The mystical one turns over the card and reads the following:

"The crow; a powerful magic animal, it is the symbol of the shaman who is not afraid of penetrating the paths of wisdom.

"It spreads and organizes culture; it creates and frees the sun. Its tongue is a flash of lightning and it raises the wind with a beat of its wings."

Then it's, "Holy raven feather, Crow-Magman!" his faithful sidekick Spinout cries as they jump into the crow-mobile armed with weapons of crow destruction to scour the countryside for those black marauders of the garbage heaps.

BANG! KAPOW! KABLOOEY!

And once again it is safe to "Turtle Wax" the Pontiac.

But meanwhile back in city hall, the Falconer is busy hatching a plan to lighten the coiffures of the treasury.

Any place else it would've been good fodder for an action comic. For the last couple of weeks here in Auburn, it has been a reality.

I have spoken to Tom Lennox, one of the masterminds behind the annual crow shoot.

He boasted how last year's protest only raised national awareness so that he has had inquiries from as far away as California.

He claims the legitimacy for having a weekend saunter into slaughter is to raise money for charity.

I can't help wondering if more money was raised by protesters for this charity, if Mr. Lennox would call the whole bloodfest off.

Having walked in the shoes of someone who has had the unexpected pleasure of scooping up strewn garbage, I realize that there is a problem.

I have driven down streets on trash collection days and witnessed bags being ripped open for the morsels inside.

Not being the smartest human alive it has taken me a couple adventures into the gathering of scattered refuse before I invested in cans to prevent animal entry.

In trying to solve the problem, the mayor has resorted to consulting a raptor hit man. Could this be the Pied Piper story all over again?

Although I am in awe of hawks and falcons, I am unsure whether they are the answer. Crows can be quite adversarial and I have often watched them chasing hawks after they have invaded a crow's nest.

I question how many birds of prey will be needed to scare away 50,000 crows.

I have grave concerns when the solution to a problem involves upsetting the balance of nature.

If people are worried about their cats and dogs now, they'll have real concerns if large numbers of these carnivores are introduced into the Auburn skyline.

Of course if it works, I hope the city does not try to stiff him or else we'll have eagles careening in from the sky whisking our children away.