“Danger, Will Robinson, danger!”

- The Robot “Lost In Space”

I'm scared today, folks. Well, I guess scared is too strong a term to use. I guess I am feeling astounded, curious, and perhaps a bit perplexed. Either way, I'm definitely concerned.

The source of this worry comes from the little plastic lid that sits atop my take-out coffee. Normally the lid just keeps the coffee from sloshing around and getting on my shirt when I take a sip; but not today. Today it's talking to me.

No, not in the I hear voices in my head kind of talking (that would be at least a little comforting, knowing my beverage took the time to find out how I was doing). No, this was more like a sign, a warning, if you will.

From the cap came the words: Caution Hot. The words were clearly spelled out for me.

What once was just a cover for my morning cup of Joe is now my protector from getting my tongue burned. In case I just didn't get the point of the first message I now need symbolism as well because, the “O” in hot was made to resemble a flame.

I assume it's to emphasize the point of the dangerous chances I was taking by trying to enjoy some java. As I read the words, I could only muster up one thought, that being: “Are you kidding me?”

Growing up, I used to get told all the time to look both ways, be careful, and always look before you leap. These were some common sense words of wisdom and have, in fact, come in handy from time to time.

This, though, is on another plane altogether. When did we start becoming so lemming like that we now need warnings on everything?

Take bar soap, for instance. Read the label and right there on the side it reads: For external use only. I don't know.

Maybe they put it there because I get dirty thoughts every now and then and the company doesn't want me to try using their product to clean up my act.

To further illustrate the extent of these warnings it actually says “caution sharp edge” on my razor blades. Maybe it's just me, but I always figured that the words “razor” and “blade” pretty much said it all. The argument is that these messages of danger are for toddlers. But how can that be? Babies can't read, let alone shave.

My only conclusion is that an adult somewhere along the way must have actually done something so stupid that the label makers feel they need to herald a warning to us all.

How else do you explain the fact that it states “do not swallow” on the side of paint cans or my favorite has got to be the whole “avoid eye contact” on the gas can.

Well, duh! And all this time I've been using it like Visine.

There's touch, taste, hearing, seeing, and smell, but I think the sense most people lack is, quite simply, “common.”

Auburn native Bradley Molloy's column appears here, each

Sunday, in The Citizen.

He can be reached at lovonian@hotmail.com