My fellow Americans: Sharpen up those pencils and get those wheels turning because really sharp minds should have no trouble acing this quiz. Here we go again.

A. The most recent scandal under George W. Bush involved: 1. Emeril Lagasse, 2. Vince McMahon, 3. Tank Younger, 4. Scooter Libby.

B. “If people do something wrong, they should pay the consequences” was uttered by: 1. Pac Man Jones, 2. Barry Bonds, 3. Lamont Sanford, 4. George W. Bush.

C. “I am the king of the castle” was stated by: 1. Al Bundy, 2. George W. Bush, 3. Henry the VIII, 4. Ralph Kramden.

D. “It's a done deal” relates best to: 1. Wrestling, steroids, Vince McMahon, 2. Like the Roman empire fell, so to will the GOPs, 3. Daily political corruption GOPs, 4. Bush-Cheney-Libby.

E. What best follows the words, “I found my thrill”: 1. On Capitol Hill, 2. In Silent Hill, 3. Watching “Thriller,” 4. On Blueberry Hill.

F. George Bush thought only what punishment was “excessive.” 1. Carl Fay Tucker's death sentence, 2. Reporter Judith Miller's jail sentence, 3. Baseball player Daryl Strawberry's jail sentence, 4. Scooter Libby's jail sentence of 30 months.

G. “I fought the law and the law won” was said by everyone but: 1. Carly Faye Tucker, 2, Judith Miller, 3. Mike Tyson, 4. George W. Bush.

H. A true patriot is: 1. Someone who will fight for a just cause, 2. Someone not afraid to tell it like it is, 3. Someone of sound, rational mind, 4. Someone who upholds the truth.

I. A traitor is: 1. Someone who wants war but doesn't want to fight in it, 2. Lies and cheats, 3. Has ulterior motives for waging war, 4. Someone reckless in everything saying and doing.

Answers: A. 4, B. 4, C. 4, D. all, E. 4, F. 4, G. 4, H. all, I. all.

Murray Lynch

Auburn