“With me, a change of trouble is as good as a vacation.”

- David Lloyd George

Ahh, summer. My sweaters are now keeping the closet shelves warm as I don a pair of cargo shorts. As is tradition at this time of year I start to look forward to a vacation.

I've had the day dreams of flying to Vegas; sitting at that blackjack table just to stare down a dealer while coolly saying “let it ride.”

Maybe running with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, or hitchhiking across Europe would be fun, but, just like those other options, it's just a vision to carry me through the chaos of the work week.

As with most activities I needed a bit of guidance, so I went to a travel agent to check out the latest in vacation packages.

The agent was courteous and gave a stack of brochures to help me decide. I found it odd that I have been out of high school almost 20 years and I'm still being given homework to do.

To be honest I have no idea what I'll do this year but, I can clue you in on a few adventures that I can guarantee I won't be participating in.

€ Bungee jumping.

My only thought on this is that when I was younger my parents would sarcastically ask that if my friends jumped off a bridge, would I then want to? My answer? No. And that still holds true. I'm one of those people that cries like a schoolgirl with a skinned knee if I even have to go off the high dive at the public pool, and that's only about 10 feet up!

So the thought of standing over a gorge that's several hundred feet high and strapping a set of rubber bands to my feet and hoping for the best is not really an idea I'd be ready to jump on; or off, as the case may be.

€ Sky diving.

Sure, all the fun of bungee jumping but without the rubber bands! If I'm ever in the need to feel the wind in my face I'll just sit in front of my window fan. Not to mention the fact that you have to be strapped to a total stranger.

I don't trust the cashier at the convenience store to give me back correct change, so why would I place my life in the hands of someone I just met to pull the cord at the right time?

€ Trail riding.

The brochure I'd read showed the majestic plains, a roaring campfire out under the stars and a group of guys trying to be cowboys.

I have two words for that: “Brokeback Mountain.” That movie did for horse riding what Jaws did for swimming. Not going to happen; no matter how good I might look in chaps.

I sit at my kitchen table flipping through pamphlet after pamphlet.

With all the options available I am starting to look at planning a memorable vacation as, dare I say it, work.

Auburn native Bradley Molloy's column appears here, each

Sunday, in The Citizen.

he can be reached at lovonian@hotmail.com