AUBURN - It was a matter of opinion that propelled the group forward.

The eight parents that gathered around a table Wednesday for one of an ongoing series of workshops entitled Parenting Young Children in the Auburn offices of EPIC (Every Person Influences Children), formed a symbolic chain, with each of them a link, that unified, and released a sense of freedom among them.

“The comments I've received from the parents are that they appreciate it, it's not a lecture,” said Dawn Van Orman, EPIC program assistant. “We're not here to tell them their parenting techniques are wrong. We turn (topics) back to the group to say, ‘What do you think?'. And the larger the group, the better - because you get good rebounds from the people.”

The workshop, entitled Promoting Non-Violent Solutions, was evidence that practical parenting methods can often be learned simply by sharing opinions with other parents, and letting a common agreement develop.

To start the session, Van Orman asked each person to select a piece of the many irregular shaped and variously colored papers arranged in the center of the table. They were then to anonymously write two things on one side that make them angry, with two solutions they normally find to deal with them. They then did the same with a second paper regarding what made their children angry, and how their children dealt with their anger.

A basket was then passed, first to put their papers in, then, when filled, for each to select a paper, and read it aloud. As each paper was selected, it was stapled around as a link, threaded through the previously selected paper.

“Is a chain a united front,” Van Orman asked the group, rhetorically. “Are we linked together by something common? We are all parents. We are not alone.”

Each paper, read aloud, created dialogs that lead to solutions. But another catalyst was a review of the three goals to promoting non-violent solutions, listed in the EPIC parent manual, which each participant received.

The second goal regarded identifying early warning signs of violent behavior in children. The debate became just what constituted violent behavior.

“There are times when a child will just come running to you and hit you,” offered one parent.

“At some point,” Art DuMont, of Weedsport, said, “it's only entertainment to the child. If they fall, and you laugh, they'll laugh - and think it's entertainment. And then they'll grow out of it.”

Another parent countered with the issue of biting.

“I was in the closet and he bit a chunk out of me. Some people say bite them back, or tap them in the mouth. I figured - I'm not going to be like everyone else. I tapped him on the hand, and he stopped.”

“I'm betting biting people is not the only thing he's biting at this age,” DuMont said.

Offering her opinion, rather than advice - which is the code of EPIC facilitators - Van Orman clarified that such behavior in children is developmental, and they will grow out of it.

She then reiterated the EPIC philosophy, found in the parent manual: no behavior problem should result in the use of corporal punishment.

While some in the group are mandated to attend the workshops, many attend voluntarily, and past workshops are often referred to when they relate to a present topic.

Many attending have formed friendships as a result of repeat visits. The number attending varies from week to week, and those that so choose, remain known by their first name only.

“Actually, I've learned quite a bit here. I actually take into consideration what I hear here in how to take care of my son,” said Anna Ziemba, of Auburn. “I just put down on the paper, and saw what they said. I'm shy.”

The next workshop, will take place at 6:30 p.m., Aug. 9. The topic will be Developing Respect and Caring in Young Children. While EPIC does not counsel, they do upon request, assist in guiding those interested in where they may find an appropriate agency.