Of the hundreds of poems Ra'Shonda Flowers writes to express her feelings, one has earned a spot at her desk at work.
Ra'Shonda Flowers tutors her son A.J., 5, on his reading and writing skills as soon as she returns from work. Jason Rearick / The Citizen
Its opening line, "Attitude is everything," speaks to what motivates her.
"If someone tries to give me a bad attitude, I show them attitude is everything," said Flowers, 20.
The poem is tacked up in her office next to two wallet-sized photos of her 5-year-old son, A.J., who she may not have kept if it weren't for her optimistic attitude.
Flowers became pregnant at 14 and gave birth at 15, an age when most girls are more concerned with schoolwork than changing diapers.
But Flowers aspires to be known as something other than just a teen mother.
She is a college graduate with a full-time job.
She is a poet.
She is a mother to not only her son but also her 14-year-old sister, of whom she has full custody.
Flowers is also working toward a bachelor's degree in criminal justice with the goal of being a juvenile parole officer. She thinks she can make more of an impact helping youth turn their lives around, something she's doing through self-motivation.
Flowers considers herself lucky to have A.J.'s father, 22-year-old Adrian Agee Sr., in the picture.
"Without him, it would be even harder to do what I'm doing," she said.
Agee is very much a part of A.J.'s life, helping get him ready in the morning and putting him on the bus to kindergarten while Flowers gets ready for work.
"In the beginning - I'm not gonna lie - I didn't want to have the baby. I was young," he said. "In the long run, a lot of good things have happened to me since then."
Agee considers Flowers to be the inspiration behind completing his GED, which Flowers said was like a "gold prize" for him. They juggled priorities with Agee working while Flowers was at school.
Now their roles have switched. Flowers works while Agee goes to Cayuga Community College for business administration studies.
"She encouraged me to keep fighting because she fought the good fight," Agee said. "So why wouldn't I fight the good fight?"
One of Flowers' strongest tools in that fight was education. Flowers graduated from Auburn High School, earning the award for hardest-working student for two of those years.
"There were a lot of days when I was like, 'I'm not going,'" she said.
When most teen mothers don't even think about college, she was finishing her two-year degree in criminal justice this May from CCC.
"Sometimes I was taking 15 or 18 credits a semester," she said. "If it says two years, I wanted to get done in two years."
She's not slowing down, either. This year, she began working toward her bachelor's degree from Empire State College, taking four classes this semester. She's also working full-time as an Americorps intern developing emergency plans under the corps' Project Roses program.
She wants to be an example to other youth who may find themselves in a difficult situation like her own.
"As long as I can touch one person, I'm happy about it," she said.
In 2001, nearly 36 out of every 1,000 girls in Cayuga County between 10 and 19 years old were pregnant. And few of those pregnancies resulted in an actual birth, according to the Cayuga County Department of Health.
Some of those young mothers get help from TASA, or Take A Step Ahead, a program through the Cayuga/Seneca Community Action Agency. Flowers gets help from TASA, but also gives back as a volunteer and mentor to other young mothers.
"They say I'm their success story," she said. "I've been in it since I was 14 years old." The program provides case management for youth age 10 to 21.
Flowers' determination has impressed Amanda Schaub, who runs the TASA program, in just the short year they have known each other.
"She has an unbelievable ability not to get discouraged," Schaub said. "She sees barriers and knows how to get over them."
Flowers is modest about her accomplishments. She's reluctant to offer up the details of her life to strangers. She doesn't want to sound like she's making excuses.
"I should be able to handle situations given to me," she said.
But sometimes her home life catches up with her. Flowers remembers taking a sociology class at CCC, a class so difficult that about 30 students were weeded down to around 10. She stuck with it, but had problems finishing a paper on time.
The professor had little sympathy for her late assignment, so she opened up to him. She explained everything: her pregnancy, her son, her sister.
"I said it all in one breath," she said. "He couldn't say anything but ' wow.'"
Flowers came out with a C+ on the paper and a B in the class. "Getting a B in that class was like an A+++ to me," she said.
She's upfront with her professors because of how importantly she views doing well in school.
"I might be five or 10 minutes late because I'm putting A.J. on the bus, but I'll be there."
Flowers also makes education a priority for her son. When A.J. was only 2, Flowers bought four books for $70 from a door-to-door salesman who was selling them to earn his way through school.
The books' pages are full of objects just waiting to be spelled. Flowers works through a few words every day with A.J. after school.
A few days ago, she was working with A.J. on how to spell items found in a bedroom: lamp, teddy bear, rug. A.J. insisted the picture of a rug was actually a carpet, but reluctantly wrote R-U-G anyway.
With every word A.J. correctly printed in block letters, Flowers proudly circled and dated it, marking his every accomplishment.
Flowers also helps her 14-year-old sister, Janeis Barr, with her homework every night. She received full custody of Janeis about a year ago after their grandmother died.
Their mother wasn't able to take care of the girls when they were growing up, spending time in and out of rehab. She is still a part of their lives, though, helping out with A.J. this summer.
"Now that I'm older, I understand," Flowers said. "She needed to help herself before helping my sister."
The new roles required an adjustment.
"I look at her like an annoying sister, but I have to see her as a daughter," Flowers said.
"I'm happy living with my sister because she supplies everything I need in life," Janeis said. "She's there for me when I need to talk to her."
But with Janeis standing a few inches taller than her sister, it's hard to tell who is the mother.
"I look like the little sister," Flowers said.
Flowers wants to create the structured household her mother wasn't able to provide. She even institutes reading time every night from 7 to 7:30 p.m. She reads to A.J. every night before bed.
Through it all, she keeps writing poetry, drawing on inspiration from the greats like Maya Angelou, Emily Dickinson and Lorraine Hansberry.
Agee remembers a poem she wrote for him to keep in his wallet and pull out when he felt down. He had forgotten about it and rediscovered it one day.
"I read the poem, and I was up," he said. "I was up movin'. Since that day, I haven't stopped movin'."
Flowers wants to make sure others stay motivated, too. Looking back on her life so far, she feels there was a power bigger than herself to keep her going.
"I don't know how I did it, but I just knew I had to do it."
Staff writer Liz Hacken can be reached at 253-5311 ext. 267 or elizabeth.hacken@lee.net
"If someone tries to give me a bad attitude, I show them attitude is everything," said Flowers, 20.
The poem is tacked up in her office next to two wallet-sized photos of her 5-year-old son, A.J., who she may not have kept if it weren't for her optimistic attitude.
Flowers became pregnant at 14 and gave birth at 15, an age when most girls are more concerned with schoolwork than changing diapers.
But Flowers aspires to be known as something other than just a teen mother.
She is a college graduate with a full-time job.
She is a poet.
She is a mother to not only her son but also her 14-year-old sister, of whom she has full custody.
Flowers is also working toward a bachelor's degree in criminal justice with the goal of being a juvenile parole officer. She thinks she can make more of an impact helping youth turn their lives around, something she's doing through self-motivation.
Flowers considers herself lucky to have A.J.'s father, 22-year-old Adrian Agee Sr., in the picture.
"Without him, it would be even harder to do what I'm doing," she said.
Agee is very much a part of A.J.'s life, helping get him ready in the morning and putting him on the bus to kindergarten while Flowers gets ready for work.
"In the beginning - I'm not gonna lie - I didn't want to have the baby. I was young," he said. "In the long run, a lot of good things have happened to me since then."
Agee considers Flowers to be the inspiration behind completing his GED, which Flowers said was like a "gold prize" for him. They juggled priorities with Agee working while Flowers was at school.
Now their roles have switched. Flowers works while Agee goes to Cayuga Community College for business administration studies.
"She encouraged me to keep fighting because she fought the good fight," Agee said. "So why wouldn't I fight the good fight?"
One of Flowers' strongest tools in that fight was education. Flowers graduated from Auburn High School, earning the award for hardest-working student for two of those years.
"There were a lot of days when I was like, 'I'm not going,'" she said.
When most teen mothers don't even think about college, she was finishing her two-year degree in criminal justice this May from CCC.
"Sometimes I was taking 15 or 18 credits a semester," she said. "If it says two years, I wanted to get done in two years."
She's not slowing down, either. This year, she began working toward her bachelor's degree from Empire State College, taking four classes this semester. She's also working full-time as an Americorps intern developing emergency plans under the corps' Project Roses program.
She wants to be an example to other youth who may find themselves in a difficult situation like her own.
"As long as I can touch one person, I'm happy about it," she said.
In 2001, nearly 36 out of every 1,000 girls in Cayuga County between 10 and 19 years old were pregnant. And few of those pregnancies resulted in an actual birth, according to the Cayuga County Department of Health.
Some of those young mothers get help from TASA, or Take A Step Ahead, a program through the Cayuga/Seneca Community Action Agency. Flowers gets help from TASA, but also gives back as a volunteer and mentor to other young mothers.
"They say I'm their success story," she said. "I've been in it since I was 14 years old." The program provides case management for youth age 10 to 21.
Flowers' determination has impressed Amanda Schaub, who runs the TASA program, in just the short year they have known each other.
"She has an unbelievable ability not to get discouraged," Schaub said. "She sees barriers and knows how to get over them."
Flowers is modest about her accomplishments. She's reluctant to offer up the details of her life to strangers. She doesn't want to sound like she's making excuses.
"I should be able to handle situations given to me," she said.
But sometimes her home life catches up with her. Flowers remembers taking a sociology class at CCC, a class so difficult that about 30 students were weeded down to around 10. She stuck with it, but had problems finishing a paper on time.
The professor had little sympathy for her late assignment, so she opened up to him. She explained everything: her pregnancy, her son, her sister.
"I said it all in one breath," she said. "He couldn't say anything but ' wow.'"
Flowers came out with a C+ on the paper and a B in the class. "Getting a B in that class was like an A+++ to me," she said.
She's upfront with her professors because of how importantly she views doing well in school.
"I might be five or 10 minutes late because I'm putting A.J. on the bus, but I'll be there."
Flowers also makes education a priority for her son. When A.J. was only 2, Flowers bought four books for $70 from a door-to-door salesman who was selling them to earn his way through school.
The books' pages are full of objects just waiting to be spelled. Flowers works through a few words every day with A.J. after school.
A few days ago, she was working with A.J. on how to spell items found in a bedroom: lamp, teddy bear, rug. A.J. insisted the picture of a rug was actually a carpet, but reluctantly wrote R-U-G anyway.
With every word A.J. correctly printed in block letters, Flowers proudly circled and dated it, marking his every accomplishment.
Flowers also helps her 14-year-old sister, Janeis Barr, with her homework every night. She received full custody of Janeis about a year ago after their grandmother died.
Their mother wasn't able to take care of the girls when they were growing up, spending time in and out of rehab. She is still a part of their lives, though, helping out with A.J. this summer.
"Now that I'm older, I understand," Flowers said. "She needed to help herself before helping my sister."
The new roles required an adjustment.
"I look at her like an annoying sister, but I have to see her as a daughter," Flowers said.
"I'm happy living with my sister because she supplies everything I need in life," Janeis said. "She's there for me when I need to talk to her."
But with Janeis standing a few inches taller than her sister, it's hard to tell who is the mother.
"I look like the little sister," Flowers said.
Flowers wants to create the structured household her mother wasn't able to provide. She even institutes reading time every night from 7 to 7:30 p.m. She reads to A.J. every night before bed.
Through it all, she keeps writing poetry, drawing on inspiration from the greats like Maya Angelou, Emily Dickinson and Lorraine Hansberry.
Agee remembers a poem she wrote for him to keep in his wallet and pull out when he felt down. He had forgotten about it and rediscovered it one day.
"I read the poem, and I was up," he said. "I was up movin'. Since that day, I haven't stopped movin'."
Flowers wants to make sure others stay motivated, too. Looking back on her life so far, she feels there was a power bigger than herself to keep her going.
"I don't know how I did it, but I just knew I had to do it."
Staff writer Liz Hacken can be reached at 253-5311 ext. 267 or elizabeth.hacken@lee.net
