What kind of a parent are you? The answer might surprise you.

Researchers have identified four basic types of parenting styles: indifferent, authoritarian, indulgent and authoritative. These styles result from different combinations of high or low levels of the factors “demandingness” and “responsiveness.”

Demandingness can be visualized as how much a parent expects and demands of the child, a behavior that the parent feels is mature and responsible. Low-level demanding parents are permissive and expect very little mature behavior. High-level demanding parents may expect a great deal of their child.

Responsiveness can be understood as the level of a parent's accepting, supportive response to a child's needs. The range goes from total unresponsiveness and rejection of the child to a high degree of warmth and acceptance.

The indifferent parenting style combines a low level of demandingness with a low level of responsiveness. These parents do as little for their children as they can get away with, and often go to great lengths to minimize their involvement. Neglectful, they and their home environments are egocentric; the parents' needs and wants are always first priority. The lack of a good, loving relationship with the child has significant negative impact on the child's psychosocial development.

The indulgent parenting style combines a low level of demandingness with a high level of responsiveness. In extreme cases, these parents think that any control of a child's choices will violate the child's agency, and that this control will negatively impact the child's development. Little in the way of expectations is placed before the child, with little accountability when the child chooses poorly. The lack of boundaries on the child's behavior when young is a strong marker for mental illness in the child when a teen.

Authoritarian parents are the opposite. There is high demandingness coupled with low responsiveness. Authoritarian parents are overly strict, favoring the use of punishment instead of reward. They believe that children should obey without questioning reasons, authority or timing, regardless of the children's need to learn how to make good decisions. They often do not consider the ways in which a developmentally-challenged child's behavior may be serving an important function for the child. Authoritarian parents also find it difficult to let go of their children and treat them like adults when that time comes. That is, if the child did not rebel so strongly in adolescence that the relationship is severely damaged.

Authoritative parents combine high demandingness with high responsiveness. They are warm and responsive to each child, but expect that behavior standards will be kept. They are conscious of the developmental tasks of each stage of their children's lives, and work to help their children become autonomous and self-directed. Authoritative parents focus on issues, do not tie mistakes to a child's innate value and take ultimate responsibility for their child's behavior until that child becomes an adult. Once the child has become independent, authoritative parents respect their offspring's choices, support and encourage without taking control and give credit where it is due.

Obviously, authoritative parenting is considered optimal. It is strongly associated with healthy development throughout the growing-up years. It fosters the development of psychological maturity, which leads to greater success in life.

If you are having a difficult time with the behavior of your child, please evaluate your parenting style, look for ways to interact that are authoritative and work to help your child become capable of the independence he or she expects and will need as an adult.

Grace MacDowell, M.A., of Auburn, is completing her

doctorate in clinical psychology.

She can be reached at drmac2be@yahoo.com