You hear them laughing (or is that plotting?) at you as you walk to your car in the parking lot and you catch yourself walking faster and fumbling for your keys ...
... there are plenty of open parking spaces adjacent to the Seward House in the YMCA parking lot, but you're willing to walk a little farther instead of parking under those trees. (This begs another nagging question: Why do some YMCA members park illegally so that they don't have to walk as far #- when they're heading into a gym?)
... you realize you've gone all summer without washing your car, but now you begin to look for loose quarters on the floorboards and between the seats. It is unfounded, but you figure that like ketchup stains on a dress shirt, you need to wash your car immediately after it has been “soiled,” lest the stain set and you have permanent polka dots ...
... on the days when they “get” your car, you catch yourself momentarily staring at the plops on the windshield, wondering what kind of diet they must have, always figuring the one that “got” your car had been eating from the dumpster behind a Mexican restaurant. You marvel at the different colors and presume it must have been a multiple attack because no single one could have that type of inconsistent incontinence ...
... you can hear the sounds of shotguns being loaded by antsy hunters who can't wait until February, and you can smell spray-paint in the air, as protesters are preparing signs for another weekend of crying fowl ...
... there will be four months of advocates, poems, watches, falconers, books, experts, exhibits, shirts, calendars, recipes, mobiles, rescuers, artwork ...
... this is the one time of year you welcome heavy, driving rainstorms, which saves you a few extra quarters ...
... rumors are again rampant as to how to keep them away from your yard, including the trick of hanging dead ones from your trees, but you're pretty sure they don't sell dead ones at Wegmans ...
... you always see them in your neighborhood on trash day, but wish they'd stop by a day early and take the cans out to the curb themselves, saving both you and them a lot of time.
... the local car wash owners are wearing nicer clothes, driving fancier cars ...
... it becomes dark at 5 p.m., not because of daylight-saving time, but because they are hovering ...
... school children appear to be playing hopscotch on the sidewalks on their way to school, but they're just trying not to step in ...
... we will again hear theories on why they select Auburn: the lights, the high concentration of trees, the heat from the business district, the landfill, the downtown dumpsters, the nightlife, the museums, the quality of life, the cost of living, the good schools ...
... you know the circus will be arriving soon, also known as the USDA crow chasers, who will blasting horns, firing off pyrotechnics, and lighting flares. These handsomely-paid Pied Pipers will do everything but play flutes down the center of downtown Genesee Street in an effort to convince the crows that Owasco, Sennett and Fleming are more attractive places to settle than Auburn, which is what real estate agents have been saying for years ...
... they're back.
Editor Mikel LeFort can be reached at 253-5311 ext. 230 or e-mail mikel.lefort@lee.net
... you realize you've gone all summer without washing your car, but now you begin to look for loose quarters on the floorboards and between the seats. It is unfounded, but you figure that like ketchup stains on a dress shirt, you need to wash your car immediately after it has been “soiled,” lest the stain set and you have permanent polka dots ...
... on the days when they “get” your car, you catch yourself momentarily staring at the plops on the windshield, wondering what kind of diet they must have, always figuring the one that “got” your car had been eating from the dumpster behind a Mexican restaurant. You marvel at the different colors and presume it must have been a multiple attack because no single one could have that type of inconsistent incontinence ...
... you can hear the sounds of shotguns being loaded by antsy hunters who can't wait until February, and you can smell spray-paint in the air, as protesters are preparing signs for another weekend of crying fowl ...
... there will be four months of advocates, poems, watches, falconers, books, experts, exhibits, shirts, calendars, recipes, mobiles, rescuers, artwork ...
... this is the one time of year you welcome heavy, driving rainstorms, which saves you a few extra quarters ...
... rumors are again rampant as to how to keep them away from your yard, including the trick of hanging dead ones from your trees, but you're pretty sure they don't sell dead ones at Wegmans ...
... you always see them in your neighborhood on trash day, but wish they'd stop by a day early and take the cans out to the curb themselves, saving both you and them a lot of time.
... the local car wash owners are wearing nicer clothes, driving fancier cars ...
... it becomes dark at 5 p.m., not because of daylight-saving time, but because they are hovering ...
... school children appear to be playing hopscotch on the sidewalks on their way to school, but they're just trying not to step in ...
... we will again hear theories on why they select Auburn: the lights, the high concentration of trees, the heat from the business district, the landfill, the downtown dumpsters, the nightlife, the museums, the quality of life, the cost of living, the good schools ...
... you know the circus will be arriving soon, also known as the USDA crow chasers, who will blasting horns, firing off pyrotechnics, and lighting flares. These handsomely-paid Pied Pipers will do everything but play flutes down the center of downtown Genesee Street in an effort to convince the crows that Owasco, Sennett and Fleming are more attractive places to settle than Auburn, which is what real estate agents have been saying for years ...
... they're back.
Editor Mikel LeFort can be reached at 253-5311 ext. 230 or e-mail mikel.lefort@lee.net
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