There's nothing like waking up to the grating sounds of "caw...caw."

Auburnians have come to accept seeing hundreds of crows swooping down onto their bagged trash. Some have witnessed the smaller bags actually being carried away to unknown destinations.

Utica thought they had problems with 8000 crows. That's small droppings compared to the inch-thick layer we get here.

Not only are these birds annoying and filthy, but they can also carry a disease that kill human beings. Tom Lennox, the man who heads the crow hunts, donated 1200 crows to Cornell for extensive studies on West Nile and other deadly diseases.

Getting rid of them seems like a "no brainer", but we have activists fighting to protect this outrageous number of crows. Only animal activists would value birds over human life.

This month, Mayor Tim Lattimore expects to take care of the whole mess with the USDA's help. To counteract the Mayor's efforts, here are ten ways crow activists can promote their cause:

1. To prove an increase in tourism, a visitors' sign-up sheet will be placed outside City Hall during the Annual Dead Crow Throw.

2. Crow-callers will be hired to promote crow-mating to triple the amount of birds for future tourism.

3. Steps should be taken immediately to attract other species. What would National Geographic think about 50,000 racoons racing through our streets?

4. To increase revenue, new visitors to City Hall should buy heavy duty flop-drop umbrellas.

5. The "Crow Loyalists' Club" will call their fist meeting at dusk, across from City Hall. All pro-crow members will lay flat on their backs and sing "Kumbaya" while the crows are in night-flight overhead.

6. Encourage businesses to give out complimentary car-wash passes.

7. Instead of a "Key to the City", the crow activist of the year will be given the keys to a brand-new, one-of-a-kind Crowmobile.

8. In memory of ex-mayor Carnicelli, a balloon-fest will be scheduled where children will re-enact the hanging of yellow balloons that resemble owls on trees in hopes of scaring crows.

9. To encourage local involvement, sidewalk scrapings will take place every Tuesday.

10. Cayuga county taxidermists will sponsor a "Crow Ball" every January. Their motto will be: "If you can't beat 'em, stuff 'em." (Crow costumes optional.)

Hopefully, residents will understand the seriousness of 50,000 potentially disease- carrying birds and will support our city officials to improve the quality of life for human beings in our city.

In the words of Mayor Lattimore,"The pied piper got rid of the rats; hopefully, the USDA will send our feathered friends back to the country."

Judy Ducayne's column appears Tuesdays in The Citizen. She can be reached at sacredheart6005@hotmail.com