“I'm eighteen now. I'm an adult, and I don't need you or anyone else telling me what to do!”
I'm sure that many a parent, teacher, or other authority figure has heard this declaration, all the while knowing full-well that the teen may be legally an adult, but is exhibiting far from sufficient maturity to act like an adult.
Physiologically, the human brain is not ready for truly mature behavior until about age 25. Recent neuropsychological research strongly suggests that the frontal cortex, where we make decisions and control our emotions and impulses, is not fully developed until that age. While the potential for mature behavior then exists (the “nature,” or genetic part of the human development equation), the ability to act in such a fashion is grossly shaped by environmental influences (the “nurture” part of the equation that comes from interpersonal interactions).
Unfortunately, too many chronologically older adults haven't “grown up” either, thus doing a poor job of preparing the next generation. These adults want all the power, but little or none of the responsibility, deep sacrifice, and moral structure that are a part of mature adulthood.
Immature adults more often employ concrete thinking and reasoning. They are quick to demand that boundaries be held for others, but not for them.
Like Peter Pan, they break societal folkways or even law to serve their own purposes, with little regard for the feelings and rights of others. They have little integrity, cutting as many corners on quantity or quality of work done as they possibly can, often using a sense of entitlement to justify their behaviors.
Oh, they can be gallant at times, and even take up moral causes, but there is always an element of selfishness to their behaviors. They always seek some sort of reward, such as societal status, power, or recognition.
When things go wrong, though, they are the first to blame others. This “external locus of control” leads them to shirk responsibility and accountability. Thus, they are quick to manipulate facts and people, saying that the world has done them wrong. However, they are never truly at peace with themselves.
Mature behavior, on the other hand, requires the ability to think in an abstract fashion. This takes an ability to comprehend nuances of meaning and to creatively apply principles. It also needs the ability to envision long-range goals, and to use good planning and sequencing skills.
Mature behavior demands the ability to take other perspectives on a matter, and to weigh all information and possible consequences #) good and bad #) before taking any action.
Mature behavior requires a commitment to doing what is right for right's sake, not because it will keep some authority off your back.
Mature behavior requires the ability and willingness to truly sacrifice for others when the need arises. By the way, it's not truly sacrifice if the giver doesn't set aside personal desires, even needs at times, for the sake of others without any expectation of reward or comeback.
When things go wrong, there is an “internal locus of control” that demands the acceptance of responsibility and the willingness to be fully accountable. The mature person will look inward for the reasons for the failure. This introspection process then leads to personal growth, fewer failures in the future, and psychological peace.
Grace MacDowell, M.A., of Auburn, is completing her doctorate in clinical psychology. She can be reached at drmac2be@yahoo.com
Physiologically, the human brain is not ready for truly mature behavior until about age 25. Recent neuropsychological research strongly suggests that the frontal cortex, where we make decisions and control our emotions and impulses, is not fully developed until that age. While the potential for mature behavior then exists (the “nature,” or genetic part of the human development equation), the ability to act in such a fashion is grossly shaped by environmental influences (the “nurture” part of the equation that comes from interpersonal interactions).
Unfortunately, too many chronologically older adults haven't “grown up” either, thus doing a poor job of preparing the next generation. These adults want all the power, but little or none of the responsibility, deep sacrifice, and moral structure that are a part of mature adulthood.
Immature adults more often employ concrete thinking and reasoning. They are quick to demand that boundaries be held for others, but not for them.
Like Peter Pan, they break societal folkways or even law to serve their own purposes, with little regard for the feelings and rights of others. They have little integrity, cutting as many corners on quantity or quality of work done as they possibly can, often using a sense of entitlement to justify their behaviors.
Oh, they can be gallant at times, and even take up moral causes, but there is always an element of selfishness to their behaviors. They always seek some sort of reward, such as societal status, power, or recognition.
When things go wrong, though, they are the first to blame others. This “external locus of control” leads them to shirk responsibility and accountability. Thus, they are quick to manipulate facts and people, saying that the world has done them wrong. However, they are never truly at peace with themselves.
Mature behavior, on the other hand, requires the ability to think in an abstract fashion. This takes an ability to comprehend nuances of meaning and to creatively apply principles. It also needs the ability to envision long-range goals, and to use good planning and sequencing skills.
Mature behavior demands the ability to take other perspectives on a matter, and to weigh all information and possible consequences #) good and bad #) before taking any action.
Mature behavior requires a commitment to doing what is right for right's sake, not because it will keep some authority off your back.
Mature behavior requires the ability and willingness to truly sacrifice for others when the need arises. By the way, it's not truly sacrifice if the giver doesn't set aside personal desires, even needs at times, for the sake of others without any expectation of reward or comeback.
When things go wrong, there is an “internal locus of control” that demands the acceptance of responsibility and the willingness to be fully accountable. The mature person will look inward for the reasons for the failure. This introspection process then leads to personal growth, fewer failures in the future, and psychological peace.
Grace MacDowell, M.A., of Auburn, is completing her doctorate in clinical psychology. She can be reached at drmac2be@yahoo.com
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