“Veni Vidi Vici” (“I came, I saw, I conquered”)

- Julius Caesar

It must have been about two or three years ago that my buddy Jeff and I decided to go to the Kentucky Derby.

It was one of those road trips that you think about over and over during long days at the office or when you feel like your in a rut.

It was an amazing experience. The jockeys all dressed in their silks. The horses looking so majestic that you'd dare think that they were not only going to run but fly. When the bell goes off, and the gate opens, the entire stadium explodes with a cacophony of noise as the jockey and horse become one.

I had no idea what was going on, but the momentum of the crowd was inspiring.

It was one of those experiences I never thought I would get the chance to relive.

Where do you go to get that same thrill of the gate?

Surprisingly enough I did find something so similar that it took my breath away.

There was no racetrack, there were no ponies, but the excitement of competition was there none the less.

The starting gate? Wal-Mart, 5 a.m., Black Friday!

The day after Thanksgiving sale is like a call to arms for housewives and doting grandmothers everywhere.

The only thing missing was a guy blowing that trumpet!

With flyers in hand they stand at the ready, with one goal in mind; shopping for special discounts.

When the doors opened it was as though I was transported back to Churchill Downs.

For years many women have joked that men were lazy because we wait until the last minute to do our Christmas shopping.

As the carts flew by me I realized why this is.

If ever you had the thought that these women were the weaker sex then you've never experienced the surge of estrogen that is the power shopper.

Men, I believe, are just not built for this sport. Sure we may possess greater upper body strength but that means little to a female with a credit card and an attitude. I didn't have a list, a flyer or a prayer as I was run over like a speed bump in the panic of the sale.

When the pack realized that I was no threat they turned on each other to get some goody that will go on to be wrapped under the tree.

Outnumbered, I hid in the stationary aisle, thinking I had found a safe haven when I realized there was a grandmother eyeing me down over a three-pack of gift wrap.

I stood tall. I stood strong; but like a gazelle in the eyes of a cheetah, I knew my end was near and slid my cart to the side.

Perhaps in a few weeks these ladies will have tired and men will once again be safe to shop, though that day probably won't be until Dec. 24.

Auburn native Bradley Molloy's column appears here, each

Sunday, in The Citizen.

He can be reached at lovonian@hotmail.com