Many wedding traditions have endured because they are based on blessing the couple with good luck. These familiar actions are based on cultural, faith or family customs that have been passed down from generation to generation. But regardless of the tradition itself, each shares the same essential purpose: to symbolize happiness, prosperity and unity.

And to incorporate my fiance's Korean traditions into our future wedding, I'm doing more than just throwing rice.

In fact, he strongly objects to that idea. “Why waste perfectly good rice?” he asks with a tone of contempt.

Currently Korean weddings are similar to the typical Western style in many ways - the bride wears white, the ceremony is held at a church or even outdoors and a reception follows.

But old customs and ways are still practiced and incorporated. And my goal in researching Korean traditions was to find ways to strike a balance between our two cultures and our two families.

My fiance, Hee-Rak Kang, has never attended a wedding, be it American or Korean, so he knew little about traditional matrimony customs on either side.

First I discovered that there are two Korean wedding traditions involving birds that mate for life: ducks and geese.

Traditionally, the groom would give a live goose - a symbol of fidelity - to his new mother-in-law as a sign of his faithfulness to her daughter. Today, a wooden goose is substituted for a live one.

By giving the goose, “the groom is making a promise to take care of his future in-laws' daughter,” explained KyungHee Han, a teacher with the Central New York Korean School.

Then two wooden ducks are presented to the couple on their wedding day, symbolizing three things - peace, many children and no separations.

If the couple quarrels, one will point to the ducks placed prominently in their home, to remind them of the peaceful wedding, and the pair will stop fighting. Or if a fight ensures, visitors to the couple's house may find the wooden ducks turned tail to tail. If all is happy between the two, the ducks remain beak to beak.

“Two ducks make a happy marriage,” Han said.

The typical Korean ceremony takes place around a table with each in traditional clothing. During this ceremony, the bride and groom must bow several times to show respect.

“This is a full bow - head to floor,” Han said. “The first bow is directly to the bride's in-laws and the second is to the brother- and sister- in laws and so on down the line.”

This ceremony traditionally includes the groom's side only, so for this reason, the wedding day separates the bride from her family.

“A Korean woman's wedding day is a little sad for her,” Han said. “It is the day she leaves her family forever. More recently though, that is not the case. But families are still much closer to the male's side.”

This is considered opposite from the typical outcome of a westerner's marriage, where the couple remains close to the bride's side.

The Korean ceremony ends when “the mother-in-law throws Chinese dates, or jujubes, and chestnuts to the bride,” Han said.

In the western traditions, the ceremony ends with the couple being showered with rice. Rice is considered a “life giving” seed, and it is thought that by throwing it on the couple they will be bestowed with fertility and have many children.

But in Korean tradition, the Chinese dates and chestnuts are thrown. Chinese dates symbolize a healthy future, and chestnuts, which are hard and strong, are a symbol of the strong sons to be born. The quantity caught is an omen of good health and many sons.

The bride must catch as many as she can. Han said when her mother viewed her wedding photos, she was chastised because she wasn't actively trying to catch the dates.

“I was focusing so hard on bowing and what to do next,” Han recalled. “No one reminded me I should be catching the dates.”

She advises me, “Catch as many as possible.”

Lake Life editor Ashley Hanry may be reached at 253-5311 ext. 220 or ashley.hanry@lee.net