Imagine having to escort your 18-year-old child from the movie theater after he bursts into tears while watching the latest Disney release. Or not being invited to a party because the host thinks that, since your offspring suffers from a mental disability, you're most likely “slow” too.
Jenn Meyers / The Citizen
Todd Peryea, 18, and mother Kathy look over dinner entrees while participating in the Special Blessings support group at Denny's in Auburn last week. Todd and brother, Travis, 17, (not shown) are both autistic.
Todd Peryea, 18, and mother Kathy look over dinner entrees while participating in the Special Blessings support group at Denny's in Auburn last week. Todd and brother, Travis, 17, (not shown) are both autistic.
Members of Special Blessings, a local Christian support group for families of autistic children, deal with these types of difficulties - and plenty of joy, too - on a daily basis. Formed by several local families last fall, the group meets monthly to discuss the joys, fears and other situations that autistic families are presented with every day.
Last week, Special Blessings held its monthly gathering at Denny's restaurant on Grant Avenue to share those experiences, along with some good food and fellowship. The 7 p.m. meeting was attended by several families, children included, and was held in the restaurant's back room.
“We have to pick these restaurants (where we hold our meetings) carefully, because we have to make sure it's the right atmosphere,” said Kathy Peryea of Port Byron, one of the founders of the group and mother to Todd, 18, and Travis, 17, both of whom are autistic.
Peryea conceived the idea for the group after meeting another family of an autistic child at church in October, she explained. “We thought it would be a good idea for us (families) in similar situations to be able to communicate with each other on a regular basis.”
By definition, autism is a developmental disability that results from an impairment of the central nervous system. The disorder usually presents itself at a very young age and is classified by lack of communication skills, inability to socialize and the need for repetition, or “patterns,” in everyday life.
Autistic children, though, are often geniuses in certain areas, and family members usually have I.Q. tests in the genius level as well - a fact that frustrates Peryea to no end.
“I get stares in checkout lines because people think I don't know how to make my sons behave,” she said after last week's meeting. Those assumptions, she continued, are often hard to deal with.
“People think that since a child is autistic, they're mentally retarded, too, and that's usually not the case,” she said. “Even so, we won't be invited to a party because people are afraid of what might happen.”
Intellectual development in autistic children is often hard to judge because the severity of the disorder itself is difficult to pinpoint. Affected people are placed somewhere on the “autism spectrum,” which varies from inability to speak or otherwise communicate in the most severe cases to slight behavioral difficulties in lesser instances. These people are commonly known to suffer from Asperger's Syndrome.
Peryea's son, 18-year-old Todd, who places somewhere high on the autism spectrum was present at last week's meeting. The eldest Puryea sibling is graduating high school in June and plans to attend Cayuga Community College in the fall.
Senior Spanish, Todd Peryea said, was a memorable class.
“I had ... I had a hard time remembering everything,” he said between bites of his bacon cheeseburger.
“But you did, Todd, and you're going to graduate now,” his mother reminded him.
“I did. It was hard, but I did it,” Todd answered.
The difficulties exist, but are evenly matched by the joys she receives from her children. Autistic children are usually characterized by abundant affection and lovingness, a fact echoed by Peryea.
“My kids are so loving ... and there's a lot of humor in everything we do,” she said. “The best thing about having autistic children is that I get to be a large part of their lives.”
Also in attendance at the meeting was 8-year-old Noah Baum, who also places high on the autism spectrum. Asked his favorite subject in school, Baum answered without hesitation: “Recess.”
His favorite thing to study? “Lunch.”
But what does he most like to learn about? “How soon we can get out of school,” he said, grinning from ear to ear.
To learn more
Contact the Special Blessings group leader Kathy Peryea at 252-7377 or
kathleenis_His@yahoo.com to learn more about the group and future monthly meetings.
Last week, Special Blessings held its monthly gathering at Denny's restaurant on Grant Avenue to share those experiences, along with some good food and fellowship. The 7 p.m. meeting was attended by several families, children included, and was held in the restaurant's back room.
“We have to pick these restaurants (where we hold our meetings) carefully, because we have to make sure it's the right atmosphere,” said Kathy Peryea of Port Byron, one of the founders of the group and mother to Todd, 18, and Travis, 17, both of whom are autistic.
Peryea conceived the idea for the group after meeting another family of an autistic child at church in October, she explained. “We thought it would be a good idea for us (families) in similar situations to be able to communicate with each other on a regular basis.”
By definition, autism is a developmental disability that results from an impairment of the central nervous system. The disorder usually presents itself at a very young age and is classified by lack of communication skills, inability to socialize and the need for repetition, or “patterns,” in everyday life.
Autistic children, though, are often geniuses in certain areas, and family members usually have I.Q. tests in the genius level as well - a fact that frustrates Peryea to no end.
“I get stares in checkout lines because people think I don't know how to make my sons behave,” she said after last week's meeting. Those assumptions, she continued, are often hard to deal with.
“People think that since a child is autistic, they're mentally retarded, too, and that's usually not the case,” she said. “Even so, we won't be invited to a party because people are afraid of what might happen.”
Intellectual development in autistic children is often hard to judge because the severity of the disorder itself is difficult to pinpoint. Affected people are placed somewhere on the “autism spectrum,” which varies from inability to speak or otherwise communicate in the most severe cases to slight behavioral difficulties in lesser instances. These people are commonly known to suffer from Asperger's Syndrome.
Peryea's son, 18-year-old Todd, who places somewhere high on the autism spectrum was present at last week's meeting. The eldest Puryea sibling is graduating high school in June and plans to attend Cayuga Community College in the fall.
Senior Spanish, Todd Peryea said, was a memorable class.
“I had ... I had a hard time remembering everything,” he said between bites of his bacon cheeseburger.
“But you did, Todd, and you're going to graduate now,” his mother reminded him.
“I did. It was hard, but I did it,” Todd answered.
The difficulties exist, but are evenly matched by the joys she receives from her children. Autistic children are usually characterized by abundant affection and lovingness, a fact echoed by Peryea.
“My kids are so loving ... and there's a lot of humor in everything we do,” she said. “The best thing about having autistic children is that I get to be a large part of their lives.”
Also in attendance at the meeting was 8-year-old Noah Baum, who also places high on the autism spectrum. Asked his favorite subject in school, Baum answered without hesitation: “Recess.”
His favorite thing to study? “Lunch.”
But what does he most like to learn about? “How soon we can get out of school,” he said, grinning from ear to ear.
To learn more
Contact the Special Blessings group leader Kathy Peryea at 252-7377 or
kathleenis_His@yahoo.com to learn more about the group and future monthly meetings.
