to Cornell, Conroe studied fraternities at his alma mater of St. Lawrence University and also as an Inter-Fraternity Council advisor at his hometown college of SUNY Potsdam.
“I wondered how they could adapt to a changing society where women were taking over more,” he said.
At Cornell, Conroe saw that the shift toward political correctness had all but forced fraternities to choose whether to adapt to social norms or continue to flout them. He noticed that the minimal pledge class had risen from freshman to sophomores, caterers began taking responsibility for parties and risk managers became common fixtures of the fraternity hierarchy.
“Someone poured beer for you,” he said. “If you were wearing the wrong bracelet someone would take the beer away from you.”
When the Phi Kappa Tau chapter restarted in 2000, it did so with no inclination toward the debauchery or irresponsibility that had defined fraternities in the national consciousness. But with all freshmen and sophomore founding members, including Paul Martorano, the chapter frequently sought Conroe's advice on topics like rush.
“He helped us get off the ground when we were only a small group who was meeting in a classroom in one of the school buildings,” said Martorano.
As Conroe worked with the fraternity, he began to feel like a big brother.
“I became more a part of it; I was still an adult, but on their wavelength,” he said.
Conroe was dining with fraternity officers the night before he turned 46 when they offered him a bid to join Phi Kappa Tau. Although they gave him a few days to decide, Conroe had seen the bid coming and prepared his answer in advance.
“When we finally had a chance to actually initiate him as a member, none of the current brothers hesitated one bit,” Martorano said in an e-mail. “It was a great honor for all of us to bring Scott into the fraternity.”
Since becoming a Phi Kappa Tau, Conroe has helped his new brothers elevate the fraternity's name. For several straight years they held the highest collective grade point average among all Greek organizations on campus. They were also named Most Outstanding Fraternity by Cornell for the 2000/2001 and 2001/2002 academic years. The chapter's greatest achievement was winning the 2006 Outstanding Chapter award from the national Phi Kappa Tau organization.
“To finally receive the honor of being the best Phi Tau in the country was a culmination of Scott's and my own Phi Tau career,” said Phi Kappa Tau member Christopher Lee.
Conroe also helped the chapter set an example for others at Cornell by hosting etiquette, fire safety and sex education classes.
“Fraternities are both organizations and belief systems; they own and manage property, they plow the driveway and mow the lawn,” he said. “It's a wonderful way for them to learn how to be leaders.”
But the fraternity's growth hasn't been without its pains. In 2003 the Phi Kappa Tau chapter was punished for hosting an illegal party. Learning how to communicate with his fellow fraternity members has also been a challenge for Conroe, particularly in his role as an authority figure of sorts.
“It's almost like speaking a different language,” he said. “I've learned to ask questions rather than just criticize.”
The rarity of a man his age joining a fraternity has not been without its misunderstandings as well. When Conroe attended his 25th anniversary college reunion at St. Lawrence, he was approached with former classmates whose opinions of a middle-aged fraternity brother were colored by the movie “Old School.”
“I can't be at parties, and I don't take part in rush, because the freshman might be a little weirded out,” he said. “But I get my own slice of what they do.”
Conroe is not exempt from the occasional fraternity rowdiness either. On one birthday, his brothers attempted to toss him in the shower in accordance with a chapter custom.
He was also there for his brothers like Neil Taunk in their most trying moments.
“Recently, when a number of our brothers felt another brother may have a drinking problem, we discussed it amongst ourselves and then a few went to talk to Scott about what to do,” Taunk said.
Along with Scott, the brothers set up an intervention for their fellow Phi Kappa Tau to address his problem with alcohol.
When another former fraternity chapter president was losing his father to cancer, he often turned to Conroe with his feelings. Conroe also helped the student devise an independent study class to ease the trouble of taking the time off for the funeral, which Conroe also attended.
“It made me realize I had to be a better human being,” Conroe said.
“I Take Just Pride” focuses on Conroe's time with the brothers of the Phi Kappa Tau chapter, as well as the growth both he and the fraternity experienced in that time. His continued activity with the chapter speaks to the positive impact it had on him.
“It's pushed me to be a better person and be a part of something,” he said.
Staff writer David Wilcox can be reached at 253-5311 ext. 245 or david.wilcox@lee.net
If you read
What: “I Take Just Pride: How a Fraternity Reinvented Itself, Why a Professor Joined”
Who: Scott Conroe
Publisher: Atlas Books
Cost: $19.95
To order: Visit www.atlasbooks.com or call (800) 247-6553
“There was no hazing, there was a lot of community service and they wanted leaders and classy men,” he said.
Conroe grew close to the brothers as their faculty adviser beginning in 2000, when he began teaching news and science journalism classes. At the time, the Phi Kappa Tau chapter was just getting back on its feet as a “colony” after five years of dormancy due to organizational difficulties.
Prior to coming to Cornell, Conroe studied fraternities at his alma mater of St. Lawrence University and also as an Inter-Fraternity Council advisor at his hometown college of SUNY Potsdam.
“I wondered how they could adapt to a changing society where women were taking over more,” he said.
At Cornell, Conroe saw that the shift toward political correctness had all but forced fraternities to choose whether to adapt to social norms or continue to flout them. He noticed that the minimal pledge class had risen from freshman to sophomores, caterers began taking responsibility for parties and risk managers became common fixtures of the fraternity hierarchy.
“Someone poured beer for you,” he said. “If you were wearing the wrong bracelet someone would take the beer away from you.”
When the Phi Kappa Tau chapter restarted in 2000, it did so with no inclination toward the debauchery or irresponsibility that had defined fraternities in the national consciousness. But with all freshmen and sophomore founding members, including Paul Martorano, the chapter frequently sought Conroe's advice on topics like rush.
“He helped us get off the ground when we were only a small group who was meeting in a classroom in one of the school buildings,” said Martorano.
As Conroe worked with the fraternity, he began to feel like a big brother.
“I became more a part of it; I was still an adult, but on their wavelength,” he said.
Conroe was dining with fraternity officers the night before he turned 46 when they offered him a bid to join Phi Kappa Tau. Although they gave him a few days to decide, Conroe had seen the bid coming and prepared his answer in advance.
“When we finally had a chance to actually initiate him as a member, none of the current brothers hesitated one bit,” Martorano said in an e-mail. “It was a great honor for all of us to bring Scott into the fraternity.”
Since becoming a Phi Kappa Tau, Conroe has helped his new brothers elevate the fraternity's name. For several straight years they held the highest collective grade point average among all Greek organizations on campus. They were also named Most Outstanding Fraternity by Cornell for the 2000/2001 and 2001/2002 academic years. The chapter's greatest achievement was winning the 2006 Outstanding Chapter award from the national Phi Kappa Tau organization.
“To finally receive the honor of being the best Phi Tau in the country was a culmination of Scott's and my own Phi Tau career,” said Phi Kappa Tau member Christopher Lee.
Conroe also helped the chapter set an example for others at Cornell by hosting etiquette, fire safety and sex education classes.
“Fraternities are both organizations and belief systems; they own and manage property, they plow the driveway and mow the lawn,” he said. “It's a wonderful way for them to learn how to be leaders.”
But the fraternity's growth hasn't been without its pains. In 2003 the Phi Kappa Tau chapter was punished for hosting an illegal party. Learning how to communicate with his fellow fraternity members has also been a challenge for Conroe, particularly in his role as an authority figure of sorts.
“It's almost like speaking a different language,” he said. “I've learned to ask questions rather than just criticize.”
The rarity of a man his age joining a fraternity has not been without its misunderstandings as well. When Conroe attended his 25th anniversary college reunion at St. Lawrence, he was approached with former classmates whose opinions of a middle-aged fraternity brother were colored by the movie “Old School.”
“I can't be at parties, and I don't take part in rush, because the freshman might be a little weirded out,” he said. “But I get my own slice of what they do.”
Conroe is not exempt from the occasional fraternity rowdiness either. On one birthday, his brothers attempted to toss him in the shower in accordance with a chapter custom.
He was also there for his brothers like Neil Taunk in their most trying moments.
“Recently, when a number of our brothers felt another brother may have a drinking problem, we discussed it amongst ourselves and then a few went to talk to Scott about what to do,” Taunk said.
Along with Scott, the brothers set up an intervention for their fellow Phi Kappa Tau to address his problem with alcohol.
When another former fraternity chapter president was losing his father to cancer, he often turned to Conroe with his feelings. Conroe also helped the student devise an independent study class to ease the trouble of taking the time off for the funeral, which Conroe also attended.
“It made me realize I had to be a better human being,” Conroe said.
“I Take Just Pride” focuses on Conroe's time with the brothers of the Phi Kappa Tau chapter, as well as the growth both he and the fraternity experienced in that time. His continued activity with the chapter speaks to the positive impact it had on him.
“It's pushed me to be a better person and be a part of something,” he said.
Staff writer David Wilcox can be reached at 253-5311 ext. 245 or david.wilcox@lee.net
If you read
What: “I Take Just Pride: How a Fraternity Reinvented Itself, Why a Professor Joined”
Who: Scott Conroe
Publisher: Atlas Books
Cost: $19.95
To order: Visit www.atlasbooks.com or call (800) 247-6553
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