€ The 82nd Airborne is the first division of the Army to parachute into battle behind enemy lines. But something always goes wrong on the airplane, so we either parachute under intense pressure - and anti-aircraft fire - or we are shot down and literally crash the Germans' party.

€ Parachuting is easy.

€ All the misery and waste of human life in the European Theatre is made soothing and somehow vindicated by the presence of my voice-over narration and stock black-and-white film footage of the war

€ Dwight Eisenhower said he doesn't believe in the 82nd Airborne, but I do because our battles with Hitler's army are accompanied by a symphony orchestra that swells up whenever we accomplish our objectives. I doubt Ike's men share that perk.

€ Europe is quite pretty. Provided I can stop firing my MG42 and get a good look at my surroundings, I find myself stunned by the vividness of the vast rural landscapes and densely structured villages.

€ Contrary to what my fellow soldiers have suggested, German soldiers do not all look the same. It's tough to catch a good glimpse when they're directing the bullets from their Karabiners at you, but those boys in the Third Reich are actually quite dapper.

€ There are several ways to subdue an enemy. If I run out of ammunition - as I seem to do every 30 seconds - I can simply bludgeon him with the butt end of my weapon or toss a grenade at him. I can pick up any weapon that happens to be lying on the ground and wield it with no learning curve, but I can only carry one rifle at a time. After all, this is World War II. I'm not blasting apart demons on Mars, and my last name isn't Nukem.

€ If an enemy hurls a grenade at me, a handy sensor will magically appear before my eyes and alert me to the location of the explosive so that I may scurry away. If I am caught anywhere near the blast, my ears will ring momentarily but within seconds I will regain full consciousness.

€ Bullets whiz by my head in an almost hypnotizing rhythm. If I am struck by one - or eight - blood will cloud my eyes for a few seconds. So long as I seek cover behind a crate or bush, within seconds I will regain full consciousness.

€ The Airborne's advance through Italian villages and the French countryside is determined by the strategic placing of barbed wire boards, supply crates and any other two-foot-high objects over which no American soldier can jump. The only way out is through them, so at select times I place explosive charges that flatten these pesky obstacles.

€ If I break away from my squad and flank the Germans, they will continue directing fire at my comrades and allow me to shoot them without turning their heads.

€ WRITER'S NOTE: If it was this simple in Dubya Dubya Two, how come it took us four years to win?

Staff writer David Wilcox reviews video games for The Citizen. He can be reached at 253-5311 ext. 245 or david.wilcox@lee.net

Score: B

Parental rating: Teen for blood,

language and violence

Genre: First-person shooter

Manufacturer: Electronic Arts

Platform: PlayStation 2, Wii

Retail price: $39.95

Features: 1-4 players

Life span: 5 hours

The final boss: “Medal of Honor: Vanguard” turns fighting

through Axis-dominated Europe from behind enemy lines into a visceral, if not entirely innovative treat.