“Transformers: The Game” plays like a Michael Bay movie. Smash, boom, crash, bad joke; rinse and repeat.
You might think the video game medium makes this formula more enjoyable than on film, but “Transformers'” mix of demolishing buildings, racing through checkpoints and wasting enemies with three-strike combos quickly grows redundant.
Players start by choosing the side of the Autobots or the Decepticons (guess which is good and which is bad). The story of both bots centers on Sam Witwicky, whose great-grandfather's glasses store a map to the Allspark.
This cube-shaped mystical object can corrupt machines by animating them into aggressive monsters. Both robot races seek the artifact - the Decepticons to claim its power, and the Autobots to destroy it.
Should you choose the side of the Autobots, you must protect Sam as popular Transformers like Bumblebee, Jazz and Optimus Prime. As the Decepticons, it is your duty as Starscream, Barricade and Megatron to destroy the Autobots and track down the Allspark.
Neither side offers more excitement in terms of game play; both Transformers' missions hinge on tiresome combat mechanics. Most enemies go down from a few blows and a hit from a tossed object like a car, tree or traffic light.
Other missions require the player to use the Transformer in its vehicular form to race against enemy Transformers or meet checkpoints within time limits.
The sunny Southern California cityscape that the game occurs gets smashed up in the process, and no fixture of the environment is beyond being totaled. Buildings crumble, cars careen off the road and the citizens flee in terror.
As in the “Grand Theft Auto” series, too much destruction will have the police on your tail. But evading them is no trouble; the ease with which Bumblebee or Jazz can plow through a roadblock is almost absurd.
The only real thrill in the game play is pressing the Transform button and watching the car leap into the air as its machinery branches out into its humanoid form. But the fun of that lasts as long as Bay's attention span.
As with most movie video games, the graphics and sound in “Transformers” are solid but unspectacular. The film's cast supplies their voices to the cut scenes, which propel the game along the same plot outline as the film.
The only aspect of the movie missing from “Transformers: The Game” is the unabashed product placement.
And if anything could sour players even more on this a game, it's a Mountain Dew ad.
“Transformers: The Game”
Score: D
Parental rating: Teen for violence
Publisher: Activision
Platform: PlayStation 2, PC, PlayStation 3, PSP, Xbox 360, Wii, Nintendo DS
Retail price: $39.99
Features: 1 player
Life span: Approximately 5 hours to complete
The final boss: Like the Michael
Bay blockbuster that inspired it, “Transformers: The Game” is all shiny surface and no soul
Players start by choosing the side of the Autobots or the Decepticons (guess which is good and which is bad). The story of both bots centers on Sam Witwicky, whose great-grandfather's glasses store a map to the Allspark.
This cube-shaped mystical object can corrupt machines by animating them into aggressive monsters. Both robot races seek the artifact - the Decepticons to claim its power, and the Autobots to destroy it.
Should you choose the side of the Autobots, you must protect Sam as popular Transformers like Bumblebee, Jazz and Optimus Prime. As the Decepticons, it is your duty as Starscream, Barricade and Megatron to destroy the Autobots and track down the Allspark.
Neither side offers more excitement in terms of game play; both Transformers' missions hinge on tiresome combat mechanics. Most enemies go down from a few blows and a hit from a tossed object like a car, tree or traffic light.
Other missions require the player to use the Transformer in its vehicular form to race against enemy Transformers or meet checkpoints within time limits.
The sunny Southern California cityscape that the game occurs gets smashed up in the process, and no fixture of the environment is beyond being totaled. Buildings crumble, cars careen off the road and the citizens flee in terror.
As in the “Grand Theft Auto” series, too much destruction will have the police on your tail. But evading them is no trouble; the ease with which Bumblebee or Jazz can plow through a roadblock is almost absurd.
The only real thrill in the game play is pressing the Transform button and watching the car leap into the air as its machinery branches out into its humanoid form. But the fun of that lasts as long as Bay's attention span.
As with most movie video games, the graphics and sound in “Transformers” are solid but unspectacular. The film's cast supplies their voices to the cut scenes, which propel the game along the same plot outline as the film.
The only aspect of the movie missing from “Transformers: The Game” is the unabashed product placement.
And if anything could sour players even more on this a game, it's a Mountain Dew ad.
“Transformers: The Game”
Score: D
Parental rating: Teen for violence
Publisher: Activision
Platform: PlayStation 2, PC, PlayStation 3, PSP, Xbox 360, Wii, Nintendo DS
Retail price: $39.99
Features: 1 player
Life span: Approximately 5 hours to complete
The final boss: Like the Michael
Bay blockbuster that inspired it, “Transformers: The Game” is all shiny surface and no soul
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