A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was? The girl replied, “I'm drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 5- and 6-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?”

A 3-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.

“How did you know?” his mother asked. “Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it's printed on the bottom.”

Things to ponder

€ Can you cry underwater?

€ If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

€ Once you're in Heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

€ Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

€ How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

€ If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

€ Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON television?

€ If a 911 operator has a heart attack, who does he/she call?

Dorothy Nelson lives and writes in Auburn