Life can be hard at times; sometimes we wish we weren't around to deal with the problems life throws our way. Life at the same time can be fun #- a journey that is the reward of living.

The years when I was in a fog of depression seemed forever; time didn't seem to move. I don't know why I was so upset. It probably stemmed from the fact that I was trying to find myself in a world that moved all the time, but never really accomplished anything.

I was in the middle of realizing I was a minority in society, I was homosexual. It's hard to accept yourself in this world we live in, if you are not "normal." Normal to me means the conformity of the majority in a certain place. Schools are a world of the straight. It's hard to find people who understand and even accept the difference that's more common than many realize.

People often think of depression as something no one should experience.

The truth is, I'm glad that I had a hard time in my life; it let me see who I was and what I should become. It prepared me for the many disappointments, and made me appreciate the joys. It allowed me to see what I liked and didn't like about myself. It helped me make a change for the better.

It wasn't until ninth grade that I really got back on track with my life. I started writing, and that was a help to me. I learned a lot about myself in my deepest phase of depression. I started to write; it's what got me out of deepest hole in my life. It didn't cover up the problem at hand; it helped me deal with it in a quiet way. Writing for me today is what I live for other than my family and friends. It's what I know best and it's what makes me stand out in the small community of school.

Before this, I had felt a deep need to kill myself. The problem was that I was too afraid to do so. I didn't want to die; I just wanted the nagging mental pain to go away. In my thoughts of suicide, I thought of my family; my future.

There are three people who helped me cope with my depression: my mother; Ann Payne, a teacher at East Middle School; and Patricia Oxford, East Middle's psychologist. They all helped me find myself and allowed me to look forward to life.

What I know today, I would not know if it were not for them. I wouldn't know that there is a tomorrow, even if today is not going well. I would not be here; I would be in the ground, being eaten by the devilish worms of evil.

The words "thank you" are not enough to show how much I appreciate all that they have taught me and all that they still teach me.

If ever you come across someone who is suicidal, don't tell them that it's just a phase or that they are stupid. In the first place, that person has enough trust in you to tell you how they feel. If someone tells you that they are suicidal, tell someone, even if it means you have to lose a friendship. I would rather lose a friendship than lose a friend to suicide any day.

So, please listen to those around you and acknowledge that you are here to help. Enlighten others, so that they live the life they were meant to live.