There seems to be a lot of major issues that face our wonderful city of Auburn: unemployment, drugs and #- crows?

So it's a no-brainer that city hall officials feel that 65,000 crows are worth 14 grand for two years in a row! Wait a minute. Didn't we elect them to help us. Basically a poor family means less to them than our feathered friends. What is wrong with this picture? Has it truly come down to People vs. Crows?

Mayor Timmy Lattimore needs to get a clue. It's all kind of sad if you ask me. Isn't there something else that we could be spending the money on?

Now here's a thought: Has anyone stopped to think that maybe the crows have a good reason for being here? An older friend of mine who is part Native American has her own theory. She believes that the crows, which in Native American cultures represent spirits of the dead, are watching over the city.

Now while continuing with her theory, let me remind everyone of the booming economy, which once was known here in Auburn in the early '40s.

We once had world famous opera singers taking the stage, successful factories employing hundreds of people and even several different newspapers published right in the area.

Now these spirits watch over the same city, but what do they really see? Super-Wal-Mart, parking lots, empty buildings and, lets not forget, the famous Bass Pro Shops (which isn't even in the city despite it being promoted as such).

For another year the clowns at city hall will waste another large sum of money to teach city workers on how to haze our feathery friends. OK, if they'd like, they can give me all that money, and I'll teach the city workers how to hold their hands above their heads and run around screaming BOO.

I'll even consider doing that at half price! Or here's an idea: Let's have a “pot and pan banging night!”

Everyone in the city can come out at night once a month with pots and pans and run a round banging them, and I'm sure that wouldn't cost anywhere near what their paying now. But, hey, it was just a thought.

Now here's another question for citizens of Auburn. Would there be half as much fuss over these creatures if they were white doves? Would we actually take pride out of them if they were a symbol of a church? If so, that is just ridiculous if you ask me.

Well, at this time next year we'll see what other money we can waste, because you know darn well they'll be back. Until then the spirits which lie within the crows will simply take flight over city hall, pooping all over the official's cars while they continue to waste money that could be better spent bringing back the life that once echoed throughout the city.

Reitz's column appears Monday in The Citizen. He can be reached at stargazingtalent@hotmail.com