“It is always the best policy to speak the truth- unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.”

- Jerome K. Jerome

I just need everyone to please sit down. I have some startling news to deliver. But first, I want to send out thanks for all the kind words, the emotional support, and offers of help I have received these past few weeks. They were very much appreciated in my time of stress.

Now brace yourselves; from the long list of possible contenders, it appears that I am not the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.

I know, I know, I am as shocked as you are. But it's true. Even after all those nights with her poster hanging so seductively on my bedroom wall, the soft music playing in the background, the votive candles flickering and ... ahhhh; precious moments.

I shouldn't make too light of the results because the doctors even said that the DNA tests were only 99.999 percent sure that that Larry Birkhead fellow is the daddy. You know what that means don't you.? That I am 0.001 percent still in the game!

Sure, I'm just poking fun, but I have to say that I've learned a lot from watching this train wreck unfold; about taking responsibility and acting mature. But what I've learned the most is that no matter how rich or famous you get, you can still be one of the “regular people” when it comes to playing the Blame Game.

Oh, the Blame Game, remember that youthful pastime? True, you can be all grown up , and say you don't ever want to play, but eventually that inner child pops out and all of a sudden your six years old again and passing that buck.I don't want to take all the credit and say we invented the Blame Game, but the Molloy boys definitely brought it to a whole new level. We were like a grandmother on her way to Bingo; we just couldn't wait to start doling out the consequences of our actions onto each other.

I remember my brother Shawn, straight-faced next to me, tell my parents, that either my other brother Chris or myself, broke a window in the house. The result? Two sore bottoms and Shawn with a smile. Just like that he pulled a double, not a simple feat, but as I said we were more than mere amateurs

We perfected our techniques so well that by the time I turned 4, I could play it solitary style. How's that you wonder? Picture this; I'm just minding my own business, drawing on the walls when I hear my parents come into the room. The marker goes into my pocket and my outrage comes out.

“Did you see what they did?!?”Now mind you, “they” were probably in school at the time and “I” was not. Result; Shawn and Chris get punished; I'm off the hook, like I said, it takes skill.

I'll try and keep this lesson in mind when I watch the news from now on, cause you never know if what your hearing is the whole truth, or perhaps, it's just someone trying to recapture their lost youth.

Auburn native Bradley Molloy's column appears here, each

Sunday, in The Citizen.

He can be reached at lovonian@hotmail.com