I was moved by a recent story about the parents of a local teenager killed in a drunken driving accident back in 2004.

In the article the parents of the deceased were candid in stating that they did not want the driver, a teenager and friend of their son, to serve his prison sentence.

I applaud the parents for their decency and forgiveness. But I believe that the prison sentence was ultimately just.

I was raised that misbehavior warrants punishment, typically the loss of a privilege. From a very young age I was taught to fear the consequences of breaking the rules.

Of course theories about children and parenting have changed drastically in the last 20 years. Psychologists today don't want children to “fear the consequences” but rather to “respect the benefits” of rules.

I am of the mind that you can't have one without the other. Respect for rules can be taught but not enforced, hence the existence of penalties.

I watched an interesting court case on television recently. In a similar situation two teenage boys took a parent's car without permission and crashed it. The mother who owned the car was suing the boy who was driving the car for vehicle damages.

It was sad to watch these two mothers go head-to-head debating whose child was to blame. In the end no money was awarded and the judge reminded the parents that they should be grateful that no one was seriously hurt.

In that light, I can appreciate that the parents in this local case would choose to defend the driver. I can also appreciate that the driver is probably still over-wrought with grief and regret. But it is difficult to qualify regret. And an apology is not a punishment. A punishment is a sacrifice. Granted losing a friend is a pretty harsh penalty to pay, but it is more so a consequence for the deceased.

The problem is that punishment in the United States is inconsistent. I could spend days analyzing statistics about conviction and age, gender, ethnicity, economic background, etc. But the bottom line is that if you break a rule, or in this case a law, you need to serve your punishment. And to some extent, that needs to be standardized. Otherwise society is simply enabling reckless behavior.

I believe that correctional facilities can function to correct. The concept is basic; by suspending civil liberties perhaps one will learn to appreciate and respect that not all rules are asinine.

Carole Estabrook's column appears Mondays in The Citizen and she can be reached at estabrookcarole@yahoo.com